[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like chivalry!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Sexting always seemed like a no brainer to me – don’t send naked pictures of yourself out into the world unless you want everybody to see them (see the smarts a college education buys!) – but it seems like the line has gotten blurrier and blurrier and now I’m not sure what to think.

Ok, let’s start with the obvious. We have all learned (from those drunken Facebook photos) that once something is out there, you can never really take it back, and sexting has the same issues. Even if it’s just words and not pics of your naughty bits, the last thing you want is for your BF’s pals to get hold of his phone and see (or god forbid, send) that stuff. Not to mention the whole, “what happens if you two break up and he’s still got all that stuff” issue.

There’s just so much that can go wrong with sending dirty stuff to each other’s phones or email (ever accidentally sent a text to the wrong person… yeah, that’s what I thought!). And since this stuff just ends up floating around in technology-land somewhere, there’s an actual legit chance that,  say, your future boss/BF/skeezy-neighbor-down-the-hall could find these stupid little mistakes that you made and judge you for them. Is it really worth having that over your head?

But on the flip side,  is sexting really that bad? It seems like every other month some women’s mag is telling me that I should keep my man revved up by sending him some dirty thoughts via text – and I have to admit that kinda makes sense. Texts are a lot less intimidating than actually having to say this stuff out loud, plus you can do it anywhere. Why not embrace the tech to make our sexy lives better, right?

Realistically, I’ve had some risqué text convos that I really wouldn’t want everyone on the planet seeing (sorry mom!) but should I let that idea keep me from having a little naughty fun when I want to? Should you really care what that theoretical future person might think of you – and more importantly, should you let that hold you back? After all, we live in an age where everyone’s personal flubs are public knowledge, so are we being too prudish about the whole idea of this?

Ok chickadees, what are your thoughts? Have you ever sent a dirty pic or text? Would you do it again? Are you doing it right now? (on second thought, don’t tell me!)

Is sexting a bad idea or just over-hyped? Duke it out!

Lesson Learned: Bloody hot mess on stage = best career move EVER

Is it just me, or does it seem like almost every celebrity out there had some giant scandal in 2009? I feel like I spent at least 3/4 of the year crouched in front of the TV or refreshing my news on the internet just to keep up. From Michael Jackson’s shocking death, to cheating husbands, to a family sending a silver balloon in the air and forcing their family to lie just to get on TV, the scandals have gone from serious and sad to very WTF worthy.

Seriously, WTF, 2009?

But I guess when it comes down to it, all of this (hot) mess can do some good. I mean, even if Tiger’s marriage doesn’t work out and Carrie Prejean’s sex tapes continue to circulate to the point that her career is really over, at least I learned a few things. And all without having a giant mess on my hands.

So thank you, celebs, for being the anti-role models that I need and teaching me some very important life lessons. Below, the top 10 lessons I learned in 2009:

1. Do Not Send Naked Photos. Just Don’t! You’d think I would know this already, but celebs just keep drilling it into my head. Too bad they still aren’t learning the lesson. Among others, naked pics of Rihanna, Carrie Prejean, Ashley Greene, and Vanessa Hudgens (again) popped up on the Internet this year. And got passed around quicker than the Swine Flu in a college dorm. So the next time that guy you barely know asks for some sexy pictures via text, think about this: there is 90% chance that those images could come back to haunt you. And a 100% chance if you break his heart.

2. Don’t Do Drugs! We’ve heard that message a million times, but it never rang more true than when the world lost Michael Jackson. Of course, we also have a few other people drilling this point home. Like Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Steven Tyler….

3. If You Have Enough Money, You Can Probably Get Away With Almost Anything. Or at least raping a thirteen-year-old girl. That’s the case for Roman Polanski who did not get the punishment he deserved for his heinous crime but, thanks to his piles of cash, was allowed to return to his home in Switzerland under the conditions of house arrest. Wanna rise above the law? Start saving that money now, ladies.

4. Ignorance is NOT Always Bliss. The minute Carrie Prejean opened her mouth and started dissing gay marriage, she caused a scandal big enough to last for months. (Though, we can give credit to Perez Hilton for that…) I’m pretty sure it made everyone realize that we really need to think long and hard before we talk.

5. Business and Romance Do Not Mix. We’ve heard this one time and time again, but does anyone listen? Apparently not David Letterman. A little office booty and the next thing he knows, he’s all mixed up in an extortion plan and sharing his sexploits with the world. Want a successful future? Keep it in your pants (or skirt) in the office.

6. You Should Never Hit a Woman. EVER. Once a mega-star, the entire world has watched Chris Brown’s career go down the crapper ever since he laid his hands on Rihanna. Even now there are some places that are refusing to sell his music. The fact is, it is never OK to hit a woman and Chris Brown is only one of many men (like that teacher from Queens who knocked Snooki out) who must learn that lesson the hard way.

7. If You Cheat, You Will Get Caught. Before this year, I kind of thought that cheating was something that almost everyone got away with. Now, not so much. If I’ve learned anything from 2009, it’s that cheating will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, thanks to the affairs of Tiger Woods and Jon Gosselin. We watched Jon and Kate break up, leaving Jon behind as a pathetic, Ed Hardy-wearing attention whore who no one likes, all because he decided to have a little fun on the side. And don’t even get me started on Tiger Woods. His whole golf career is over because he couldn’t resist the temptations of ugly porn stars and slutty cocktail waitresses.

8. Everyone Will Love You If You Be Yourself. Lady Gaga might be the wackiest celeb out there right now, but she also had one of the best years ever. Who would have thought we could love someone who gave a bloody performance or shot sparklers out of her boobs? But we do. Why? Because she’s not hiding who she is. She’s a leotard-loving diva and we love her for it.

9. No One Likes an Attention Whore. Speidi, Jon Gosselin, Michael Lohan – I’m talking to you. These incredibly annoying stars have truly made me see that while the world may know your name, it doesn’t mean they love you. Or respect you. Or want to see your ugly Botoxed face (that one’s for you Heidi) ever again. And Balloon Boy’s parents? Well, I just hate you.

10. It is Possible to Bounce Back After a Bad Year. Last year, we all watched as Britney Spears rode first class to Crazy Town. But this year she proved that was not a one-way ticket.  Britney completed a world tour, got her sexy body back, and didn’t give the gossip mags much to be negative about. Ms. Spears has helped me realize that no matter what we do, even if it’s shaving our heads and holding our babies hostage, we can still come back.

Honorable mentions:
Birds and airplanes don’t mix.
Abstinence is not the answer.
Vampires are cool. Like, really cool.

Record number of questions this week! Sorry to those of you who haven’t been answered–Tuffy’s trying to work her way through as many of them as she can!! In the meantime, keep sendin’ those questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and I’ll keep answerin’ them, one by one!

Confidential to Terry: Don’t stay with him if you don’t love him. Stop cheating on him and leave him. If you are living with him, please, please move back home with your parents (or other trusted relatives) right away. I wish you so much luck, girl.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about a month ago.  Even though I know he’s struggling with the break up, and it’s no walk in the park for me either, we’ve been on pretty good terms.  We chat a few times a week and haven’t fought since the break up.  But I have a favor to ask of him, and I know it’s gonna hurt him because he’ll think I don’t trust him.  I need him to erase the pictures I sent him while we were dating.  It was long distance and I know it was dumb to take the pictures in the first place, but now they’re there, and he has them.

Is there a waiting period for this kind of thing?  It’s not like he’s the kind of guy to send them out to the internet in a fit of bitter rage, even if he was bitter or on less than good terms with me right now.  Even so, eventually, they’ve gotta go.  I’m pretty sure he’ll take offense, and ask why I trusted him with them before and not now (if only because erasing them will be a sign that we’re done for good – which we are).  What do I tell him?  What do I do if he refuses to erase them?

Model Ex

Dear Model Ex,

This is actually a really tough one. Not because it’s tragic or anything, but, like–well, what do you do?

Oh, but that’s my job. So, here goes:

Since you two are on good terms, I do think it’s likely that he’ll be willing to erase them–or, more likely, willing to tell you he’s erasing them. So I guess that’s the real issue, right? How do you know they’re actually gone?

There is, inevitably, this little issue of trust, right? I mean, you yourself think his feelings will be hurt when you ask him to erase them because it would mean you don’t trust him. And there’s something to that. I mean, you did give him the pictures. That means they’re his now.

HOWEVER, I am totally on your side on this one. Even though you gave them to him, you did so while you were in a relationship, to be used as, er, romantic materials while you two were still together. Now that you are not together, Tuffy thinks that makes the contract null and void. If you no longer wish for him to have those pictures now that you don’t have the same relationship, then you should have the right to take them back.

The only problem is, nothing ever disappears from the Internet.

Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Once you take the sexy time pictures and set them free unto the web–well, that’s that. You lose control. Model Ex’s tale could easily be a cautionary one. Fortunately, Model Ex, you’re still on good terms with this guy, so hopefully you’ll have a happy ending (and all the creepsters on the Internet won’t).

So Tuffy’s got this crazy little idea that you may or may not like. Think of it as a sort of funeral for your relationship. Make a plan to meet up with this guy as soon as you can (I know you’re long distance) and have a good, long chat about your relationship and the breakup. Some upsetting stuff might come up, but hopefully it’ll just be a feel-good kind of deal, and either way it’s important closure. As a final act of closure, the two of you can delete those photos together. It’ll be symbolic and crap. No, but really, it’ll be the two of you saying: this was great but now it’s come to an end.

Annnd hopefully he hasn’t backed them up.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

First she comes out against gay marriage. Fine. She can have her opinions – we’re totally in support of that. But then we find out her boobs were purchased for her by the Miss California people. And then she wanted to milk her D-List fame a little more by starting a movement against gay marriage nationally. Oh, and now there are nudey photos circulating the web.

I normally tend to spend my time bashing people in the limelight because it is the only thing that makes me feel good without going directly to my ass (like my BFF, the McFlurry), but I’m already eating a McFlurry today, so I’m feelin groovy. And optimistic. And charitable.

So I am going to go out on a limb here and try to find some good in this Miss California sh*tshow. Namely, the lessons we can take away from it. Because she may not be the brightest bulb (“I love to live in a country where you can choose normal marriage or opposite marriage…”), but her dumb mistakes are worth learning from.

1. Don’t do pageants: They won’t catapult you to the fame you’d like them to (because 3 people watch them), and most Americans really don’t care or respect the women who take part in them. You are better off competing on Rock of Love (just look at Daisy!) than to spend thousands of dollars on hair, makeup, dresses (and boobs) for a pageant.

2. Stay Out of the Spotlight: I have longed to be famous since I made the crowd LOL during the candle lighting at my Bat Mitzvah. Seeing how the media has treated Ms. Prejean, though, I am beginning to have second thoughts. There are a lot of skeletons in my closet (and on my Google thread) that would be quickly exposed by the hundreds of enemies I have made in my 20-ish years on this planet. And don’t even get me started on the embarrassing photos. Let’s just say that life is a whole lot simpler when no one knows or cares enough about you to get the world to hate you.

3. Giant Fake Diamond Encrused Earrings Are Not Cute: Really, it’s just too much. Unless you are Flava Flav.

4. Stop Taking Naked Photos, PEOPLE: I would understand if Ms. California had taken some sexy shots in her early years to send to some thick-necked, tattooed boyfriend (because that is the kind of guy I imagine she’d like), but this princess took these knowing she’d be competing to represent her state in front of the entire country. Ok, so the 3 people who actually care. Anyways, the photo (and soon to be multiple photos) circulating the web is just further proof that no cameras should be present when nips, booty and other lady parts are exposed. That sh*t will get passed around, people (especially if you decide not to learn lessons #1 and #2), and everyone will finally know if your carpet matches your drapes.

5.  Don’t Piss off the Gay People: Those fabulous fashionistas can make or break you. You piss them off and you. are. dunzo.

I raise my empty McFlurry cup to you, Miss California, for teaching me what many other hot mess celebrities before you never could!

Because 2008 isn’t just the summer of expensive corn and Obama-rama, it’s also the summer of TMI. Over-sharing has become a form of communication for our generation; from blogging about bad dates, to blogging about our self-indulgent issues, to blogging purely to become famous. No matter who we are, we can become stars overnight by uploading naked photos, name-dropping about a wild party, or simply having an ounce of literary ability and a snarky way with words.

By late July, 2008, the percent of people in the US who haven’t seen a celebrity vajayjay flash or heard someone say, “dude, I’m gonna blog about this!” is monumentally small, and it seems like every day a new gossip or 24 hour news site pops up. However, amidst the clattering of fingers on keyboards and snapping of flashbulbs, I can’t help but wonder if this constant need to be seen and heard is actually doing us any good.

Is all this over-sharing about our drug, drink, and sexual exploits really helping women cultivate a strong, intelligent persona? Do we feel more empowered now that Britney, Lindsay, and Paris have made trashy the new black? Are our lives more complete now that we know what David Beckham had for breakfast?

These aren’t rhetorical questions. As a twenty-something myself, I really want to know:

In this age of over-sharing, are you confident about yourself and your image? Are you proud of how we as women have represented ourselves in the media?

Vote in our poll, and write in our comments — this is your chance to tell the world exactly how you feel.

According to a “real” Gchat between Lohan and a celebslam.com owner, the photos were stolen from her computer by a hacker who left a file on her desktop letting her know of his dirty deed. The pre-rehab pics are naked photos of Lindsay taken by ex-boy Calum Best.

In the Gchat, she warns CelebSlam editor Nick that her lawyers have already been notified of the missing pics. Nick notes at the bottom of the chat that Lohan’s Gmail address is real and is not the email address released to the public earlier in the year.

I’m not sure why Lindsay is so heated about the pics; doesn’t she remember America seeing her Poonan when the paps snapped her photo sans undies? It’s really nothing we haven’t seen before.

But to the hacker who stole the pics, I say thanks. Not that I want to see Lindsay’s lady bits again, but celebrity news has gotten a little boring since LiLo got sober. It’s good she’s still sticking to her new post-alky life-plan (reportedly only drinking water and Red Bull at Pure Nightclub in Vegas) but a little Lindsay drama is sometimes just what a girl needs.

So welcome back, Lindsay. Welcome Back.