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[Lead image via TMZ]

What is my favorite thing about both my roommates going out of town for the weekend? Being naked. Nothing feels better. Oh, I want a glass of water? No, I won’t put on pants for that. Don’t get me wrong, I like fashion as much as the next girl, but my days and nights would be so much easier if I never had to think about clothing again. I don’t like the time (and sometimes the agony) it takes to plan out an outfit, I don’t like that my bra always shifts to the right, and I HATE when I get a wedgie. Living in New York City means never having an opportunity to inconspicuously pull out a wedgie. It’s a real problem. If I could, I’d go commando in nothing but a sundress all the time. I’m not saying to be irresponsible about it! There are a great number of things you can’t do when you’re going fancy free in a dress or skirt–things that would be painful and shameful. Don’t worry, I made you a list. Do not partake in the following activities, and you can enjoy a easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl day in the sun.

initiating the gallery...

There are a few unspoken rules that make it acceptable for you see your best friend’s (or guy friend’s) bare ass in certain situations: a dare, a (drunken) hookup, a music festival, or on amateur night at a strip bar.

But in the shower? That might be going a little too far, and one Green Mountain College student agrees. Jennifer Weiler, a Green Mountain freshman, is suing her school for a lack of girls-only bathrooms. And homegirl’s making a pretty good case. I mean, I can count on about three fingers the amount of people I know who would feel comfortable stripping down and jumping in the shower with strangers and hall-mates of the male persuasion. Especially if nothing sexual was being followed.

Some say, “Don’t knock it till you try it,” but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to try showering with my R.A. to know it’s not going to go down well.

What if you’re having a fat day (or year)? Even the most perfect looking person still has the occasional insecure moment about his or her body. And even if you don’t, you might not want that random dude from down the hall knowing about the mole on your left butt cheek.

Personal Maintenance. Seeing a guy shave his face is something I find adorable. However, I don’t think I’d want a guy watching me shave my legs in the sink or worse, listen in as I’m doing some mowing downtown.

The Creep Factor. Guys are handsome creatures and I bet there are some you wouldn’t mind being totally naked in front of. Yet, there are some guys known to be extremely don’t-take-no-for-an-answer-no-thanks-I-don’t-want-you-to-buy-me-that-drink CREEPY. Put them in the shower situation and we have a recipe for trouble. The wandering eyes may possibly turn into wandering hands and then you’re avoiding showers all semester. OK, so maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but being naked in front of someone you have a gut instinct to run away from isn’t exactly SAFE-CITY.

Number Two. Besides the showering issue, sometimes that cafeteria food just doesn’t sit well. And running to the bathroom to relieve yourself becomes a pretty awkward situation when the guy from your History class is sitting in the stall next door reading the sports section. And he recognizes your feet.

Boys smell. Call me immature, but it’s true.  Somehow, guys find humor in farting on each other and things of the sort. Being caught in a fart battle when all you want to do is wash your hands is not my idea of a fun time.  That’s why, in public places, they have a room reserved just for the smelly and weird interests of guys. It’s called the “Men’s Room.”

When you’re living in a dorm, there is very little privacy. Sometimes the only alone time you get is standing under the hot water (in your flip flops) in the shower. Is it so wrong that you’d like to do that without fear that you might come face to face with a naked guy?

Wednesdays are rough. Sure, you are halfway through the week, but you still have two more loooong days before the weekend. Barf.

Speaking of barf, maybe we shouldn’t have taken part in Tequila Tuesdays last night? There is never an excuse for waking up fully clothed clutching a 2 liter bottle of Fresca and an empty pizza box (WTF?), but especially not on a Wednesday morning.

Anyways, in order to get you through the hardest day of the week we thought we’d play a little game of “Would You Rather?” Because what is more fun than pondering life’s most random conundrums?

So, here we go. Choose your answer and explain why in the comments section below!

Would you rather have to go about college life normally for a day except that you’re naked OR retake all of the tests you took in your worst class (without having any time to study) because your Prof lost the grades?

With Halloween on the way, thing are getting sexed up, so it only seems right that we get down to discussing the bare minimum of sexy coverings – lingerie.

On one side, practically every woman I know owns at least a couple of sets of racy underpinnings, and there’s a good reason for it. Completely aside from the obvious “look sexy for sex” aspect of lingerie (let’s face it, if clothes are coming off, guys care less about the undies than what’s under them) there’s a certain mental boost that comes from wearing pretty things – even if no one else gets to see them. Like putting on a great set of heels, the right underwear can change your mood, maybe even make you want to be ballsier/flirtier/whateverer and pump up your game. And in turn, that feeling can lead to all sorts of good things, including sex.

Another bonus on the lingerie side is that brands like Victoria’s Secret and websites like figleaves have brought sexy (and wearable) lingerie into reasonable prices, so now we can all afford to have a little more “badda-bing” in our lives.  And yeah, the average guy probably couldn’t tell La Perla from Fruit of the Loom, but pretty underthings are still probably going to get his heart pounding better than the rose-printed cotton ones your grandma bought you in high school. When you look sexy, you feel sexy, and do any of us really wake up in the morning and say “I just wish I weren’t so damn sexy!” (well, maybe on a good day).

But, there are a lot of downsides to lingerie too. There’s still a pretty big disconnect between the sexy stuff and stuff you can really wear – with all the bumps and lacy bits, it almost inevitably shows under your clothes – not to mention all of the itchy-itchy, pokey-pokey. And, again like shoes, despite the meager amount of fabric involved, the really good stuff is nigh unreachable for those of us on a student budget. More than all of that though, are the implications from lingerie. For the sake of time, I’m going to ignore the “lingerie is sexist” part of the argument; it’s pretty easy to figure out and has been made other places. To me, the biggest problem comes from the lingerie industry itself – an industry that in many ways is more “size-ist” than any other segment of fashion.

I have long heard my chesty friends lament about how there just aren’t pretty bras made in their sizes, or how those that are don’t give them what they need in the support and comfort category. Meanwhile, those of us whose cups do not runneth over are faced with an overwhelming quantity of push-ups and cup additions that practically scream “you’re boobs aren’t big enough!” And all of the really high end stuff? Most of it seems to be made for girls who have so little body fat, they could practically go bra-less anyway.

What do you say? Is lingerie just the little ego boost you need? Or will you be sticking to the flesh toned undies that keep you in place and in comfort?

I’m a stripper.

Well, not really, but I have done a good number of amateur nights. I’ve danced on stage naked for strangers, swung around the pole, and even given private dances. I was incredibly nervous my first time, but realized quickly that it was EASY and exhilarating.

I thought this week I would share some tips with you guys on how to give the perfect striptease – I promise it’s easier than you think! Even more, it’s fun and definitely something new and exciting for you and your partner to share. He’ll love seeing you in a sexy new light and you’ll love the power you have to turn him to putty in your hands.

Pick Music Your Comfortable With
Pick a song you know and make sure it’s something you’re comfortable moving to. You don’t have to be a good dancer to give a good strip tease, you just have to be comfortably with whatever you’re doing. If you’re unsure of  your dance moves, pick something slow. If you love to bump and grind, pick something with a faster pace. The song choice doesn’t matter; it’s how you move with it that does.

Take Your Time
The most important component of a strip-tease is the stripping; once all your clothes are off you’re just dancing around naked (your boyfriend will probably love it, but you’ll feel awkward). Take your time removing each item, and wear clothes with buttons or zippers that you can undo slowly…and without awkwardly pulling them over your head.

Be Sensual
Like I said before, you don’t have to be a good dancer to give a good strip tease. Move slowly and sensually. It’s corny but I have to say it anyway: make love to the music. Look like YOU’RE the one getting sexual pleasure from the dance, not whoever is watching you.

Be Interactive
Make eye contact. Give a sexy smile. Play with your partner’s hair or clothing. Sit in their lap. Basically, make your audience part of the experience.

Have Fun
One night I was on stage swinging my legs around and my shoe flung off. Mortifying, right? I kept my cool and laughed it off, joked about it to the few guys who saw, and ended up making even more tips. I assume most of you will probably be dancing for a special someone rather than a group a strangers, so it should be even easier to laugh off any act of clumsiness.

Keep Clean
Believe it or not, the shoe incident wasn’t the most embarrassing stripping experience I’ve ever had. Once I was on stage and realized I had bits of toilet paper stuck in my naughty-bits. I was MORTIFIED and still had to finish my set. Since then I’ve never gone on stage before examining the area thoroughly and I suggest you do the same.

Have a Drink
It’s common knowledge that you feel a little less inhibited when there’s some liquid courage in your system. If you’re extremely nervous or uncomfortable, have a drink before your man arrives. But only a drink; getting woozy and face-planting between his legs isn’t the sexiest part of a striptease.

There you have it, a few simple steps to the perfect striptease. And who knows, if you enjoy it maybe I’ll see you at amateur night some time!

Why, you ask?  Oh, so many reasons.  One of the most important is that the dorms on my campus are chronically overheated and I come from a climate very similar to that of a tundra.  I run hot, as the saying goes.  Therefore, naked time is necessary.  However, after a couple years of stripping down to do my homework or whatever else I felt like doing, I’ve gotten used to it.  In fact, I highly recommend nudity.  Whether you have your naked time in solitude or with a friend, that’s up to you…

Here are some (non-creepy) reasons to be naked.  Enjoy:

Comfort – Fashion can be restricting.  There are days (especially in this hazy, hot summer) where the idea of waking up and putting on an outfit seems like torture.  More layers in 100 degree heat??  Absurd.  Might as well stay home and be naked.  This allows for temperature control, as well.  Plus, I guarantee you’ll not have a better night’s sleep than when you sleep naked.

Aerodynamics - Every sport (except perhaps curling and a couple of others) has a uniform specifically designed to be more aerodynamic.  The faster you are, the more you win.  Well, you can’t beat nudity for aerodynamics.  There’s no uniform closer to the skin than…skin.  Now if only professional athletes such as swimmers started competing this way (I’m talking to you, Michael Phelps)…

Attention - Going to the club?  Want some free drinks?  We all know that a little well-timed cleavage will score some free drinks.  What about nudity?  If we ignore laws about indecent exposure, clubs would be the perfect place to be naked.  You’d get loads of male attention (well, you’d get everyone’s attention, let’s not lie) and you wouldn’t be sweating your make-up off after the third song of shakin’ your booty.  Win.

Mental Health – This one is actually serious.  When you don’t have to worry about external trappings, your mind is free to relax and wander to places it may not have previously been free to go.  You fall asleep faster when you’re not thinking about how your shirt is all twisted up and your shorts are riding a bit too high (next stop, Wedgie Town).  Even homework seems to flow faster (trust me, I’ve tried this and homework is definitely easier and more fun when you’re naked. Don’t ask me why).

Saves Money – More naked time = less clothing to buy.  Enough said.

Healthier - Summer or winter, you sweat more when you wear clothes.  They restrict the flow of air to your skin and bacteria can quickly build up in certain places.  So, if you remove the clothes, then you’ll have less of a chance of rashes and skin infections.   Rashes + Skin Infections = Not Sexy.  It’s a scientific fact, my friends.

Diet - I don’t know about you, but any sight of my naked body makes me vow never to eat carbs again.  If I was naked more often, then I might actually follow through on that promise.  Have you ever tried eating while naked?  It’s awkward and seems wrong on some level.  I’m sure if I spent more time nude, I’d be rocking the best diet ever.  Anyways, I’m pretty sure McDonald’s has that No Shirt – No Shoes- No Service rule.  See?  The diet is already effective.

Leonardo DiCaprio.

The man is smoldering on the red carpet…and pretty much everywhere else you find him with clothes on.  However, the beach (and we’re not talking the movie)?  Leo is a bit heavy on the man boobs and whatnot.  He should stick to the jeans + tee shirt rule at the very least.

Daniel Radcliff

Everyone’s favorite wizard is a bonafide cutie patootie.  He’s got the eyes, the hair, the smile, and the accent to pull any girl he likes – but watch out!  The minute Daniel strips down, you better put on some shades because that kid is paler than I am.  Yes, he’s got a pretty sweet body from all those nude plays and Harry Potter fight sequences, but you won’t be able to see it beyond the glare his freakishly white skin produces.

Chris Noth

Oh, Mr. Big.  Just like Carrie, I have a love/hate relationship with you.  I love when you wear deliciously tailored suits and crack a smug smile or two.  I hate when you take your clothes off and obliterate any sexy time imaginings I may have been having about you.  Put the gut away – you look too sexy in clothes to be seen without any.

Pierce Brosnan

James Bond = Sex.  That’s just the way it goes.  Any 007 is pure sex walking around in a Gucci suit or whatever he feels like pulling off at that moment.  They can wear anything and I’ll be all over it (well, not literally…stupid restraining orders).  When they wear nothing, even better – oh wait, no.  Not true.  Throw a shirt over that thick mass of gray chest hair, please, Pierce.

Steven Tyler

As a rock legend, Steven Tyler has been workin’ it for decades.  He’s the original hipster, rolling with the skinny  jeans and scarves.  He represents the epitome of rock and roll and all the strange and fascinating fashion choices that come with that title.  He’s also really skinny and kind of scary looking without any clothes on.  Really scary.  The word “skeletor” comes to mind.

Russell Crowe

I love my gladiator sandals, but a real gladiator…now that I could get on board with.  Who didn’t want to be locked up with Russell Crowe, wearing a toga and some sweet sandals?  The man is cut…sort of.  Well, he was, anyway.  Now he’s in need of some serious Man Spanxx and clothing at all times.  And even he thinks so – he won’t be seen without a shirt anywhere. Way to be considerate, Russy.

Val Kilmer

If you can make a suit of black spandex, latex, and a cape look good (especially when you throw a pair of bat ears on top), then you deserve the title of “sexy pants.”  Val Kilmer has shown us over and over again why we adore him.  Unfortunately, when he goes out without his clothes on, he also gives us reason to team up with The Riddler to take him down.

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(A girl and her boyfriend at a large restaurant table.)

Girl: He’s really wonderful. He doesn’t speak a lot of English, though. Right, honey? Not so much English?

Boyfriend: *shrug, smile of confusion*

(Sad girl, on the phone.)

Girl: I know. I should really stop dating boys when I realize they’re evil overlords.

(A bunch of people sitting around a campfire.)

Girl 1: Marshmallows are kinda gross, when you think about it.

Girl 2: I think it’s a good kind of gross. Like tiny, edible fat people.

(A cell phone is ringing.)

Girl (answering phone): I’m running circles around you! Say goodbye to your kneecaps, chucklehead!

(Boy, girl, sitting on couches.)

Boy: And what’s really great about Michigan is that you can always take a train from Hartford to Chicago.

Girl: I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?

(In a deserted parking lot at 2 a.m., a guy pokes his head out of a car.)

Guy: Hey… hey! Are you guys eating Taco Bell, too?

(Gym employee greeting a student.)

Employee: All right! The gym! Are you ready to kick some ass?

Student: Um, sorry? Do you need my ID?

Employee: You gotta kick ass, bro!

Student: I don’t know. Sorry.

Employee: Okay, fine, let me see your ID. Go do pilates or whatever.

(Couple at a restaurant.)

Waiter: What can I get you started with?

Guy: Could I just have the bruschetta?

Girl: I’m fine. I don’t eat. I mean, I’m not hungry.

(Two guys in an office.)

Guy 1: Okay. Joke. What’s the most important part of comedy?

Guy 2: Uh, I don’t -

Guy 1: *kicks the guy hard in the shins*

(Two girls, at a lunch table, with sandwiches.)

Girl 1: So… what do you think?

Girl 2 (chewing sandwich): Oh my god.

Girl 1: Teddy Grahams, right?

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Yeah, it’ll be fine, you guys can come over. My dad’s drinking again.

(Two girls, planning… something.)

Girl 1: I think we can do it. We’ll just have to move the ducks.

Girl 2: God. Your brother is such a jerk.

(A couple yelling from across a pond.)

Girl: CAN YOU ALL PLEASE STOP FISHING? I’M TRYING TO GET NAKED IN NATURE!

There are few topics in a relationship that cause more controversy than strip clubs. Many of us can’t understand why our man would need to watch some other girl strip it off and shake her ass in his face when he can have our naked ass in his face whenever he wants it (for free, I might add).  And isn’t watching some other girl get naked a form of cheating? He wouldn’t like it if I let some random dude come over and rub his crotch in (or on) my face for $5.

So why do guys do it? And what is the appeal of having some girl rub her boobs on him if he has to stick a few bucks in her panties to do so? I haven’t spent much time in strip clubs, so I turned to someone who does. Frequently. And loves it.

Here is the strip club lowdown from a dude who knows it (very) well.