I’ve heard the woes from people with cup sizes that are hard to manage. I understand; nobody wants the back pain or the difficulty finding clothes that fit. I, on the other hand, am on the other end of the spectrum. I hit puberty early, was a head taller than everyone in my class for a while, but never got to enjoy the other benefits of those raging hormones. You know…like, breasts.

My mother continually assures me that I’m lucky. “Dresses fit you so well,” she tells me. That’s easy for her to say; I imagine most mothers, deep down, want to dress their daughters in conservative dresses that leave a lot to the imagination, but leave me looking like I’m wearing a sack on top.

Forget showing off cleavage; it’s pretty hard when you barely have cleavage. I don’t mind looking nice in the occasional baggy shirt for a job interview, but how is a flat-chested girl supposed to look Hott? Read More »

Bye, Bye, Bye Lou Pearlman!

Oh, to be John Mayer’s camera.

I really think teenagers are getting dumber by the minute–er, MySpace

Ali Lohan: 14 going on 40

It’s summertime: learn how to apply bronzer

I take back all earlier judgement: I kind of dig Natalie Portman and her boo

Libertarian Ocean Colonies are totally the new Facebook

Heidi and Spencer’s PDA and gender-stereotyping outfits

Don’t forget to call Grandma–it’s Sinatra Day!

Beyonce is too famous for church or modesty

Ice, Ice Baby…for that black eye I just gave you

Katie Couric signs deal with The Goodbye Show

Nobody loves Joanie

Finding off-campus housing

Why is Natalie Portman so awesome?

Paris Hilton is not my ideal BFF

Big Boi goes from billboard to ballet

Dear Jonas Brothers: will you marry me?…Any of you three will do.

How to stay a virgin at college

Does a threesome ruin a relationship?

Natalie Portman is dating the Bearded Lady

Harry Potter’s “hairy potter” is coming to Broadway!

Whateva… I love me some Jason Castro

It’s 2008: even a computer will reject you

How to get rid of a one night stand

As a graduation present, I want to visit SPACE!

Why wouldn‘t MTV make a reality show about high school newspapers?

50 greatest comedy sketches of all time

I’m feeling pretty good about society

Looking for a new diet?

Let me just start out by saying that I didn’t care for the movie Juno. It got progressively better towards the end, yes, but for much of the movie, the writing was absolutely appalling. After the exchange with the convenience store clerk at the beginning of the film, I had to get an usher to help me find my eyes because they had rolled clear out of my head. Juno is hip, Diablo, I get it, please stop beating me over the head with those million dollar shoes you didn’t end up wearing.

That being said, her writing isn’t why I dislike Diablo Cody as a whole. It’s also not her vomitously rebel-cutsie name, although it does make me cringe a little bit every time I hear it. Like when it was announced at the Oscars. For winning best screenplay.

Admittedly, my dislike is partially rooted in that Cody reminds of the girl who is always at the coffee shop, reading Kurt Vonnegut and making me feel intensely uncool. “That girl” also has all these esoteric tattoos and an inexplicable haircut that I would never grow the balls to attempt. Cody seems a little more approachable than “that girl”, however, which is a point in her favor. Read More »

• A pair of married strippers are the latest predators to get busted on myspace.

• Scarlett Johannson ‘Waits’ till May to release new cover album.

• Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. Tom Cruise talks about his beliefs.

• Coachella is going East Coast.

• How to land a guy in 30 days.

• Everyone hates Jessica Simpson.

• Natalie Portman loves cruelty-free shoes.

It’s time for Hollywood to take out the trash.

You know what I’m talking about– Lindsay, Paris, Britney, Nicole, Nicole’s unborn baby, Nicole’s ugly boyfriend, and dare I say…Christina Aguilera. Always rubbed me the wrong way, that one.

H-town is seeming more and more like a ghost town these days with its little coke-infused starlets escaping the summer grit of the city for rehab.

Rehab: it’s the new Hamptons!

But, who is there to look to now? Who will inform us, mere plebes, of fashion trends we cannot afford and only imitate feebly by shopping at Forever 21? Who will entertain us while we slave away at our precariously filing – centric summertime internships? Have we no heroes anymore? No inspiration?

I try to think of understudies for Lilo & Co, but the best I can do is a list of the boring and banal: Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson. Ugh. Stars– they really are just like us. Meaning? Boring. Read More »

Sometimes when people try to explain personalities based on certain life choices, like pizza topping, they are totally off base.

David Zinczenko’s article qualifies personalities by a list of pretty straightforward (and hot) celebs. Needless to say, I was pretty surprised by the answers these guys gave when asked which starlet they had the hots for. Sure, you could put the celebs into a category and try to analyze the guys via David’s perspective. But what I discovered was much, much more fascinating than what any guy could tell me about what a man’s celebrity crush reveals.

Based on my findings, guys like celebrities who are pretty damn normal. Yes, perhaps these girls are a bit hotter, a bit fitter and with a bit A LOT more money. But come on, Lacey Chabert, Michelle Trachtenberg, Natalie Portman, Emma Watson, Carrie Underwood and Larissa Oleynik (aka Alex Mack)?

I know. I was astounded as well. Yes, these girls are all amazing actresses or singers, but for the most part all of them are (in many ways) a lot like you and I. Read More »

Not only is Ellen Degeneres f*cking funny, but she has single-handedly inspired thousands of women in media to come out of the closet and still prove powerful.

AfterEllen.com (named after Ellen’s brave decision to come out on her popular sitcom, before the show was unfairly cancelled) is a website where same-sex oriented women can go to blog, meet, share and feel accepted.

AfterEllen has created a list of the hottest women in showbiz. What makes this list different from, let’s say, , is that it laughs in the face of the Lohan (#1 on Maxim and #79 on AfterEllen) and other stereotypical hotties.

Instead, women like Tina Fey, America Ferrera and Queen Latifah are considered sexy.

Even though I’m a straight female, I think this is totally empowering. The women on this list just seem to have more to offer – talent, brains AND a physical attractiveness. That’s a lot more than the typical hussies with t*ts and ass have to say, which is….well, not much at all.

Girl Power

(Photos of the Top 20 after the jump) Read More »

There’s nothing more annoying than when celebrities complain about their hard-knock lives.

In this month’s issue of Elle magazine, People.com reports that Jessica Biel opens up about the struggles of being hot in today’s Hollywood. Gag me.

In the article, Jessica says, “Parts that I want aren’t going to me. Like “The Other Boleyn Girl” with Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. I don’t want to say there’s nothing I love that I can’t have. But there’s still the occasional script that the director doesn’t want to see you for. They want that top tier of girls.”

Biel was named “Sexiest Woman Alive” by Esquire magazine and said, “I thought the Esquire cover was going to be really positive for my career. But it wasn’t, really. [One director told me] ‘I’m not looking for the sexiest woman; I’m looking for the girl next door.’”

Here is the photograph that appears next to the new Elle article. Is it just me, or does this scream contradiction?

I really feel for you, Jess. You’re more than just the pretty face and killer body everyone associates with you as an actress. By the way, here she is, not exploiting her sexiness. And here she is again. And again. Read More »