Just when you think everything is fine on the Upper East Side those Archibalds toss some dude in the water and really throw you for a loop. And, of course, Vanessa is there to capture the entire thing on tape.

Scandalous!

Last night’s Gossip Girl was full of all sorts of scandal. From the twisted, convoluted and sorta hard to follow situation behind Tripp Vanderbilt’s campaign (really? His wife somehow orchestrated that whole thing??) to Blair’s new super-old-looking-call-girl of a BFF, it was a roller coaster of an episode.

But let’s start at the core of it all: Blair and Serena’s waning friendship. While these two are far hotter/richer/better dressers than I could ever be, I really connected to their situation. I’ve been there and I know what it’s like to be on the outs with a very old friend. On the one hand, you wanna make up and move on out of respect for your long history together. But on the other, who you are at 18-years-old is not who you were at 12 and maybe the new people you’ve both become weren’t meant to be friends.

So what do you do? Read More »

That shapeless "dress" is what you get for lying to Dan!

I think we can all agree that it’s not nearly as fun watching Vanessa Abrams be a bitch as it is watching Blair Waldorf.  Mostly because Blair doesn’t normally get bogged down by remorse…at least not right away.

In an episode all about playing games, some people just didn’t know when to stop.  Take Vanessa being even more of a home-wrecker than usual.  As I watched her almost mess up the blossoming love between Dan and Olivia, all I could think about was how the dress that the wardrobe people put her in at the end of the episode was obviously punishment for her being selfish.  And my next thought: when did giving a speech at a Parents’ Weekend dinner become so damn important?

But as Vanessa, Blair, (and Olivia, though unbeknownst to her) battled it out for the right to stand atop the flowery podium at Parents’ Weekend, we saw too many claws come out. Perfectly manicured claws, mind you, but sharp claws nonetheless. Yeah, Vanessa can get off the hook quickly for what she almost did to Dan and Olivia – those Humphrey’s are incredibly forgiving people – but I can’t say the same for Blair and Chuck. Make him kiss a guy (which, by the way, was incredibly hot)? Fine. But lie to him and manipulate him to get what you want?

No one manipulates Chuck Bass. Not even Blair.

And the same goes for Serena, which Nate Archibald may find out the hard way. Before I get into this little Rounders-meets-Gossip-Girl storyline, I’d like to take a moment to welcome Nate back to the show. For the past 5 episodes he’s taken a backseat with Bree Buckley and we haven’t seen much of his cuteness. I know he wasn’t pregenant/post pregnant like Lily Bass, so I wonder what was keeping him from the screen? Meh, it doesn’t matter; he’s back….and falling in line with the family once again. Read More »

Serena Van der Woodsen is back in the tabloids, Blair and Chuck are still smooching, and Nate’s dating the family enemy?

Sounds like we’re setting up for a season full of OMFG!

In case you’ve just begun watching (in which case you have got to go back and rent the first two seasons so you don’t miss out on a crucial aspect of pop culture), here’s a quick rundown of life on the Upper East Side to catch you up: Summer in the Hamptons is over and the Humphrey family has moved from their loft in Brooklyn to the Lily Van der Woodsen palace of luxury. Serena has just returned from a summer of trying to get her father’s attention, a feat that apparently is only possible by showing her face (and her chest) in every magazine east of New York City. After a summer spent sexing the gorgeous Carter Basin and trying to find Daddy Dearest, Serena is back in New York keeping more secrets and trying to keep Carter from spilling the beans.

Of course, the game where Chuck pretends to cheat on Blair with some blonde bimbo scared us all sh*tless. After last season’s cry-worthy finale, no one is ready for Chuck Bass to return to his bad boy ways. While we all get a kick out of Blair putting a dumb blonde in her place, soon the games end and when the former playboy starts using phrases like “I’m not Chuck Bass without you” and “Let’s stay in tonight.” It’s impossible not to swoon. I know I’m not the only one hoping that two totally messed up people can make love work out in the real world.

Storyline I’m most looking forward to for this season: Dan and Lily’s supposedly dead son is in New York, in possession of his birth certificate, and biding his time until he reveals his true identity. Meanwhile, he’s spending his time cozying up to Vanessa, who is never going to forgive this boy when she finds out that he is Dan Humphrey’s half brother. I mean, can the girl get any more tangled in that family’s drama? Read More »

"I'm sorry I tried to ruin your life to get onto Page 6"

After a two-week hiatus (WTF, CW?) Gossip Girl returned last night. I don’t know if I can handle any more breaks, but OMG, was it worth the wait!  As the weather changes outside, so are our friends from the Upper East Side.

First, let me start by saying how happy I was to see Cyrus again!  That little bald nugget of a stepdad is one of those gems (like Dorota) that make Gossip Girl sparkle.  Especially since Dorota was off falling in love and Vanessa was MIA, too!   She finally gets a good storyline, AND a backbone, and suddenly she’s nowhere to be seen. Was that delicious plotline with her and Chuck just a tease? WAS IT?

And with Rufus deciding to close down the art gallery, where is she gonna brew her coffee? What on earth is going to happen to V?

Also, can I just say that I am secretly really happy that the economy is affecting GG, though a bit peeved that it was the Humphrey’s that got crapped on. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of wealthy people out there who were hit hard in this recession, so why is it the “poor” Brooklyn family that gets it? And, being that they are in a bit of financial ruin, why would Rufus care about Dan getting a job? And why doesn’t my dad feel that way? But secretly Dan did get a job, and how cute did he look in that uniform?  Presh. Read More »

Welcome freakin’ back, Gossip Girl! I officially screamed at my television last night. Bring on the juicy.

Let me say this: I continue to have a bitter distaste for Dan, and Chuck remains (by far) my total fave. AND Lily gained some cool points tonight too. If you missed it, stop reading now, turn on your DVR, and watch. And if you watched, feel free to comment on your favorite part of last night’s stellar ep.

The show started with the usual Yale bullsh*t. Blah blah blah, aren’t they in yet, already? No, they aren’t. And there’s a certain new, young, hot teacher who is going to rock everyone’s world. Anybody else think it’s weird that Serena instantly becomes her new Shakespeare teacher’s bff? I mean, I had teachers I was tight with, but not to this degree. And, a note to Ms. Carr, never tell your students it’s your first salaried gig. That’s just asking for it.

As the Yale-shizz unravels, Serena laments to Dan that she is afraid that she’ll get into Yale, and Blair won’t. Presumptuous? Or foreshadowing?

This week’s weekly party is the opera gala. Seriously? That’s not nearly as exciting as the white party. But I suppose it’ll do, since Jack has already thrown Chuck’s dead father into the mix. We all know that Chuck was had by Jack last week, but is he going to take that? Hell. No.  And you gotta love Lily in this ep for making it happen. Read More »

Well, technically, just because Dan and Serena share a sibling, it doesn’t mean that they share DNA. But the true winning line from tonight’s GG episode, “Share me those expressive eyebrows. I can’t wait ’til you get Botox,” was too long to fit in this column’s title.

The mysterious half-brother brought the cast on quite the roller-coaster this week, and it seems that Gossip Girl has achieved Mafia status, as she has the power to order a “hit” on Dan Humphrey. Instead of sleeping with the fishes, however, Dan merely has to deal with the humiliation of the entire school learning about his hankering for tuna. Meh.

As usual, the Bass family stole the show tonight, and Uncle Jack is truly an evil, despicable human being. Since Blair’s had a change of heart, what with coddling the grieving Chuckster and all, we need a new villain that we absolutely love to hate, and Jack sure makes a splash after, what? Two episodes?

Not only does Old Man River have a giant boner for the totally illegal Blair (everyone who commented on the ‘New Years’ references last week wins ten points), but he’s also lusting for a stake in Bass Enterprises, which, much to everyone’s surprise, has just been left to Chuck Bass. What? These minors can drink their faces off, ride around in limos, globetrot for the weekend, but they can’t run billion-dollar companies? Read More »

Last night’s long-anticipated return of Gossip Girl featured a new year, new relationships, new secrets, and an unusually large amount of comic relief.

Jenny’s resolution, apparently, was to finish high school…but she’s dropped the “Little J” business and makes it her goal to save Nelly from Blair’s Queen Bee squad. She recruits Eric and Nelly to take over the “cool” table, and, since Blair’s having a Bass-induced breakdown, J manages to win the upper hand. Ironically, when Nelly realizes that Jenny has no hope of stealing Blair’s crown, she runs back to the popular kids. Ha, ha, ha. What satire!

Meanwhile, the writers took advantage of GG’s break to make a clean break from Serena’s art-beau, Aaron, who doesn’t even get a sappy break-up scene. (Thank God.) Instead, it seems that S. just flat out left him in Buenos Aires when she realized that Lily and Rufus weren’t shacking up and that she could bang Dan without feeling incestuous. Rufus, of course, is less than happy to find Serena and Dan blissfully happy. Remember last month’s cliffhanger? “Was it a boy or a girl?” We find out that it was a boy, and that Lily put him up for adoption and relinquished her rights to ever search for him, much to Rufus’s dismay.

Chuck, still wallowing in the aftermath of his father’s untimely death, has become a zombie that not even Blair can seem to crack. So, he brings a joint to school and breaks the news to Dan that he has an illegitimate half-brother out there somewhere. Blair remains faithful to her shell of a man-crush, and even tries to act as his guardian when he’s summoned to the office for smoking hash in the hallways (how cute), but then the mysterious new character, Uncle Jack, interrupts and takes responsibility. What does Jack have up his sleeve? Read More »

Woops! Meant to send that text to a friend, did we?

Looks like Mr. Jackson Jr. tried to buy his way into the Senate.

Wanna shed some weight? Try some slivers.

Katie Perry gets drunk, performs. Awkwardness ensues.

Navigate the holidays alone.

P Diddy’s anti-foot fetish.

11 tips for scoring at thrift stores.

Are Nate and J. Humph makin’ out for realz?

Blackberry’s got nothing on the iPhone.

Why one gay will not participate in a Day Without Gays.

The best lipgloss for ringing in ‘09.

Buddy the Elf...gone bad.

Mississippi State’s got a new head coach.

Okay, every other time I’ve written about screaming at the TV during Gossip Girl is officially taken back. Because tonight was the night for throwing sh*t in the living room during obsessive fits of GG excitement.Warning to fans who missed the episode (and if you did, I hope you had a good excuse – like finding Chace Crawford naked in your dorm after class or something): there will be spoilers in about two seconds. Major. Spoilers.

Before I get to the real juice, can I just ask if anyone else noticed the “dress” Serena wore to Eleanor and Cyrus’ wedding? Girlfriend needed some pants. Or at least the rest of her skirt.

Yes, tonight was a night of new beginnings in the wake of the death of Bart Bass. The funeral prompted Cyrus to ask Eleanor to get hitched ASAP. It prompted Lily and Rufus to plan to admit their love, and for Serena to encourage Lily to run off with Rufus. And it prompted Serena to run off to Buenos Aires with Aaron. And Aaron to tell S. that he’s falling in love with her, which might have been more romantic if it didn’t immediately follow his suggestion that their first time together be in the airplane bathroom. Read More »

Gossip Girl keeps us on our toes…and we love it!

Ever wonder what Santa Clause’s inbox looks like?

The cutest thing about this Christmas card is the dog…yikes!

Imagine smelling a fragrance via your compooper!!

Adorable ideas for winter dates with your hottie…

Gifts that keep on givin’!

This woman sets back feminism about..forever, but I feel bad.

Tina Fey lookin’ mighty fine (and patriotic) on the cover of Vanity Fair…

Hugh Jackman at gay clubs?! WHAT?!

Just because we like seeing people fall…

Miranda Kerr..we hate her cuz she’s beautiful AND dating Orlando Bloom!

Donatella Versace is always entertaining…cuz she looks like a man.