VS.

Today is a big day. Not only is it Hump Day and National Grouch Day, but it also happens to be the final presidential debate before the election and the season finale (not to mention last episode ever to run on Bravo!) of Project Runway!

Ahhh! Too much in one night.

What is a girl to do? Obviously, the debate is important; we want to be informed voters, right? And being that the election is only like 4ish weeks away, we need all the information we can get. But, we’ve put so much precious time into watching every last episode of Project Runway (which was difficult considering how crappy the season has been!), so how can we throw in the towel now?

And it’s not like we can flip back and forth between the two events during commercials – the damn debate doesn’t have any! And both the debate and Project Runway are far too important to DVR and just “catch later.” Some people seem to think there is a way to do it all, but that is just risky; you could miss some major talking points/uneven hemlines!

So which is it gonna be? The last and most important debate, or the hot mess that will be Kenley’s line comin’ down that runway? (Don’t worry; we won’t judge.)

Unlike most people who only have their birthdays to celebrate every year, I am fortunate enough to have two days in my honor:

March 21st – the day my mother pushed me out of her womb

October 15th – National Grouch Day

Whereas I am always shunned, yelled at and abused for being a “royal bitch,” today I, and others like me, am celebrated for my general moodiness. I am finally vindicated for my annoyance at my roommates leaving their sh*t all over the house, for those mother-effers who can’t figure out what a turn signal is, and for the jerks down the street who keep playing that same damn Lil Wayne song over and over and over.

I don’t have to be ashamed for yelling at the Subway dude who put mayo on my 6 inch turkey on whole wheat with “absolutely no sauces, spices or mayo,” or for pushing the bitch at the bar who cut me in line and then got the last Amstel Light.

No. Today is my day. MINE. A day for me to be who I am and for those around me to celebrate it by leaving me the eff alone. Do not hug me, sing to me, or send me a card; all I want on this day is acceptance of my grouchiness.

And maybe for you people to clean up the damn kitchen. Is that too much to ask?!