Grossest Things College Kids Willingly Drink

We’ve all been there.  That college party where things are getting super sweaty and awkward.  All you want to do is drink your sorrows away, forget about the beads of sweat forming between your purposely exposed cleavage, and learn how to ignore all of the backpacks full of Red Dog bumping your head into the bosom of a slutty looking sorority sister.

Ugh, now that I’m thinking about it; it’s no wonder college kids drink the way they do…look what they have to deal with on a nightly basis!

Buying booze in college is an art.  College kids have a restricted amount of money to spend (usually something between the fifteen buckaroos their parents shoved them the last time they went to Sunday dinner at Applebees and the $50 dollars they earned when they sold their statistics book to a freshman that didn’t know a new edition was coming out next month). Therefore, they need something potent that will get the job done without breaking the bank. Talk about substance stress. College peeps take a dive into desperado when it comes to consuming the juice and will literally drink almost anything to get enough liquid courage to tell the girl in History class that she smells like Acai Berry and happiness every morning.

So how low will they go? All the way to the flo’? Let’s have a looksie:

1. Natty Ice
For some reason even though the word ‘ice’ is in this boozie selection, I imagine it lukewarm and one notch above the quality of most urine.  You can have it, bro-bots. Drink it up, crush those cans against your forehead, and bring me something that starts with “v” and ends with “odka soda with a splash of lime and two cherries.”

2. Four Loko
This drink was definitely one of the more depressing things that happened in 2010.  Honestly, it tastes like it could fuel a Transformer (the ones that turn into semis, not Mini-Coopers). Nobody should be drinking something that makes them feel like they could live on the moon. Nobody.

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Dollar Pitchers No More

beer price increase

That pitcher costs more than my tuition!

I am thoroughly pissed off. And you should be too.

It’s been announced that the price of beer is on the rise this fall due to the fact that sales are down and the cost of making it is up.

Now, I don’t know who is cutting back on their beer intake (how else are you supposed to cope with the declining economy and increasing joblessness?), but it sure as hell isn’t us college students.

Shotguns, kegstands, pong tournaments… we’re keeping the beer industry afloat and they want to make us pay more?!

While our loans are being cut and our financial aid is being taken away we have stuck by our beer, true and loyal customers, purchasing it in large amounts and inviting it to all of our events. Even study sesions. And this is how we are repaid for our loyalty? Read More »