"He's got a new GF!?"

I have a pretty boring morning routine. I hear my alarm go off on my iPhone (“Pretty Young Thing” by MJ, if you must know) continue to hit snooze until I only give myself twenty minutes to get ready. Then the routine:

-          Stretch. Rub face seven times.
-          Tear out of bed when I realize that I’m already running thirty minutes late.
-          Get in shower. Shampoo. Condition. Etc.
-          Dry off, get dressed, brush teeth, make goofy faces at myself in the mirror.
-          Run upstairs, notice that I have an extra five minutes.
-          Check Facebook.

Yes, Facebook is usually a part of my morning routine. Sometimes even taking precedent over a nutritious breakfast. Sad, but true.

You log in and scroll through Newsfeed, which usually goes a little something like this: status updates from “kind-of” friends, photos posted from family vacations that you don’t care about, “top 5 favorite Miley Cyrus songs” (she even has 5 songs?), event notification for a band you’ve never heard of, “What’s my Ghetto Name,” more status updates, ex-boyfriend is no longer listed as single, status upd… WAIT WHAT?!

Scroll back up in a panic, hoping you misread. Nope. We have confirmation: That stupid little pink heart is practically jumping off the screen paired with your recent ex, boyfriend or crush’s name. Maybe you already knew they were in a relationship, maybe you had no idea, maybe they broke up with you via Facebook, maybe you went out on a few dates and you thought things were going places but now they are in a relationship with someone who is NOT you.

Whatever the case is, this relationship update is a slap in the face…book. Read More »