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Prepare to pee a little bit. Don’t worry – it’s totally worth it. I promise.

Your teenage dream is about to come true, and I am not talking about a breathy Katy Perry song.

I don’t know if someone in the music world saw our ‘90s bracket or our ’90s music festival fantasy and got inspired, or if someone out there (The Big Man Upstairs) decided to reward all of us 20-somethings, but Backstreet is BACK. And this time, they’re bringing the Right Stuff with them (pun very much intended).

That’s right, ladies (and gents who happen to care): Backstreet Boys AND New Kids on the Block are hitting the road together as early as March 2011.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Insert teenybopper scream here.]

I mean, let’s face it – Beiber Fever has NOTHING on Boy Band Pandemonium. Even if we have aged, learned how to straighten our hair, ditched the Rachel Green haircut and platform sneakers and stopped using a Disc Man/Walkman (or Napster) to listen to our favorite BSB/NKOTB tunes, we are a faithful bunch who still love our now aging teenage heart throbs as if we were still 13 and thought that Nick Carter was actually going to marry us. Swoon.

In case you don’t keep up on all things BSB/New Kids, The Backstreet Boys surprised New Kids fans this past summer at NKOTB’s sold out show, and the screams were piercing as both bands sang “I Want It That Way.” And apparently they (and Live Nation) realized, we do want it that way. (Once again, pun totes intended.)

Live Nation (who is allegedly sponsoring this tour from heaven) is said to be looking for a third boy band to join in on the festivities. Will it by N*SYNC? 98 Degrees? LFO?? Whoever it is, there is going to be a whole lot of vintage bedazelled ’80s/’90s boy band gear going on, which will be nothing short of one amazing fashion disaster (a.k.a. pure fabulousness).

And I am having a hard time waiting for it.

Is it March 2011 yet?!

[Photo courtesy of Jezebel.com.]

Home Depot’s cutting jobs in a big way.

Did Kirsten Dunst steal our man?

The New Kids’ tour dates are out!

The WTF Blanket.

7 reasons why you should be happy.

Add some cinnamon to your diet!

Fergie and Josh return from the honeymoon.

Please don’t let these sunglasses get popular.

Natalie Dylan explains why she’s selling her v-card.

And Obama’s first interview goes to….Matt Lauer.

Why not take a cruise back to the late eighties with your favorite boy band, New Kids on the Block? The band (yes, they are still a band) announced today that tickets for their concert cruise, which sets sail on May 15th, will go on sale tomorrow (Wednesday, Jan. 14). The ship will travel from Fort. Lauderdale, Florida down to the Bahamas where I imagine it will be too warm for their trademark acid-wash jean jackets.

That’s right, much to my delight, Donnie Wahlberg, Jordan and Jonathan Knight, Joey McIntyre, and Danny Wood should be sporting lots of middle-aged flesh on this dream vaca.

Just imagine what a cruise with NKOTB would be like, minus the rat tails of yesteryear, of course.

Maybe they’ll get the party started with a little dance party action on the lido deck. Someone will request “You Got it (The Right Stuff)” and a sense of nostalgia will hit the audience as old and new fans unite. And after a midnight buffet and a soak in the hot tub the boys will lull their audience to sleep with an acoustic version of “Please Don’t Go Girl.”

With meet-and-greets and special events galore (please god, let their be a magic show!), I can only hope that Joey will find a some time to rub a little sunblock on my back. I imagine at some point Donnie will push Jordan in the pool on the lido deck, because, after all, boys will be boys, right? Jordan will probably get pissed off about his hair, but, hey, there’s nothing a banana daiquiri can’t fix as we all sail into the sunset.

And if something should happen to the boat – like an ice berg (right ahead!) – the New Kids would be just fine. They’re used to Hangin’ Tough.

For real, though, who wants to go? I can’t go it alone!

What is with Robert Pattinson’s hair?

Dining halls go gourmet.

All in one (literally) makeup set. Sign me up!

College seniors deal with poor job market.

8 worst things about Thanksgiving.

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are back to sharing the crack pipe together.

Colleges are closing due to crappy economy.

Foreskin is good for your skin?

Have you Facebooked Osama Bin Laden yet?

First Spice Girls, then NKOTB and BSB…now an N’Sync reunion?!

Want it. Need it. Norma Kamali at Wal-Mart?!

HOWEVA! I was slightly disappointed with the quality of these live performances. Take the Pussycat Dolls, for example. Yea, they’re hot and they had polls and some seriously sexy dance moves…but somewhere in the beginning of “When I Grow Up” Nicole Scherzinger’s voice did something funky and she sounded like a little boy goin’ through puberty. You know, like the Jonas Brothers, who were also unimpressive.

And, yes, I’m a huge Annie Lennox fan — how can you not rock out to “Walking on Broken Glass”? — and she totally deserved the Award of Merit. But something about her live performance of “Why” last night just didn’t hit the spot. (I’ll tell you who did tho… Justin Timberlake when he introduced her! Sweet Jesus.)

Despite those misses, though, there were some seriously memorable performances last night. So here are (in my opinion and in no particular order) the Top 5:

1. Christina Aguilera – Even though I’m pretty sure she lip-synced part of “Genie In a Bottle,” homegirl can sing! And more than that, she can put on an amazing show! Her medley of her greatest hits brought me back to middle school…loved it!

2. New Kids on the Block – Talk about flashback…these guys are still hot! I don’t care what you say! Little Joey is still adorable, Donnie is still a badass (with a nice ass), Jordan is still sexy…and no one remembers the other two…who were also awesome! OH OH OOOOH OH!!

3) Beyonce- Ah, Beyonce, only you could pull off wearing a leotard at the AMAs and look sexy. Normally, I find Beyonce’s voice whiney and annoying, but last night she really rocked it with her latest single, “Single Ladies”! And that girl can move…

4) Sarah McLachlan and Pink- Unlikely duo, yes. Bad duet, no. Despite the fact that they performed “Angel” which I now permanently associate with battered animals, the girls sounded amazing! They sound just as good live as they do on their records, and that’s saying a lot these days.

5) Alicia Keys- I absolutely adore Alica Keys! She closed the show with “Superwoman” and brought out Queen Latifah (where the hell has she been?) who gave a shout out to our new pres, and some opera singer no one knows (to show her appreciation for all kinds of music, I’m guessing?) Whatever the reason, it was great and Miss Keys sounded phenom!

With all the crazy sh*t happening in the world today, we here at CC can’t help but think back to the days when the biggest issue in our lives was whether our Mom had put our favorite over-sized T-shirt (with the Coke Bears on it!) in the laundry yet.

Yeah, we’re talking about Elementary School.

And maybe we’re not even talking about the Elementary School of today, because apparently kids are alergic to everything and on mood-altering drugs and having sex at 11. We’re talking about the Elementary School of our youth. Troll Dolls. New Kids On The Block (the first time). Side pony-tails. Dunkaroos. Life was so much fun back then — or at least our nostalgia tells us it was.

In honor of our childhoods, and because we are so. drained. from a week full of political and economic strife, we’ve decided to put together the 10 Best Things About Elementary School. Feel free to add your own happy memories in the comments…

10) Lunchables

Yeah. These things were really bad for us. They were full of chemicals and sugar. Refined and processed. But hot damn, were they good.

9) Cootie Catchers

How many of these could you make in thirty seconds? How many times did you actually believe with your heart and soul that Sean, who sat two desks over, was actually going to fall in love with you because the Cootie Catcher said so? P-U-R-P-L-E…

8 ) Homework That Included Coloring

Booyah. This was the sh*t, right up there with making dioramas out of shoe boxes. Color the 50 states? Sure. Color the different parts of the flower? WHY NOT? Nothing was better than lulling yourself into a zen-like state with coloring and calling it “work”.

7) Skip-It

One time, I Skipped-It around my entire block for an hour. Exercising has only gone downhill since…

6) Yoo-Hoo

Do they even sell this stuff anymore? It’s probably known to cause cancer now, but back in Elementary School, this drink was as valuable as pure crack cocaine from Colombia. You could bargain for anything with Yoo-Hoo, including your friend’s half-baked cookie from hot lunch.

5) Trapper Keepers

If people wouldn’t look at me weird, I would still be using my Lisa Frank trapper keeper from 5th grade. That bitch held everything, even pens. Plus, you could add all the cute kitten and Troll doll folders you wanted to it and it would still close

4) Snap Bracelets

These things were outlawed in my school as soon as they arrived, but the potential to actually cut someone only made them cooler. If you sat in the back of the bus, you could watch boys having whipping contests with them — first one to shed a single tear loses.

3) Anything with Unicorns on it

Unicorns were hip in Elementary School. Especially if they had wings, or were painted in really bright colors. You could have Unicorns on your pens, notebooks, pencil cases, shirt…the list goes on. I can’t own anything with a Unicorn anymore, even though my love for them is still strong.

2) Sharkbites Fruit Snacks

Remember the white ones that tasted like all the colors combined? It was like an explosion in your mouth.

1) Recess

Tackling boys and throwing to the ground without worrying about restraining orders, getting “married” by the tire swing, testing the boundaries of your courage by kicking the tree with the bees in it; recess was pretty much the best thing the public school system ever did for us. I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life than when I watched my friend Bobby try to jump off a swing, only to have his jacket get caught by the chain, and fly backwards like a rag doll 6 feet in the air. Oh man. Good times.

Sometimes, the best things in life come unexpectedly. Like that time you ran into a store “just to browse” and you found a rockin pair of jeans for super cheap. Or when you got randomly paired up with your roommate and now you can’t imagine how you lived the last 20 years without her- you swear you must have been separated at birth.

This got us thinking – that perhaps, the best MEN in life also come unexpectedly… not only is timing everything, but apparently so is location. So we’ve put together the 5 most unlikely places to meet a man. Try them out or try out an unlikely place of you very own…

The 5 Most Unlikely Places to Meet a Man

Fro-Yo Shop: Usually these places are jam packed with annoyingly chatty, trendy, dieting chicks. But on the rare occasion you find the cute guy whose sister/ex-girlfriend/mom convinced him to try it and now he’s hooked. Hook- Line and Sinker that is.

Massive Sale: I have to say I was AMAZED by the number of HOT men at the Nordstrom Anniversary sale last week. Men like to shop too, ladies. And no that doesn’t mean they are gay! What it does mean is that they will be happy to accompany you on a trip to the mall! Can you say Keeper?!

Hair Salon: Fact is our boys need hair cuts too…. Meeting one while your hair is wrapped in foils that make you look like you are channeling outer space? Always Special. But if you are confident to talk to him looking like that, chances are he is going to appreciate the gesture and ask you out.

New Kids on the Block (or other pop-star) Concert: Sure you are chomping at the bit to get your hands on tickets to see your heart throbs back in concert- but while you were 7 screaming about the Right Stuff, our male counterparts were playing with Ninja Turtles and GI Joe’s. But you never know; there are always the guys who are forced to go for work or who work for the band… or who are IN the band.

Yoga Class: There is nothing like being in a Downward Dog peering at a HOT guy with no shirt on from between your legs. Just what you needed to get you through your workout (and coming back all week). Now you get to stare at his ass all class long. I will Namaste to that. Best. Day. Ever.

[Photo courtesy of NYTimes.com]

1. Guidespot.com- you can become a member, create guides about anything and everything or read user guides. Some are localized other are just plain fun like; “Making a WTF mullet”

2. Gimme Your Stuff, this site is a cultural exchange- you send someone in Japan your favorite American candy and they’ll send you theirs.

3. Bettie Magazine, these are women that know a thing or two and are oh so entertaining.

4. This crazy incest story from some of our fav ladies at Jezebel.com

5. DAILYCANDY.COM and their awesome weekend guides.

6. In case you were wondering, Gayle and Oprah aren’t lesbians. Is that clear?

7. How about the I’m f*cking Obama video, on Thedailytube.com

8. Can we talk about how excited I am about the New Kids On The Block’s new song….Mollygood.com was excited enough to post the YouTube video

9. Britney’s $100 Million come back tour??? Celebslam dishes the shiz.

10. Carrie Underwood dumped over a text message….?? Ouch. Though, she does seem like a b*tch.

[Know any other cool sites or stories? Finals are coming up. We NEED some procrastinating material...]

But of course, like most things in life, my assumption would be wrong.

PEOPLE is reporting that rumors of a New Kid reunion are growing, and the once defunct NKOTB webpage is back up.

“The New Kids are coming back” a “well-placed source,” told the magazine. “New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.”

As cool as I thought the band was when I was 10, I can’t say I’ll be as enthusiastic about their sound 14 years later. I mean, when I was 10, I also enjoyed showering myself in glitter and wearing giant t-shirts with the Coca Cola polar bear on them.

Besides, the oldest member of NKOTB is pushing 40. 40. Is a 40-year-old man really going to sing the songs of prepubescent lust and angst, and expect the world to listen?

Laugh is more like it. Laugh and throw snap bracelets.