Welcome back to The Rival Rundown! If you’ve always wanted to give props to your school on CC, now’s your chance! Shoot us an email explaining what’s awesome and unique about your school (or what stinks about Rival U) at rivalrundown@collegecandy.com!

This week begins the World Series, the premier sporting championship in the nation (at least in my opinion–why have one night of the Superbowl when you can have at least four nights of nail-biting, crowd-rousing suspense?). While the world obsesses over the current New York-Philadelphia rivalry, let’s take a look at another – between Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania.  The only two Ivy League schools with truly urban campuses, Columbia and UPenn are champion institutions themselves. But who will come out on top? Best of five wins…

1. Mascot Matchup

Columbia- Don some baby-blue and white to cheer on the Lions, so named for the university’s heritage as King’s College (referring to the King of England, whose coat of arms portrays a lion).
UPenn- The Penn Quakers pay homage to the Society of Friends (aka the Quakers), the religious affiliation of the settlers of Pennsylvania. The largest Quaker-fest occurs each spring at Penn Relays, a prestigious and historic track-and-field event attracting students from high schools and colleges across the country.

Three credits to: UPenn. How could you not love a team named the Quakers? Who doesn’t love oatmeal?

2. Late-Night Munchies

Columbia- After an evening of criss-crossing Morningside Heights, stop by Koronet’s Pizza where a classic New York slice will set you back $3.50. If you think that’s expensive, consider that the slice takes up the entire length of your forearm.
UPenn- If you’re in Philly, you gotta have a cheesesteak. The all-American concoction of sliced steak and cheddar cheese on a hoagie (that’s right) is the most mouth-watering attraction in the city, and UPenn students get their fix at Pat’s King of Steaks, open 24/7.  Get a standard for $7.50.

Three Credits to:  Columbia, where you get more bang (and crust, and sauce, and cheese) for your buck!

3. Terrific Traditions

Columbia- Each spring, Columbians clamor to attend the Varsity Show, a fundraiser for the athletics team that takes the form of a student-written, produced, and performed production that satirizes every part of life at Columbia and current events.
UPenn- The Quakers sure are Friend-ly: each year on Hey Day, the outgoing senior class will “haze” the junior class, covering them with food as they pass through the quad, where representatives from each class then give speeches and the junior class is officially introduced as seniors.

Three credits to:  Columbia, for the ingenuity.

4. Ass-kicking Alumni

Columbia- Barack Obama, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Allen Ginsberg, Art Garfunkel, Paul Simon
UPenn-Ben Franklin, Donald Trump, Chaim Potok, Dick Wolf (creator of Law & Order), William Carlos Williams, Tory Burch

Three credits to:  UPenn (Ben Franklin shaped democracy as we know it, and Trump is his own freakin’ brand of capitalism).

5. Acceptance Rate Agony (for the class of 2012)

Columbia- 10%
UPenn- 16.9%

Three credits to: Columbia

And the diploma goes to: Columbia! In this series, the title goes to New York and the Lions. For Philadelphia afficionados, better luck on the field this week!

Yesterday was the best day ever.

First, my Communications teacher decided to show Gossip Girl in our class and then the CW broadcast a fabulous new episode and finally developed the “Rufus Humphrey’s kid is hiding out in New York” plot line.  Oh, and I got to see Dan Humphrey do a Walk of Shame.

Yay, life.

Ok, so yeah, I was jumping up and down when Scott was finally ready to admit who he was. And then the moment actually happened – or didn’t. Turns out that Scott kid is more Humphrey than I thought – he didn’t have the balls to come out and tell the Humphrey-clan his true identity. The only one who knows right now is Vanessa, and, let’s be real, that girl can’t keep her mouth shut for an entire subway ride to Brooklyn. (Disclaimer: I really don’t like Vanessa and will take every excuse to bash her.)  As soon as she learns the smallest of details, she has to go spilling it to everyone and poor Scott’s life is going to be turned up-side-down.

Does that mean that hottie will be back for more episodes? We can only hope.

But all that Humphrey drama didn’t ruin the entire 60-minutes for me. In fact, Georgina saved it. How much do you love  that the bitch in Georgina Sparks is finally back? And how much does it skeeve you out that she’s become so…creepy?  Did anyone else notice a picture-perfect version of her and Dan on her shiny paper-thin MacBook Air? I know most of her motivation in life comes from getting back at Blair, but I think this love/obsession for Dan is real. And really creepy. We can all bet that Dan is going to pay for his wanting to keep-things-casual attitude towards her; once you’re in bed with Georgina Sparks, you are probably going to have to crawl your way out.

Personally, I love the whole manipulative side to her.  The Jesus lover was freaking me out, the nice girl act was just boring and this “I heart Dan” thing is weird.  This drama is much more my style and I can’t wait to see more of that. Bring out the claws, woman.

In the business world of New York, Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf bid on a photo – Blair to climb up in the New York social world, and Chuck to impress his future business partners.  Poor B still doesn’t have any friends at school, but apparently Chuck is buying a hotel now, so at least she’ll have her pick of rooms when she wants to take out her frustrations on a certain Bass.  That’s gotta make the girl feel better, right? I know when my super rich boyfriend bought a hotel….wait. No I don’t.

And for those who are also too cool for school, Serena van Der Woodsen is playing couple with Carter Basin…who is much less cute now that he is broke.  But she did date Dan Humphrey, so maybe she likes saving those helpless boys.

Things to look forward to: Finding out why Bree Buckley hates Carter Basin so much.  I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume it has something to do with money. Doesn’t it always?  Also to look forward to:  shirtless Nate Archibald. Where was he (and those pecks) this episode?

Highlight of the show: Georgina making her way to Boston to mess with Scott. Just because he’s in a different area code doesn’t mean Georgina can’t get her claws into him.

Until next week…
You know you love them.

XOXO.
GGR
(Gossip Girl Recapper)

I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately. Mostly to myself, but I have a quirky tendency to mumble aloud so sometimes I get answers from people assuming that I was trying to have a conversation with them. But I appreciate their responses; I’ll take anything I can get these days, with the exception of Yahoo answers. The longer I go without finding a job, the more I question every decision I’ve made since kindergarten….including that one-piece stir-up jumpsuit my mother insisted I wear.

What if I had gone to another college? What if I had majored in psychology? What if I’m one of those people who don’t know they’re pregnant until they go into labor at nine months and discover their baby has 13 fingers and tentacles because their mother took a shot every time she asked herself what if?

What if I had taken a different internship last summer, seduced the boss, and then been able to blackmail him into getting me a job. What if the love of my life lives in the past and we spend the rest of our lives communicating only through a mailbox at a lake house (do they have to play that movie every single weekend??). What if I end up getting hired at my dream job and realize that I hate it?

What if my friends/family have been lying for the past 22 years about me being tone deaf because they knew if I really knew how good my voice was I would be the greatest singer this world has ever seen and I would never speak to them again except through the press? What if I never get a job in New York and I have to move home and face all my former high school acquaintances and explain why I’m living in the place I swore I would never live?

What if I’m not good at the job that I just spend the last four years preparing for? What if my parents had considered my future plans and goals and had become professionals in the television industry and hooked me up with a job right now? What if I didn’t have to be worried every time I answered a job on Craigslist and was told my headshot and bra size was need for further job consideration?

What if I could just be one of those people who could just chill and go with the flow and not spend their nights composing long lists of unanswerable what if’s?

In honor of CollegeCandy’s cocktail hour this week, the Weekly Ten will be on the 10 reasons we adore NYC! As a recent resident to NYC’s Upper West Side, here’s my take on my new favorite city…

10. Last Call- 3:30 AM.
This means you have plenty of time to dance on bars. If time is money, then take that money and spend it on shots of Patron.

9. The boys are BANGIN’
Is there anything hotter than an NYC boy? From the Columbia law students (hi, yum, slamshows) to the prepster Upper East Siders (hi, Chuck Bass), the city has a gaggle of gorgeous gentlemen. Beware of guidos.

8. SHOPPING.
Sample Sales, Saks and SHOES SHOES & MORE SHOES. Aughhhh! I want it all!

7. Celebs, celebs, celebs!
Okay, so every day after work I walk past Rockefeller Center, desperately looking for Alec Baldwin. Come out wherever you are, Jack Donaghy!

6. Slamming Nightlife
The hot, trendy bars (like the one we’ll be partying at); more clubs than you can think of; bars with crazy themes… there’s something for everyone in this here city.

5. Yummy foods
Magnolia, Serendipity, Dylan’s Candy Bar, Crumbs… and that’s just dessert! 24/7 diners for all your drunk munchie needs and New York pizza? Need I say more?

4. The Sports
Kidding. Screw the Yankees, most overrated team ever. Not to mention the travesty that is the Mets. But, both the new stadiums are worth checking out. Particularly if they’re playing the Cleveland Indians.

3. Central Park
In the middle of the craziest city that never sleeps, you have one of the most peaceful, beautiful parks around. Did I mention all the DOGGIES everywhere?! AHHHHH so cute!

2. The Culture
The MoMa has free entry on Fridays from 4-8, not to mention the Met, Lincoln Center, Guggenheim… After coming to NYC, you’ll practically be an art historian.

1. It’s just the freaking best city in the world.
I mean, really. NYC is what it’s all about. The coolest little Island that packs a punch. Sex and the City, Seinfeld, SNL, David Letterman, How I Met Your Mother, Friends and now Conan all agree: New York City rocks.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

Sarah Merion is a “Social Media” pioneer for Gen Y. She has her own website, SarahMerion.com, where she educates on Social Media and challenges people to think about using social media to benefit their business. She has a cult following on Twitter (check her out @SarahMerion) and has even hosted multiple workshops on using Twitter and LinkedIn at her campus at Northeastern and at MIT. Her RoofUp Tweetup was the biggest in Boston and Northeastern approved a grant she wrote to finance her trip to a Social Media conference in Chicago called SOBCon.

On top of all of that, she’s only 21 and still a student at Northeastern, studying Spanish, Management Information Systems and Finance, currently on internship in NYC doing data analysis for a mega media company. Not to mention, she’s sassy, hilarious and can we say: Coolest. Hair. Ever. When I discovered this girl, I knew I had to bag an interview, so I contacted her via YouTube to grab her attention (don’t laugh). It worked and we quickly began collaborating on this interview, on top of a few other projects in the works. Sarah Merion is an inspiration for college girls who want to be entrepreneurs while still in school and proof that maybe, just maybe, the finance world isn’t as screwed as we thought.

5 Questions We Ask Everyone:

1. What is your most ridiculous college memory/most trouble you’ve ever gotten into?
Haha, no comment. Definitely did not involve me dancing on a bar. Hoo boy.

2. What are five things you can’t live without?
1. MAC foundation.
2. iPhone! Hello Tweetdeck, I love you.
3. Pink and black Herve bag. I seriously carry it EVERY. WHERE.
4. Hanky Panky underwear
5. Classic cherry chapstick. Wait, no! Friends! The TV show. Oh also, vanilla Yoplait light yogurt. And Kashi GoLean. Kashi GoLean Crunch. Grande non fat cappuccino with one Splenda. Shoot, that’s more than five, isn’t it?

3. What’s your motto/advice you live by?
Break the rules.

4. What is your favorite song to belt out at the bar/in the car/for karaoke?
“Take Me Home Tonight” by Eddie Money in the bar, but I’m not gonna lie, once, I rolled the windows up to my car I sang every word to the entire Celine Dion CD. Yes. I know every. Single. Word.

5. Ten years from now you will be….
Skinny. Rich. Married. Kidding! No, I’ll be really fit, not skinny. Kidding aside, I’ll own my own business. Either be a solopreneur or some sort of entrepreneur starting many different companies. I’ll be active in many different philanthropies and I’ll continue spreading my message about social media and inspiring Gen Y.

5 Questions just for Sarah Merion

1. Your motto is “Break the rules.” Now, does that mean break the social norms and go out on a Monday night when you have a final tomorrow or…?
My motto is “Break the rules” because when you break the rules or step outside the mediocre, then you create your own game. No one can beat you when you create your own path. Do something that scares you, make yourself totally uncomfortable. Life doesn’t have to be about the “norms” and staying on path. You will always succeed when you push yourself to go against the grain.

Now, I’m not saying go out and break the law, skip class and be a bum. What I’m saying is, challenge yourself, push boundaries and do something that people might look unfavorably upon. No one ever got noticed by doing what everyone else did. Even though blood and needles terrify me, one day I stopped and thought “Hey, I could be a surgeon” and I seriously thought about it. I realized it wasn’t my calling, but I wanted to because I COULD.

2. You talk about Gen-Y a bunch.What the heck is Gen-Y and what’s their deal?
Gen-Y is our generation, that age range from about 10-25. We are the internet babies in a way. Our biggest problem is that we have big goals and aspirations, but we don’t act nearly enough on it. We’ve been spoiled by the internet and technology and instead of harnessing it for our good, we’ve been expecting instant gratification. They talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.

Gen-Y needs to step it up, break the rules and work hard. We’re in a rough time right now and people have been saying that we won’t be as successful as our parents. That’s a really scary thought. But, we can fix it! Gen-Y can take full advantage of all our opportunities and create their own lifestyle, instead of simply expecting it.

3. How did you get into all of this? What were the obstacles? Did all those super serial Finance major peers think you were nuts?
Honestly, I was just bored one day. I was in school, not working and I just got the itch to do something. I found this guy @LewisHowes on Twitter and he really turned me onto Social Media, we connected and before I knew it I was his assistant. I wasn’t getting paid, but I was getting a ton out of it. He was mentoring me and I began building a network on Twitter. My parents, peers and classmates were appalled. They couldn’t believe I would just work for free.

I started living by “break the rules.” I’d always been very organized and planned everything and all of a sudden I found myself just jumping into the social media world, going against the grain and standards of the “typical” finance student.

At the time, I was in a very competitive program at Northeastern for International Business. This program requires you to both go abroad and study in a foreign language for a semester on top of a six month internship in that company. It’s widely renowned and I was mere months away from going when I started getting into this social media world. I started doing workshops at Northeastern and MIT and eventually wrote the grant to go to SOBCon. After the conference, it was settled. I knew I had to drop out of the IB program and focus my energy on what I was succeeding in. I never regretted my decision to completely switch paths and my successes have proved that it was the right choice.

4. We recently wrote an article about “Facebook bullying.” Since you are such a prominent figure in social media, and also a college girl, what advice would you have for girls about getting attacked through social media (Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, AIM, etc…)?
Not to be a mom, but just ignore it. Don’t engage in the behavior. The other person looks like they’re just talking to themselves. Or, just write an article about it that a ton of people read. Look who’ll be laughing then!

5. You’ve made your professional name through Twitter, LinkedIn and your site. We like to tweet and blog about boys, booze and bathing suits. Are we totally screwed down the line in our professional careers?
Honestly, I started out writing a really racy “Sex & The City”esque blog before I realized how I wanted to make my name. I took it down because I really believe if you don’t want something you write to be on the front page of the paper, then don’t write it at all. I decided to focus on a different area and leave the racy stuff offline.

But no, if you do it the right way, you won’t be screwed. You just need to step back and assess your goals. If you want to be a corporate lawyer, maybe you shouldn’t write about your sexcapades. However, you can be a professional woman and if you’re creative and savvy about it, you can create your own niche and write about whatever you want. Just OWN it.

Thanks Sarah! We’ll keep on blogging about lip gloss then… in a fierce and professional way, of course! Sarah will be attending CollegeCandy’s Cocktail Hour in NYC! Come stop by and say hello!

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

If there’s one thing we love in life, it’s partying with the girls. For free. So, we’re throwing a party. And it’s all free.

There will be fabulous cocktails, tasty snacks, and your favorite dance-able jams. Everyone will also have the chance to take home some super sweet prizes, from a brand-spanking-new HP computer to spa treatments to a tour of NBC’s 30 Rock.

All you have to do is put on your party shoes (flats, for real) and show up. Oh, and it also helps if you are in NYC, as anything else would be a long walk o’ shame home in the morning.

So grab your girls and come party with us July 29th from 6-9 p.m. at Vig 27.

Check out our invite and RSVP for a night of total fabulosity.
We’ll be there, will you??

P.S. 21 and up, ladies.
P.P.S. CollegeCandy is not responsible for lack of productivity the following day. Might be a good idea to take the day off. Just sayin….

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Ladies, do you like a good nibble during a makeout sesh? Do you get off on the idea of escaping from the perils of public life into seclusion with your hunk? Do you get hot for precariously messy coifs? If you said ‘yes!’ to all of these questions, and can stand the sight of blood without fainting, Robert Pattinson may be the boy-toy for you.

At 23, Pattinson has set the world ablaze with his vacant, erotic stare that communicates the only emotion I ever need to know: ‘I want to eff the sh*t out of you.’ The hottie shot to fame last fall  for his film role as bloodsucking, sexy vampire Eddie Cullen in the Twilight series. Ever since, ladies aged 8 to 88 have been fainting in the streets at the mere sight of the British hunk, who has been known to instigate spontaneous orgasm with a single scowl.

Most recently, Robert has been making headlines in New York for the legions of girls who’ve come out to stalk him catch a glimpse as he films his new movie, Remember Me, in the Big Apple. Just last week, the effable villain was clipped by a New York taxi cab as he tried to escape the hordes of tween girls throwing themselves upon him in lust. But breathe easy ladies, he’s fine (or shall I say, he’s foyne!).

So, RP, I confess: your devilish grin has inspired me to return to my TigerBeat roots and pin up your photos all over my walls. And refrigerator. And, well, the inside of my medicine cabinet. No facade in my home has been spared from your infinitely effable visage. When you’ve decided you’ve had enough of the tween fandom and want a real woman, come scowl in my direction.

Learning the ropes of an internship is one thing, but becoming accustomed to a big city for the first time while starting an internship can make those first few days all the more nerve wracking.

After scoring two internships in New York City last summer, I couldn’t have been more excited – and then the realization of living alone in a city I didn’t know anything about terrified me. From the moment my plane landed at La Guardia, I was a nervous wreck until I made it through my first few days.

By the end of my time as a summer intern, though, I had the interning and city gag down pat. In fact, I couldn’t get enough, so I decided to come back to New York in January to intern again. With three different internships under my belt in one of the biggest cities in the world, here are some tips that helped me become a big city intern faster than I thought was possible.

Timing is everything: Since most big cities rely on public transportation, you will need to leave earlier than you normally would anywhere else. For example, if it takes you ten minutes to walk from your residence to your company’s building, you should leave twenty minutes early – at least for the first few days – to make sure you get there on time. Also, who knows what can happen on any given day. Traffic could hold you up one day, a morning rain shower could crowd the subways, or a longer than anticipated line at Starbucks might hold you back while waiting for your morning Venti Mocha. Always give yourself some leeway because this way, you won’t be late and you will save yourself the stress of worrying about getting to the job on time.

Transportation shortcuts exist: Most transportation systems, such as the subway and buses in major cities from New York to San Francisco, have websites that you can find all the information you will ever need at. However, most helpful is the popular HopStop, a website that will tell you what subway trains to take, what bus to transfer to, and how many blocks you need to walk to make it to your destination and how long all of that moving and shaking will take you. It not only informs you about maintenance hold-ups, but it will give you different routes for you to pick from. And to top it all off, you can use HopStop on your cell phone. You won’t get lost with this website in your life, I promise.

Make friends with the doormen: Whether your company’s office has a doorman or you are running errands for an author out of her apartment, get to know the people working the front desk or building doors. Not only will you have a smiling face to greet you in the morning, but you will have someone that knows the city well to direct you in a time of need. This past January, the doormen at the apartment building I constantly ran errands out of were some of the nicest people I met my entire internship. Constantly helpful, they always made me laugh no matter how cold it was in New York or how many boxes I had to carry blocks away. They will brighten your day, and by talking to them, you will brighten their day.

Band-Aids make good friends, too: I can’t begin to count the amount of band-aids I went through during all my internships. It didn’t matter how old and broken in my shoes were, they gave me big, ugly blisters. Why? Well, because the amount of walking I did while interning was far beyond the normal amount of any day around a college campus. I learned quickly to keep a box of Band-aids in my over-sized bag and everyone should do the same. Trust me, you don’t want to be the girl limping with a bloody shoe. Also, since interns usually deal with a lot of paper, nasty paper cuts are guaranteed and you won’t want to have bloody fingers when handing faxes into your boss.

Keep a detailed notebook: Purchase a small spiral notebook and keep it in your bag the entire internship experience. While you write tasks or errands you need to run throughout the day in it, you can also keep addresses of locations you visit, phone numbers and other contact information, and any thoughts you feel need to be recorded all in the same place. If the notebook has pockets, slide in all the business cards you get. Notebooks also come in handy because you can write directions down in it, which saves you time and embarrassment from opening a huge subway map in the middle of a metro station to see where you need to go. At the end of your internship, you will have pages filled of duties you completed (which will make you feel good about yourself) along with a lot of other information that could one day come in handy (for example, a lot of the locations I visited during my summer internships were places I wanted to go again – and I was able to reference them from my notes during my winter internship). This is a good way to keep all your stuff organized so you aren’t leaving things all over the place.

Keep up the pace: Internships in big cities tend to go at a very fast pace. Make sure you keep up. Some days it will honestly suck and you will probably hate it – but you are there to learn. Soak everything in – the good, the bad, the bloody socks from your new shoes, the compliments from your new boss – everything. You were picked to be an intern for a reason, and as long as you remember that, you shouldn’t stop working hard to show that you really do belong there.

Make the most of it: A major perk of interning in a big city is actually being in a big city! You will have a ton of culture and excitement at your finger tips, so live it up! Although working may wear you out, make sure you spend time seeing what the city has to offer. Not only will you gain immense amounts of work experience, but you will do so in a cultural environment – there really isn’t much more you can ask for during an internship!

I love vitaminwater.  It’s yummy, and the fact that it’s loaded with vitamins makes me feel like I’m doing something good for my body whenever I drink it.  However, what I don’t love so much is that the sugar in it that makes it taste so good also makes it a little high in calories.  This is why I usually try to drink it only when I’m working out, but, to be perfectly honest, that isn’t too often.

That’s why I was super excited when I heard about vitaminwater’s newest creation, vitaminwater10, which has only 10 calories per serving -  that’s only 25 calories per 20-ounce bottle! Being able to enjoy my beloved vitaminwater without having to worry too much about the calories? Sounds perfect.

But could it be too good to be true? Would 10 calories also mean that nasty “diet” after-taste that comes from scary artificial sweeteners? I checked out the VitaminWater10 event in NYC to find out:

The new “water” comes in 4 of the original vitaminwater flavors: energy (tropical citrus), multi-v (lemonade), essential (orange), and xxx (triple antioxidants: acai-blueberry-pomegranate).  I tried all of them, and I’m happy to announce that my worries were unnecessary: the stuff tastes GREAT, just like regular vitaminwater!  This comes from the fact that vitaminwater10 is sweetened by a variety of fruit and vegetable derived sweeteners, which are balanced perfectly in order to make it both low-calorie AND taste delicious.

Seriously, this stuff is good. Most people just sampled each flavor, but I literally drank 4 full bottles. Good thing there were bathrooms nearby…

I can’t wait for them to come out with more flavors, but for now I’m officially a loyal convert to vitaminwater10. Maybe even loyal enough to get to the gym a little more to have an excuse to drink it. Maybe…

Bonus: if you live in NYC, you can head down to the “vitaminwater10 dest10ation store” located at 626 Broadway (between Houston & Bleeker) from April 3rd to the 12th to try the stuff for yourself (for free)!  If you don’t live in New York, a lot of stores are already carrying vitaminwater10, so be sure you grab some to try.  I’m sure you’ll fall in love with it too, like I did!

Ok. I admit it. I liked a few of the fashion changes that happened when I moved from the frozen tundra of NYC to the warmer Southern California climate. Gone are the turtlenecks and heavy jackets (have you ever tried to look sexy while resembling a marshmallow). They are replaced by slinky tops and leather jackets.

Heck, I can even dig the change from heels to flip-flops and gladiator sandals. It’s so much easier to walk back to your room at four in the morning when you don’t have to worry about stepping on broken glass. However, there are a few fashion statements that I can never understand.

1. Wearing scarves when the weather drops below 70. I’m from NYC, so I thought I understood scarves. You wear them when it’s ten below zero to keep you face from freezing off. Or, on the off chance that you forget your concealer and turtleneck at home, you wear it to your Monday morning class to cover up the massive bruise on your neck. But nothing in the world will convince me that the thin piece of fabric wrapped three times around your throat is doing anything to keep you warm. Especially when all you’re wearing with it is a miniskirt and Uggs. This brings me to my next fashion complaint.

2. Uggs. Has anyone ever actually looked at these monstrosities? Everyone constantly complains about the loser who wear Crocs, but no one says a word about these bad boys. And I hate to break it to you, but they do not make your feet look cute. In fact, they are down-right hideous. I realize that they’re comfy. Flips-flops serve the same function. I understand that they’re warm. Wear comfy sneakers and toe socks, or even fur lined boots. Only please, could you wear shoes that don’t resemble a cross between something out of a Tolstoy novel and a six years old drawing? Uggs. Ugly. See the resemblance. Please don’t wear the shoes.

3. Tights (and leggings) as pants. I’m not sure who started the trend, but suddenly tights stopped being the geeky thing your mom told you to wear to your fourth grade Valentine’s Day party and started becoming a fashion staple. And I couldn’t be happier. I could wear dresses in the winter in NYC and not resemble an icicle. However, I have never once considered them as a substitute to pants. Why didn’t anyone else get this memo? I’m sure you’ve seen this before -  you’re in line at your cafeteria and you hear something crash. You turn towards the sound and you see a girl bending down to pick up her tray and you can see every curve of her ass through those tights.

Believe me – it’s not flattering. In fact, it’s like watching a train wreck. You know it’s going to scar you for life, but you just can’t look away. Why are girls doing this? We spend years trying to find those perfect jeans that minimize our butts while making our legs look longer. Then, in one fell swoop, you destroy any illusion that your thighs were naturally that skinny. Tights as pants do not look good on anyone, regardless of your size. They maximize every calorie and show off the body parts that you’re squeamish about showing in bed. So here’s a new rule: if you would never wear a top without the tights, please don’t wear it with them.