Okay, Justin-Bobby, if that is even your real name, let’s talk. You don’t like me because I don’t like you. But, I can’t help it; when you wear swim shorts and a pair of army boots, what choice do I have?

When you ignore the obvious plight of your hair, what do you expect me to do? Sit back and let you believe girls like those greasy locks?

Maybe I could have let it go if you weren’t such an asshole. Maybe if you didn’t just say all those nice-ish (in your own special way) things to Audrina and then leave her at the party.

No goodbye. No explanation. Just a helmet. On a couch.

Fuck you.

But enough about you. There are much bigger things to discuss this week.

Namely: Spencer’s visit to Colorado and Brody’s Beach Partayy.

Visiting Mount Butt: Am I alone in this? Did everyone but me know that Heidi comes from a farm? Like a real farm! Not just a small town; there were ANIMALS at her house. How could a family that raises horses produce that bleached blonde, fake boobed bimbo? I just don’t understand it. Read More »

If reading all about the personal lives of Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Whitney, and whoever else thinks appearing on The Hills is a smart career move hasn’t been enough for you these last few months, you can stop wondering what they’ve been up to on August 13th!

Is Lauren really not talking to Heidi? Is Whitney’s job really a job? Does Spencer really love Heidi or did he brainwash her? How’s it going with Lauren and her brand new best friend/roommate?

MTV has you covered, so spend the rest of your precious summer vacation following the lives of these people.

I won’t judge.