The Anchorman 2 Trailer is Here, Plus Diamond Thieves at Cannes [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

Happy Monday! Time for the news.

How Animals Eat Their Food [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

Who watched the MTV Movie Awards? I didn’t… I was too busy watching Despicable Me. Here are the week’s top stories.

Let Winston Read the News to You [Web Spy]

I’m usually in a pretty big rush in the mornings, so while I’d love to be able to sit down and watch 10 minutes of news or check headlines online, I don’t usually have time to do so. So when I heard about the launch of Winston, a neat app that narrates the day’s top stories to you, I knew I had to try it.

Selena Gomez Made Justin Bieber Cry [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

Yeah, I know you’re just reading this for that headline. I was like, baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhh….. Here are the week’s top stories.

The 12 Most Shocking Reactions To The Steubenville Verdict

Many empathized with the rapists saying,”They did what anyone else would do in that situation.” (What?!)

Steubenville, a New Pope, and the History of Rap [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

SPRING BRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAK!!!!! Jk, I’m in New York and it’s snowing. But I’ve decided that if I buy cute spring clothes, spring will come. Right? Right. Here are the week’s top stories just in case you missed them on your fabulous tropical vacation.

A Ton Of Celebrities’ Phone Numbers Have Been Hacked [Candy Dish]

Celebrity phone numbers get hacked. Things get cray.

Jada Pinkett Smith Accuses The Media Of Bullying Young Celebs [Sugar Binge]

Jada is not pleased with the media (I guess that includes College Candy) picking on young celebrities and she does have a point.

Baauer Is Being Sued Over Harlem Shake Samples [Sugar Binge]

Baauer is being sued for sampling the vocals on the now famous track, “Harlem Shake.R…

The ‘Tanning Mom’ Is Starring In Her Own Biopic [Candy Dish]

“Everybody wants me,” she actually said. LOL

Get Away From My Vagina, Andrew WK [Sugar Binge]

Andrew WK is the face of Playtex Fresh + Sexy wipes – yes, those new wipes made to clean your…

We Need A New National Anthem, One With Toot-Toots And Beep-Beeps [Candy Dish]

Please sign this petition to make R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix) the new National Anthem.

Occidental Students Are PO’ed About Rape Cases Getting Swept Under Rug [Sugar Binge]

Occidental College is under fire by its students for failing to report to the student body a recent sexual assault.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez Is Dead [Candy Dish]

President of Venezuela Hugo Chavez is dead at 58.

Taylor Swift Certain Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Will Burn In Hell [Sugar Binge]

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

Woman Is Fired For Having Bastard Child, Baby Daddy Is Hired Instead [Candy Dish]

A 29-year-old woman is suing Christian College because they fired her for having a baby out of “wedlock.” Clearly the school forgot it was 2013 and not feudal England.