Adderall is many things. A relief for people with ADD and ADHD. A gift from Heaven (or that sketchy guy in your Bio Lab) for people with impending exams. An extremely effective (if not the healthiest) way to drop 5 pounds. An aid for those wishing to rage all night without the use of illegal narcotics. An incredibly un-ethical method of cheating.

Wait, what?

Yes. Adderall is our generation’s answer to the cheat sheet. It’s powerful, stealthy and available to only a select few. The exclusivity of this drug lends an unfair advantage to those who take it without being prescribed it. As a drug that was created to level the playing field for people who had trouble concentrating due to a DISORDER, it is now used to gain an edge in academia by people seeking to boost their learning capacity.

People like me.

As a frequent user of Adderall as a study aid (I do not have a prescription), I constantly enjoy the benefits of this unfair little pill. Do I need it to concentrate? No. But it sure helps me re-read entire textbooks and write 10 page papers in one night and feel great the next morning. And judging by the pill’s popularity among my classmates (and among my friends who have nabbed prescriptions and sell their extra pills for spare cash), Adderall is pretty much as commonplace as Starbucks at my campus library.

But how does this affect the structure of a competitive university setting? If the people who actually need Adderall to concentrate have no answer to my magic pill, aren’t they just back where they started–scholastically disadvantaged to those without ADD or ADHD? And what about those who can’t find or afford Adderall (the going rate on my campus is $3-5 a pill for 30 mg time release capsules. That adds up when you need 4 in one week)? They’re screwed over by those of us who have access to the drug; and while their academic performance wouldn’t suffer because of mine, if my grades were superior to theirs simply because I used Adderall to boost my ability, it’s cheating.

Why then, do I continue to use something that– in addition to being illegal and unhealthy– I consider to be thoroughly unethical? Because I know my classmates sure as hell aren’t going to stop using Adderall, and I don’t want my GPA to pale in comparison to theirs. I don’t want to place lower on a skewed curve. I don’t want to lose this unfair advantage.

What would you do?

Like that time I let my best friend make his way downtown (if you get what I mean) and my other friends caught us mid sex act.

Yeah, just like that time.

My best friend is a guy who we’re going to call Dean. Once upon a time, actually right when I first started dating my now very ex-boyfriend, Dean accompanied me to a party held by another one of my friends. A casual house affair with lots of liquor because, well, that’s how we do. My new boyfriend at the time decided not to come me with me to the party because he didn’t know anyone that would be there. So Dean came with me because, he’s my best friend…and also because there would be booze.

After way too many shots the party started to die down and the guests stumbled out. I was having difficulty standing, so the party host asked me and Dean to stay over. Dean was slowly fading as well, so we took her up on the offer.

Did I mention that when I’m drunk I get pretty touchy feely? Or that I was pretty pissed off at my boyfriend for not coming? Yeah, still does not excuse what happens next.

So, my friend puts Dean and I in her extra room, which probably wasn’t a good idea. I don’t remember exactly what was said after the door was closed and the lights were off, but the next thing I remember is Ann coming in with a t-shirt for me to sleep in. Dean didn’t notice Ann, because, well, his face was pressed between my thighs and he was otherwise occupied. Her screech alerted everyone else in the house (10 people) who came running.

There are now 12 people shoved in this room watching Dean go to town. Because he still hasn’t noticed. And I’m too shocked to try to inform him, partly because I just don’t know what to say and partly because then there will be 12 people staring at my vay jay jay. Finally, he realizes the lights are on and looks up at our audience.

A lot of awkwardness followed – filled with my friend forcing a third party to sleep in the room with us – before the WTF moment set in. Let’s just say I didn’t wake up the next morning thinking to myself, “Wow, that was a fantastic idea!” But, now, a few years later, Dean and I are still best friends. We just pretend it didn’t happen. In a “I don’t recall that event” sort of way.

So, I guess there is an upside to alcohol; you always have the “I blacked out” excuse at your fingertips.