We’ve all met them. Guys who appear to be nice, wholesome, respectful-of-women types, and then they do something awful. Maybe it’s a guy you were BFF with and totally adored, but he friend-zoned you and told you he wasn’t looking for a relationship, but then was dating a super hot girl two weeks later.

Or maybe he’s like one of these guys who we all thought were okay until they pulled a super douche move and got the world to hate them.

1. Ashton Kutcher

We fell in love with his prankster sense of humor when he did Punk’d and made Justin Timberlake cry. I thought it was sweet that when he married Demi Moore, assumed the step-dad role and appeared to be good at it. Now he’s apparently cheated on Demi and they are getting divorced. What were you thinking Ashton? She’s a hot cougar!

2. Doug Hutchison

I was and still am a huge LOST fan. Why couldn’t Doug keep the image I had of him/his character a nice, clean image? He just had to go off a marry a 16-year-old (have we decided if she is actually 16 yet?) and make the world see him as a creep.

3. Kris Humphries

When I learned Kim was engaged, I was happy because now she may stop complaining about being the only sister without a family. Then I saw the wedding special and learned what a d-bag Kris is. I was not surprised that they got divorced, and I am on Kim’s side 100%.

4. Seth Cohen

Now he was only a douche for a few episodes, but still. Why was nerd-cute Seth sneaking out of his house, drinking and being a bad boy for a girl who liked girls? Leave the bad boy stuff to Ryan, Seth.

5. Jersey Shore’s Vinny

I always thought he was the nicest of the Jersey Shore guys. He loves his family, and he was the most respectful of women. Well now, he wrote a douchey rap song…

[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up, ladies.]

At any give time since I was about 14, I thought I was ready to fall in love.  Through high school crushes, adult heartbreaks and many others in between, I always stuck to the idea that I wanted to fall in love and be in a real relationship but yet seemed to be jinxed.  Unlucky.  A hopeless disaster.  I even had a few years where the old song “But Not For Me” was my theme song.  I laughed about it with friends, joked about it with strangers and secretly would cry about it alone.

A few weeks ago, I went back to my alma mater for my college reunion and it brought back the memory of a pretty embarrassing moment that reminded me of time when I felt that love was “not for me.”  But really, it was. I just wasn’t ready….

I met J through my friend Beth junior year.  She was “dating” one of his friends and he and I got stuck hanging out at after bars when they would sneak off to “date.”  J was from the area and had moved back after college so he was a little older. (OK, 25 is not really older and the elderly jokes were probably pretty inappropriate…)  He was cool, funny, a photographer and easy on the eyes.  I instantly liked everything about him.  We started hanging out.

He was different from boys my age.  He actually asked me to do things.  Real things.  He would take me to dinner and have conversations about stuff that didn’t have to do with school.  He even drove me a few hours away to visit my best friend in Madison.  We always had great conversations and he made me think outside of my college bubble. It was refreshing, delightful and SCARY AS HELL!

I don’t know when it happened but all of a sudden, I got nervous.  Real nervous.  It hit me that I could actually like this guy.  Not just like him from far away or have an unrequited crush on a guy friend that I knew would never turn into anything.   In all of those situations my heart was safe. I could actually LIKE, LIKE HIM.  So I did what any sane woman would do: I blew him off.  That’s right, I just stopped answering and returning his calls.  Awesome, right?  I know, I am really proud.

Months later, I finally grew the nerve to sheepishly smile and say hello when I saw him out. I felt terrible and feared that he hated me. In fact, it took until I was writing this very article for me to finally apologize on Facebook. Still a little douchey, I know.

It seems almost laughable to me now how much I was the loser in that scenario.  I always blamed love, but it wasn’t love’s fault; it was me who acted like an 8th grader and stopped taking his calls.  It was me who didn’t realize that great guys like him don’t actually grow on trees or come along every day.  It was me who watched him a few months later start dating my dormroom neighbor, eventually marry her and have an adorable son.  I, who most of college, bitched with my friends every day about being single, didn’t put on the big girl pants when something great actually showed up.

Before becoming a full-fledged dating coach, I had to do some pretty dark digging to really step back and become aware of why I was single when most of my friends weren’t.  That process brought me back to J and many others like him.  At any given moment that I was  ”looking for love” great guys were showing up, it is just that I wasn’t ACTUALLY ready for them.  I always had lots of excuses (he is too nice, I am not sure I really feel the spark or some other bullsh*t) that didn’t really allow me to give them a chance.  Plus, there was always a cute, clever guys around the corner that had zero interest in committing to me.  Don’t worry though – I would stick around awhile, hoping that they would come to their senses and realize how amazing I was.  Meanwhile, I never came to MY senses and realized how great the nice guys were.  The ones who cared about my day, listened to my problems, called when they said they would and genuinely were interested in creating a relationship with me.  Not some “are we dating or just hooking up” sh*t.

So ladies, I pour my heart out in these articles to help you step back in your own lives and ask yourselves: are YOU ACTUALLY READY FOR LOVE or are you hitting your head against the wall crushing on guys that are never going to go anywhere?  Dating a**holes and hoping you are happy?  Sitting, waiting for texts that may or may not come?  Saying “but I love him” knowing on the inside that nothing you have resembles love?

Here are a few questions to ask yourselves to find out if you are ready for love:
1. Are the type of guys I am attracted to capable of creating a good relationship with me?
2. Have I ever let a great guy go because I was too nervous or scared?
3. Do I like myself enough to be in a good relationship?

Not to get all cheesy, but love isn’t going to let you down.  When you keep an open mind and love yourself, great guys are going to come around.  Your job is to put on the big girl pants and find the strength to accept it when it does.  It is the best thing you could ever do.  But don’t worry if you aren’t ready quite yet; that is OK too.  Just work on liking yourself, finding out what you like and don’t like, and seeing the “diamonds in the rough.”  And make sure you stay away from becoming a Bitter Betty while you figure it all out.

Trust me, if you let it, love will show up.

Need help to get ready for love? Get all of Kira’s advice right here. Or check out Crush Camp on Kira’s new college love advice site www.thecollegecrush.com.  It’s the second best thing you will ever do.

Paris Hilton is ready to settle down.

Why nice guys suck.

Miley’s boyf is HOT.

How to hone your personal style.

Rihanna gets up close and personal with her new man.

Angie’s got nothing on Sandra Bullock.

And I’m not the only one asking questions. Take a look at some of the burning queries that have been occupying CC writers for the past week:

- Can intercultural dating ever work out for the best?

- Is paying $89 to get a bump-free bikini line worth it?

- Will frat houses be able to survive the Great Swine Flu Freakout of ’09?

- Is it weird to have a huge crush on Aladdin?

- Can anyone afford post-college apartments?

- What’s worse: sexist iPhone apps or slutty costumes for 7^th graders?

- Where can I get an adult-sized Barbie jeep of my very own?

- Would anybody seriously buy a vagina mint?

- Should you resist the urge to go Facebook official?

- What’s keeping us from actually liking the nice guys?

- And finally: Does anyone want to get some Italian food and go sailing with me?  Columbus Day be damned—that just seems like a sweet way to start off the weekend, despite the frigid temperature.

Don't run away from me. I'll get you!

I just went on a date with a guy who blathered on about himself (which is only okay when I do it!), and referred to women as, and I kid you not, “dumb bitches.” Since said date last Friday, he has not called me.

And I really, really hope he does.

Look, I like to consider myself an intelligent, rational person. But what I will never get is why a person becomes 10 billion more times appealing to me when they don’t want me. The day after our date, I was actually dreading the dude calling me…I didn’t want to spend a second evening with the most egotistical person since Tucker Max (who he, by the way, actually quoted. Good role model!). But as each day went by and no call came…I suddenly found myself only focusing on his good qualities. He was smart. He was cute. He was funny (maybe he was joking when he said women were dumb bitches…). Why was his unavailability suddenly turning him from nightmare to dreamboat?

I will admit it. It’s because I, like so many women, I am utterly addicted to the chase. While bitching and moaning that I wish guys would be more honest and just tell me what they want (and stop sleeping with my roommate when I’m at home for the weekend), I’m freaking encouraging their crappy behavior. Because it’s exciting, and I don’t know what to expect next. Because if they’re so elusive, it must be worth it… I mean, if they can afford to be so picky, they must give magic orgasms or secretly be the most intelligent person on the planet!

[Picture me yelling the next paragraph, both at you AND myself. I would write it in all caps for full effect, but I don't want to remind any of us of our mothers.]

Guess what. Just because they reject you doesn’t mean they are suddenly more “worth it.” What it means is either a.) they are an indecisive douchebag who will string you along until he finally figures out how to meet his own selfish needs, or b.) they just don’t like you. Most women like to automatically assume option A, and if it helps your sanity to believe he is just a douchebag, then go for it, trash talk away!

But, even though it hurts a bit more…option B is okay too. Part of the reason I fixate on people who reject me is because I hate failure (I cried when I got a B in high school French). If someone rejects me, I suddenly feel the need to prove myself to them…and I’m guessing a lot of women have the same mindset: we may want them, but we want them to want us. But all the “chase” means is that you are spending a heck of a lot of energy trying to catch up to someone who left you in the dust miles ago. And with all the game playing and the jumping through hoops, when are you supposed to actually enjoy the relationship?

So if us women can really claim that we want nice guys, we can’t be focusing all our efforts on the dudes sending mixed signals or no signals at all. Because there are guys out there who will call you three days after a date instead of leaving you in some weird sort of two week limbo.

Don’t make him chase you while you’re chasing someone else…I’m getting exhausted just thinking about it.

"Here's the thing about us women..."

There are so many things I’ve wanted to say to guys over the years.

Things that would no doubt make my life (and the life of the girl who came along after me) so much easier…and pleasure-filled. Or things that I never got the chance to say because the boy decided to break up with me via email instead of growing some balls and saying it to my face and I didn’t want to look like the crazy bitch who can’t handle a break up and then sends back an angry email talking about how bad he was in bed and how he’s clearly over-compensating in his life for his lack of package.

Sorry. Little bit angry right now.

The point is, if I’ve learned anything from all my he said/she said-ing, it’s that communication is key when it comes to the relationship between men and women. They can’t read our minds and we can’t read theirs.  So I started thinking about all the things I’ve wanted to say to boys over the years – everything they need to know when it comes to us ladies – and I asked my guy to do the same.

Hopefully this will clear things up for all of us and we can all live happily ever after.
Now where’s my Nobel Prize?

Seriously. There are a lot of us who actually ENJOY meeting – and dating – this special breed of douche.

Okay. I might be EXTREMELY overgeneralizing here, but I have seen a wide range of chicks fall for guys who treat them like absolute sh*t. I’ve seen girls who stick with their sub-par lovers for years and can’t give you a straight answer as to why they put up with it.

I probably fall into this category as well; nice guys like me all the time, yet I constantly shy away from them in favor of their more dramatic/mysterious/douchebag-y counterparts.

This might be like flossing a dead horse – or watching a Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL skit (again, not that I’m complaining!), but seriously, why the hell do nice guys finish last? And whose fault is it, really?

A few of my theories :

1. Girl mistakes cockiness for confidence. Because we live in an individualistic society that stresses the importance of CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM and GOING FOR THE GOLD (no matter how you get there), it is totally possible to perceive straight-up cockiness as a public display of confidence. However, in the case of the A**hole, the guy isn’t just confident – he’s practically narcissistic. He basically feels NOTHING for any other human beside himself. So, by the time the Nice Girl realizes said dude will never care about anything other than his hair, his car and sticking his you-know-what into every willing hoo-ha in town, she’s already said the “L-word” and picked out future children’s names.

2. Girl thinks she can change the bad boy. Women are natural nurturers. We like to take care of stuff, like our best friends and our nails and our MAC makeup collection. We play therapist to most everyone in our lives. It makes us feel good to make other people feel good. So, when Nice Girl meets a guy who has some issues – like being unable to emotionally connect with other people, and/or maintain a solid relationship, or has cheated on past girlfriends – Nice Girl always thinks that SHE is obviously the one who can change the A**hole’s deviant ways. Realistically, she knows this isn’t true. But we all want to believe that we are that special girl.

Eventually though, Nice Girl learns that A**hole will never change, but she sticks around because she’s still in love with the concept of who A**hole COULD be, if he only stopped hanging out with that crowd/gave up drinking/got a new job…none of which will ever happen. Girl digs A**hole because she genuinely believes that underneath all the B.S. there is a knight in shining armor just BEGGING to be set free and show up on her doorstep with a bottle of red wine and a copy of “Baby Mama.” There’s not.

3. Girl lacks confidence. Of course, we can’t blame EVERYTHING on the A**hole. According to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” I don’t think I could have said it better. Sometimes, we find ourselves attached to the A**hole because we don’t believe that we can find anyone else, or perhaps we don’t even know anything better exists. It does.

4. Chivalry kinda sorta scares Girl. Although Girl doesn’t want to admit it, being treated well sometimes feels kind of awkward. When we go out with a Nice Guy, we know he’s going to do all the “typical” gentleman-ly stuff, like open our car doors and hold our hand while walking down the street. Sometimes, this is just plain weird and makes us feel kinda funny. Nice Guy virtually loses all unique points when he acts like this because Nice Guys all. act. the. same. way. They wait too long to make a move, they call too often and they are just too damn nice.

5. Girl likes the chase. Seriously, who doesn’t? Sometimes Nice Guys are just too easy. We like it when guys don’t give in to us right away. It’s exciting and it gives us something to daydream about when we’re bored in English Lit. Lame? Yes. Understandable? Definitely.

6. Finally, sometimes A**holes just really know how to play the game. They can thoroughly convince us that they are indeed a Nice Guy when the complete opposite is true. When our friends start to point out several signs of their douchebaggery, we have a “talk” with A**hole and he convinces us that our friends are batsh*t crazy and watch too much Sex & the City and that we have nothing to worry about. The A**hole will do anything he can to prevent Nice Girl from seeing his true colors….and he’s damn good at it, too.

That’s all I got. What do you lovely CC readers think – why do girls like assholes?

[Photo from kit haselden's flickr]

We had a date, then a second and third, and then I stopped calling him.

After three dates we had kissed once, he was talking about taking me to his hometown (across the country) to meet his family, he called me beautiful all the time, and sent me texts like “a beautiful girl like you should enjoy this beautiful day – with love.” I don’t have the stomach for that kind of flattery and adoration, nor am I used to it.

It has been my experience that nice guys are too easy (and not in a slutty way…trust me). They are no challenge, they are no mystery, they are annoying. They don’t make you wait days for their call, they don’t text you on the first night you met and toss off some cheap scam-line, they don’t make you wonder if they actually like you. And where is the fun in pursuing someone if you don’t doubt yourself or how the other person feels about you, and make up rationalizations of why this cute stranger hasn’t called you back after you made out with him the other night? Sure, I know I am a masochist – but when a guy is disinterested is when I get onboard.

Nice guys aren’t a myth, and they aren’t few and far between, they are out there — and there is a reason no one wants them: they are too nice. They will complement you genuinely and often, they won’t make a move on the first date – they usually don’t ever make the first move, they say things like “I just like looking at you” and are serious, they want to know everything about you, and they try to do things like introduce you to their parents after 3 dates.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still date the occasional nice guy, but only after a rough stint with a not-so-nice-guy. It’s good for the ego and helps me get back in the saddle for more mind games and drama.

In my dating experience, I have gone back and forth. After getting my heart broken by the asshole frat guy, I opted for a more conservative wholesome dude. The only problem was that I had to force myself to be attracted to the latter and eventually gave up on that after a few months. I have now settled somewhere in the middle with my current bf. Or at least I’ll keep telling myself that.

Regardless, I do think that nice guys tend to get the short end of the deal; I stumbled upon a website recently with many entertaining reasons why women tend to prefer bad guys, from a woman’s point of view.

Here are a few of my personal favorites from the list that I found funny and actually somewhat true:

“Nice guys feel so undeserving of ‘awesome you’ that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.”

“Nice guys sit there like passive puppies, waiting for their girl to make all the moves. This is because woman love to feel undesirable.”

“Nice Guys really don’t like themselves. Insecurity is not sexy, it is suffocating, clinging and obsessive. Issues with nice men are unbearable. Issues with jerks are workable.”

Okay, okay, maybe some of these are a bit harsh. But check out the list and see for yourself who you side with.