Lesson 24: Nicholas Sparks Is Not The Author Of Your Life

If you have yet to endure the torture that is a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon, I highly suggest you look into it purely as a service to yourself. Though the sappy movies seem out of place in single girl world, they’re actually a pretty effective learning tool – of what not to do.

Nicholas Sparks, author of our favorite tear jerking, secret guilty pleasure movies, shared the formula to his book-to-movie love stories. “(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You’ve got a woman, she’s down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he’s got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after,” Sparks said.

While the roller coaster dramas from the likes of The Notebook and Dear John work beautifully on your television screen, they don’t transfer so well into reality. Even as Sparks’ novels point out some valid points about love, like that it can happen unexpectedly or that it can change a person or it’s tendency for turbulence, it’s imperative that single girls not set a “Nicholas Sparks Standard” for their love lives.

First things first, you don’t have to be down on your luck to fall in love. Plenty of women find love when they achieve all of the goals they set for themselves, when their lives are vibrant and full without the existence of a go-to plus one. And as much as I hate to sound like your mother, people tend to be attracted to other happy people. A damsel in distress does not always a love story make. So live your life, fall in love or don’t, but don’t think that love only comes along when you need to be lifted out of a rut.

Secondly, our modern dating scene does not cater well to the idea of falling “desperately in love.” Falling in love? Yes. Desperately? Not so much. I mean, what girl these days wants to be viewed as desperate? And if single girls spend so much energy trying not to appear desperate, what makes us think that single guys would want to be portrayed that way? What with school, social lives, family, mid-college crises, nobody our age has the time to fall “desperately in love.” Though there are always exceptions, nowadays carving your initials into a tree makes way for more efficient proclamations of his love, like a quickie text in between classes.

Lastly, changing a person rarely ensures a “happily ever after.” If there’s anything The Hills has taught me, it’s that you can’t change a person. (Sure, the trials and tribulations of Lauren Conrad are not the most credible source for wisdom, but good advice nonetheless.) Love is not a permission slip to change a man. Love can change people but people can’t change people.

There will always be those girls who believe their lives will someday be a Nicholas Sparks novel and they believe it to the core because they need to. Without the “Nicholas Sparks Standard” those girls wouldn’t survive because they’re too afraid to figure out a love story mold of their own. Truly great love stories exist but that doesn’t mean they have to follow the formula of the ones that have already been written.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 23 rules of the Single Girl Society right here.

Exclusive: ‘The Last Song‘ star Miley Cyrus dishes on ‘When I Look at You,’ the theme to her new film, which hit theaters yesterday, in an exclusive video that PopEater is proud to unveil. According to Miley, the emotional ballad is “a song that really describes this entire movie,” which is based on the bestselling novel by Nicholas Sparks (famed author of ‘The Notebook’ and ‘Dear John’).

In the video, we get a sneak peak at some scenes with Cyrus and her co-star — and current boyfriend — Liam Hemsworth. Cyrus also talks about learning the piano for her role as Ronnie Miller, a teen who rejects an acceptance letter from Julliard. Have a look at the ‘Last Song’ featurette right here.

Yes ladies, tomorrow marks the release of Dear John and I. just. can’t. wait.

Call me cheesy. Call me girly. Call me pathetic. Just don’t call me between the hours of 9pm and 11pm when I’m soaking up the chick-flick of the decade with my girls and an overpriced, oversized package of Twizzlers.

And don’t tell me you’re not excited about this one, too. Dear John has all the elements of the perfect movie and here are 5 reasons why I’m already holding tickets to the opening night premiere.

1. I love a good cry. Dear John is adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel by the same name.  Sparks also happens to be the tear-jerking genius who wrote The Notebook and A Walk to Remember, both of which left me heaving into my Diet Coke in the movie theater. As sadistic as it sounds, sometimes I just need me a good cry and after having watched the trailer, um, a lot, I’m positive this movie will give me one.

2. Channing Tatum. As if I even need to mention this. I have admired his chiseled jaw, gorgeous lips, and Adonis-like abs since Step Up came out in 2006. Even after I finally gave up trying to teach myself all the dances in the movie, my love for Channing stuck with me. He was my profile picture on Facebook for awhile. I mentioned him in my final article for my school newspaper. I planned my life as Mrs. Zahra Tatum…

Where was I?

Oh yeah, anyways, all psychosis aside, yes, he was a stripper (NSFW), but he’s gaining real credibility as an actor. I know we’ll get to see a more serious side of him in Dear John, and I’m excited to see how his acting ability has grown. And his pectorals. Because he’s shirtless in this movie…a lot.

3. The trailer is girly glue. You have all the elements of a perfect romance movie: the shirtless guy with sex appeal, the strangely beautiful girl, the gut-wrenching separation and the hot kiss (and I mean hot - if you don’t want to see the movie after that, you don’t have a heart…or a libido).

4. Amanda Seyfried. I am a huge Amanda fan. She went from an unknown to a cult favorite in Mean Girls. Now, she’s a rapidly rising star. She has also found the quickest way to my heart by stunning me every time I see her on the red carpet. Although part of me wants to hate her for getting to roll around half naked with Channing, I can’t help but admire her quirky beauty and be eager to see her try her hand at a romance movie.

5. Everyone Wants Some Lovin’. In this month dedicated to love and romance, it’s nice for those of us without either to get to witness both (without having to watch our friends get all gross, kissy and lovey dovey in front of our faces). And it doesn’t hurt that the guy in love happens to be really, ridiculously good looking.

Did I mention that Channing will be shirtless?
Sigh. I can’t wait!

And this is coming from a self-proclaimed reading snob.

I’ve created a list of my top 4 books made into movies. Granted, I have not seen every movie ever made that is based on a book, but I think I have a pretty good base to choose from. Let me know if you agree or add your own to the list

#4. Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I know that I’m probably going to get flack for this one from the hard-core fans, but making “The Lord of the Rings” novels into movies was not only one of the best financial decisions ever made (raking in a cool BILLION on ticket sales and rentals alone), but also a smart pop culture move. Before the movies, the books and whole “culture” of LOTR were fairly underground; some people read the books in school, but other than that, they weren’t terribly popular. And I’d like to think I know why.

I tried to read the books. I barely got through the first one and had to give up. I’m not a detail person so I found several pages describing the movement of grass in a valley to be WAY too much. But then I saw the movie – which obviously eliminated all that need for boring description – and it. was. awesome. The story, the drama, the imagination that went into coming up with all those characters and details. Good move with the movie, LOTR people. A good move, indeed.

#3. Girl, Interrupted

“Girl, Interrupted” is actually an autobiography. Susanna Kaysen was committed to a mental institution in 1967 because reality had become too “dense.” Susanna was certainly not crazy, so her account of her 2 year stay makes for a super interesting read. However, the visual is so much more compelling. You can read about the interesting characters she encounters all you like, but when you actually see them there is a much greater impact. Matched with Angelina Jolie and Winona Ryder’s superb acting skills (critically acclaimed, in fact!), the story just takes flight. I found myself to be much more attached to and affected by the movie compared to the book. Some things you just have to see for yourself, I guess!

#2. The Bourne Trilogy

After I realized that the Jason Bourne movies were actually based on action novels, I rushed to the library to pick up “The Bourne Identity.” I was shocked at the size of it: a whopping 544 pages! Needless to say I less-than-quickly read through it and was left wanting more. The movies were so action-packed and kept me on the edge of my seat and the books fell a little bit flat. Perhaps this was because I had already seen the movie, but I really feel like the book is a bit of overkill. For example, the first 60 or so pages explain how a Frenchman found Jason floating in the middle of the ocean and nursed him back to health on an island. In the movie, that same part took about 30 seconds to explain. I just found that the screenwriters did a really good job of cutting out the unnecessary junk in the book and making a really streamlined, fast-paced thriller (as all action books and movies should be).

#1. The Notebook

Originally written by Nicholas Sparks, “The Notebook” was a best-selling novel. But despite how well it did as a book, the movie just blows it out of the water. I won’t give away too much plot for those 3 people on earth who haven’t seen it, but basically, it revolves around the epic love story of Allie and Noah. From their humble beginnings as teenagers, to a rough time where they almost lose each other due to family problems, to them as seniors, the movie encompasses their entire lives together.

The film is heartfelt and tells the story so perfectly, jumping between the past to the present. The cast was perfect and everything from the script to the scenes to the superb acting just draws the viewer into the story. I’m typically not a crier, but I cry every. time. I watch this movie. It truly is book-to-movie perfection.