While we’re all busy staying up until ridiculous hours of the night studying for finals and attempting to get some holiday shopping done at the same time, Hollywood has been… breaking up some of it’s cutest couples? At least it’s reassuring to know that while we’re stressing, celebs are always there to keep us entertained.

An A+ on Your 20-Page Research Paper

1. Zac and Vanessa call it quits. This might possibly be the most devastating breakup since Brad and Jen. Who didn’t love this adorable Disney couple? They stayed together for 4 years, survived Vanessa’s naked pics, the gay rumors surrounding Zac, and Megan Fox’s flirting – we thought they’d be together forever! And now I’m just confused… should I be upset that they’re over, or excited that Zac is single again? Because as much as I loved this couple, I mean… look at him.

2. Golden Globe nominations were announced! Awards season is upon us, and I can’t wait to bum out on the couch with some popcorn to see who wins what and who wears what! As predicted, the nominations were full of Inception, The Social Network, The Fighter, and Black Swan. I, of course, was ecstatic to see James Franco nominated for Best Actor. If you haven’t seen all of these, get ready to do some serious movie-watching so you’re not behind.

3. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are getting a divorce. It upsets me that two of the most beautiful people ever can’t even make it work. They were married for two years and were one of Hollywood’s most private couples – so private, in fact, that even friends were shocked by the split. The couple has released a statement saying, “While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.” Hey, at least they understand this business.

4.  Miley fans are out of control crazy. Since Miley Cyrus’s “surprising” bong smoking video hit the Internet, everyone has been wondering not only why she was stupid enough to be video-taped doing it, but also… who had the brains to record it? Well, it’s now being reported that Anna Oliver, a friend of Miley’s and -GASP- Demi Lovato’s, was the one who allegedly taped the incident. Was it an elaborate plot of revenge or just innocent fun? We have no idea, but Miley fans are out for blood. No, seriously. They’ve been harassing Anna Oliver on Twitter since the news came out, even going as far as to create Twitters JUST to send her death threats. Beetches are crazy!

5. Mark Zuckerberg was named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. Mark Zuckerberg is the world’s youngest billionaire who gives his money away to people who need it, he’s changed the way we interact, and oh yeah, he created Facebook. And considering I’ve never met a college student (or really anyone, for that matter) who can’t function if they’re not up-to-date with Facebook, this achievement is beyond huge. So yeah, I’d say he deserves this honor more than anyone today.

A D on That Sociology Final

1. The Adams Family – I mean the Kardashians – took a really weird Christmas card picture. This is just weird. Forget the fact that there is nothing Christmasy at all about this – they don’t even look real. I literally had to do a double-take when I first saw it because I thought they were wax mannequins. Why are they wearing these ridiculous outfits for a Christmas card? And why are none of them even smiling? I’m just creeped out.

2. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannnon are having twins! Yay, the rumors were true – not one, but two little babies will be invading their lives soon! No matter how weird you may think this couple is (I can’t be the only one), this is still cute, and you can’t help but be happy for them.

3. Even more couples break up. Dexter stars Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter file for divorce (maybe playing siblings on the show was getting too weird?), and Nip/Tuck star Dylan Walsh is also divorcing his wife. Oh yeah, and Elizabeth Hurley and her husband are divorcing. Did I miss something? Is this divorce week?

4. Chelsea Handler pretty much confirmed she’s dating 50 Cent. She tweeted a photo of them in bed, and said, “I don’t know why anyone thinks I would ever date a rapper.” They may win the award for most random couple of 2010.

5. Gwyneth Paltrow is returning to Glee! While I never thought she’d be good on the show, she ended being pretty great. So all I have to say to this is, yay!

Before Saturday nights were all about staying up late and quizzing each other with exam flashcards and making a lot of bad choices, they were about tricking your babysitter into breaking your bedtime rules so you could watch SNICK. Because it wasn’t a quality weekend if you didn’t scare yourself into never sleeping after watching Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Due to our unwavering ’90s obsession, we felt obligated to do some research and find out what happened to some of your favorite SNICK stars.

Clarissa of Clarissa Explains It All

Before casting her spell on Harvey Kinkle and tweens nationwide, Melissa Joan Hart was a rather famous, scrunchie-sporting high-schooler. While dealing with annoyances such as her brother, Ferguson, Clarissa philosophized about the happenings of teenage life. After a lull in her career, Melissa Joan Hart has recently hooked up with fellow ’90s star (and fellow DWTS alum) Joey Lawrence as co-stars in ABC Family’s Melissa & Joey. Let’s hope their sitcom is more entertaining than their recent made for TV movie, My Fake Fiance.

Sam of Clarissa Explains It All

Before the days of Joey and Dawson, there was a ladder-fueled friendship that all girls adored. Every time I found myself in some kind of puzzle at the ripe age of nine, I wished I was as lucky as Clarissa. Sam, played by Sean O’Neal, was Clarrisa’s best (and forever platonic) friend. Nowadays, Sean O’Neal describes himself as a “triple threat” that the business loves. But, based on his IMDB profile, I’m not sure what business he is referring to.

Nick of All That

Joining the cast of All That in 1998, Nick Cannon launched his career by entertaining young audiences with skits such as this. He eventually starred in a show of an eponymous title, enjoyed a short-lived vocation as a rapper with hits like Gigolo, and got his band-geek on in Drumline. Now, Cannon has made several career-furthering moves, such as becoming the host of America’s Got Talent and marrying singer Mariah Carey.

Kel of All That

A few months ago, an Internet rumor spread like a Colorado wildfire that Kel Mitchell had died. I was heartbroken, praying that such a tragedy had not occurred. Lucky for me, the only thing that appeared to be truly dead was Kel’s career as a leading funnyman. Starring on All That during its prime, Kel created characters that will forever go hand-in-hand with my childhood memories. Anyone else still crave a Good Burger? With two new movies coming out in the near future, I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for Kel and a possible comeback. Hopefully, he’ll still be rocking the braided bob and raspy, yeah-dude lingo.

Alex of The Secret World of Alex Mack

Words cannot describe how obsessed I was with Alex Mack. I watched every episode, had the book series, and often wished that I would have some weird reaction to soap – giving me the power to transform into a liquid blob— while washing the dinner dishes. You would think Larisa Oleynik’s coolness had peaked as Alex, but she went on to play Bianca Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You, helping us teenage girls define the difference between like and love. With a few roles here and there, she also starred in a movie titled Relative Obscurity in 2007, which seems to reflect her current state in Hollywood.

Ray of The Secret World of Alex Mack

Darris Love played Alex Mack’s best friend, Ray. Thinking her powers were “cool”, he kept Alex’s secret. Since, Darris had several guest roles on shows like Sister, Sister; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; and CSI. Bet he wishes kids were still into chemically mutated teenage girls instead of blue, 8-foot tall aliens.

Big Pete Wrigley of The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Before joining Pete and Pete as one half of America’s favorite red-headed duo, Mike Maronna starred in both Home Alone movies. With lines like “Kevin, you’re such a disease” you would think that Maronna had a bright future ahead of him. He’s had a few small roles recently, including a stint in a Nada Surf video, but nothing of great significance. Perhaps if he followed his old pal Artie the Strongest Man in the World’s workout plan, he would see some better results.

Shelby Woo of The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo

Cracking spooky cases with the help of her friends, Irene Ng portrayed whip-smart teenager Shelby Woo for three years on Snick. Turns out her intelligence was no act. After playing adolescent Lindo in critically acclaimed The Joy Luck Club, she went on to attend Harvard and work at Merrill Lynch.

Bobby Walker of Cousin Skeeter

My love for Cousin Skeeter may have to do with my childhood fascination with all things puppet-related. Or, it may have been due to Robert Ri’chard and his gorgeous green eyes. He put up with all of Skeeter’s craziness for 16 episodes. Since, he’s had many small roles (with real people) and was seen most recently as recurring character Derek on Meet the Browns.

What’s going on this week? Apparently not much besides Eat Pray Love. At least that’s all I’m hearing about these days in Hollywood. I swear, if I see Julia Roberts sitting innocently on that bench suggestively eating her cup of fro yo one more time, I’m going to scream. Eat it like a woman, Roberts. Stop looking at the birds, OK? At first I really did want to grab my girls and sneak a tube of cookie dough into the theater for a little Eat Pray Love action. But now? I’d rather eat, eat, sleep.

Anyway, besides the cutesy movie about a women traveling the world to find herself (I personally don’t need to leave America and In & Out Burgers to find myself), what else is going on in Hollywood, you ask?  Well, Rachel Bilson recently went on a Costco shopping spree. (Welcome to singlehood, homegirl!) Aaaaand that’s about it.

Bright Eyed And Bushy Tailed.

J-Lo’s Diva Ways Ruin Her Chances As An Idol Judge. J-Lo was given a chance at career redemption on a silver platter courtesy of American Idol, and what did she do? Chuck that platter across the room. Don’t you know this diva only accepts platinum, FOX?  Due to her high demands and general diva-ness, JLo has officially lost the gig… and any future in Hollywood. FOX refuses to comment, but I don’t. Way to go, Jenny from the Block. Being a super bitch doesn’t always pay off, does it?

Bill O’Reilly gets all up in Jennifer Aniston’s business. Not sure why anyone cares what he thinks, but O’Reilly made some snide comment about Aniston’s choice to let science determine her future as a single mother, reportedly saying her decision was “destructive to society” and “diminishing the role of dad.” Obviously, Jen handled his douchebaggery with poise and class. Way to go, Aniston. Can we all just leave her alone now?

Fantasia Is Headed Home From the Hospital After Suicide Attempt. After overdosing on aspirin and sleep aids, Fantasia Barrino is home and doing OK.  Though her people are claiming it was all a big misunderstanding, we’re just hoping she gets help and gets better.

Judge Revel Removes Herself From Lindsay’s Case. It’s official, La Lohan’s judge (Marsha Revel) has had enough of those leggings and straggly blond hair.  She has removed herself from the case after allegations she improperly contacted people involved in the case. Did she DM Samantha Ronson on Twitter?? Not quite.  Reports state she contacted “participants and experts” without notifying lawyers in advance.  Whatever it is, she’s outta there, which seems to be quite a trend when it comes to Lohan’s case.

Glee Clothing Line on Sale Sunday! I’m so excited I could break into song right on my kitchen counter! The fashion line will be available exclusively at Macy’s and will include t-shirts, tops and hoodies priced $19.99-$34.99.  Wait, does this mean there will be Cheerio inspired uniform tops? Finn inspired jock-wear? Sue Sylvester wind pants? Be still my heart.

Yawn.

Britney Spears Tweets About New Album. So now we know why she hasn’t had any time to get that weave fixed….

Taylor Swift Sings About Permanent Markers. Swiftie has released a new song about drawing an X through an old boyfriend’s face in permanent marker.  It’s called ‘Permanent Marker’ in case you missed it and despite the terrible song name, it’s surprisingly sweet and cute for such passionately angry lyrics.

Christiano Ronaldo Reaches 10 Million Likes On Facebook. This dude is becoming cooler than J-Beebsie. He’s reached 10 million likes over Facebook and counting! I think it has something to do with pouring ice cold water all over his face. I would like to take this moment to cordially thank H2O. That is all.

Joe Jonas Gets Arrested. Sorta. I’m really not sure what to say about this.

Nick Cannon Nominates Mariah to be Next American Idol Judge. Oh Nick Cannon, this is so cute! He’s nominating his little love muffin Mariah to be the next American Idol judge.  He says, “I know she would love to do Idol, let’s start a campaign!” With Jessica Simpson and J-Lo out of the running, Nick and Mariah’s dream may just come true.

Oh and one more thing before I go!  I’m sorry but Marc Jacobs is making my face melt off and steaming up my reading glasses (yes, I’m wearing them, and yes I can barely see) in the new Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot. Yum. O.

Oh no! Ugly Betty got cancelled?!

Is Leo gonna put a ring on it?

Is Kelis trying to pull a Gaga on us?

This is an interesting model spread…

9 glamorous hairstyles to try.

Nick Cannon wants babies.

So a few weeks ago, I realized that I, as a fifth year college senior in the midst of a six-month dry spell, had no choice but to join the ranks of these famous females. Naturally, I started to scour the dorms and dining halls for my next victim. I eventually made my first move on a moderately successful, intelligent, sophomore cutie in my Lit class. And, because I am intelligent, mature, honest and amazing in the bedroom (all the reasons young men are said to swoon after older ladies), he instantly fell into my trap.

Needless to say, things have been going along swimmingly with my little stallion. I find his boyish charm, well, charming. I actually enjoy that his face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom and it doesn’t itch when we kiss. I even like that he still thinks that me inviting him back to my house to stay the night after a party is a “first date.” Unlike a lot of my other same-age guy pals, who are now proud owners of beer bellies and have 100 page theses to write, younger guys offer a little window through which I can relive my younger past.

But there are a couple things I’ve noticed about dating a younger man. Because college is old hat to me and I’m (theoretically) a mature woman about to move out into the “real world,” my little cutie and I are not exactly on the same page when it comes to lots of things. Here are a couple minor issues I’ve noticed about dating a younger man that every potential cougar needs to know:

1) He’s still all about racking up the numbers. Young college guys are focused on one thing and one thing only: booty. And lots of it. Enough of it to beat their boys in the booty race. You want a relationship? Maybe the youngsters aren’t for you.

2) He might not have his own cash. Though there is something to be said when your little cutie pulls out daddy’s platinum card to pay for dinner. No complaints here.

3) He’s got a lot to learn. In the classroom, in the bedroom, in life…. This isn’t always a bad thing, but you want to be a girlfriend, not a professor (unless it’s in a role playing scenario).

4) He’s still thinking in the short term. Which is awesome when it means that he doesn’t mind blowing off class and lying in bed all day cuddling with you. However, when you’re about to enter the real world (where smart, successful, single guys are a dying breed), it might feel a little like you’re wasting your time… and your last few years without cellulite.

5) He’s not 21. Which means you are going to have to skip the bars with your friends to shadily chug beers in his dorm room, or worse, elbow your way through a sweaty, smelly frat party full of sweaty, smelly freshmen.

Even though it might sound like I’m bashing the babies, I’m not. Younger guys are still totally datable (or at least, hook-upable). They’ll look up to you, trust that you know what’s best, give you your space, and also be able to keep up with you in the sack. As long as you can handle a few drawbacks (which honestly, what relationship doesn’t have some?), what’s not to love?

Have any of you had experiences with dating younger? Share them in the comments!

Obviously, she was mortified.

10 new sex positions to try.

TMI, Nick Cannon, TMI.

7 looks to steal from your BF’s closet.

Zac Efron naked! (Well, sort of…)

Tips for getting up and at ‘em in the morning.

No, she’s not preggers. They are adopting.

McSteamy or McSnorty?

Fall fashion = lots and lots of brown.

Chris Brown pissed the wrong woman off.

Man tries to breastfeed.

Are Tori and Dean dunzo!?

When that happens, it also shows how ridiculously unprofessional you are.

Last night, Paula Abdul took to her official Twitter account to announce that she is not returning to judge American Idol next year. As usual, the major news outlets picked up on this immediately and began reporting it, actually quoting her tweets (one of which replaces the word “one” with “1.”) Now, it’s one thing for a celebrity – or anyone, for that matter – to tweet their feelings about a breaking story. It’s another thing entirely to break the story first on your Twitter page.

This isn’t the first time that a celebrity has taken to Twitter to make information public that should be private, or at least released through another medium. In June, Perez Hilton tweeted about being assaulted by Will.I.Am’s manager just after the incident occurred, pleading for help. Currently, Eminem and Nick Cannon are engaged in a very public Twitter feud that is borderline…well, actually, completely ridiculous.

I have no problem with celebrities using Twitter to reach out to their fans and make themselves seem more down-to-earth. But celebrity Twitters are not substitutes for a good publicist and a telephone, and they are definitely not replacements for reputable news organizations. Yes, there is virtue in hearing news straight from the horse’s mouth, but an announcement on the Internet written with 140 characters or less screams a lack of professionalism.

As much as I love Twitter, a big problem I have with it is that it acts as an enabler for attention-hungry celebrities and wannabe celebs. Clearly, by tweeting information that should remain private or be broadcast through different channel, these celebrities are looking to draw attention to themselves. Paula Abdul wanted to be the one to break the news about American Idol, not her publicist or the Fox network. Perez Hilton wanted to create a melodramatic scene on his Twitter in order to be noticed. These celebrities are just desperate for the limelight, and tweeting in such a way is just another means of getting it.

I am a chronic list-maker, whether I have to make a difficult decision or not.  Lists help me organize my thoughts and remember important facts and details that I need for later.  However, there are some things that I would rather forget and that’s what this week’s showdown concerns.

Everyone loves a diva.  Well, not really.  They just think that everyone loves them, despite having no real talent or anything to offer to society.  When you say “diva,” two women jump to mind – Mariah Carey and Jenifer Lopez.  The glitz, the glamor, the bad acting and the attitude (ohhh the attitude) define who they are.   Where would we be without these ladies?  Probably in a much less annoying world, but let’s make a list just to be sure…

Career
Mariah Carey is a machine, pumping out annoying hit after annoying hit.  Yes, I hate her music.  No, I can’t stop myself from trying to sing along with her in my car.  However, I categorically refuse to watch Glitter or any of her other attempts at “acting.”  Most of the rest of the world seems to refuse as well.

Jennifer Lopez used to be a good actress (Selena! I was so down with watching that movie every day in fifth grade…in between Titanic showings, of course).  Then something terrible happened and she started making movies like Angel Eyes and Monster-In-Law.  Her music isn’t great either.

Point: Mariah Carey. Every time I sing one of her songs, I die a little inside.  Plus,  you can’t beat Selena.

Diva Stock
Mariah Carey is infamous for her diva-like tendencies, from canceling TV appearances at the last minute to traveling with her own furniture.  She’s had highly publicized emotional “break downs” and reappeared in the media, batting her eyelashes, almost instantly once she got the attention she craved.  Really, Mariah?  You’re from Long Island.  Calm yourself.

Jennifer Lopez has earned plenty of diva status with her pages of requests that are sent anywhere she intends to roll into with her entourage (which, btw, includes her hairstylist and personal chef).  I just can’t see what would make her think she can order people to change entire lighting schemes just to make herself look better…although that is an amazing idea and I will so start to require complimentary lighting wherever I go.

Point: Jennifer Lopez. Jenny from the Block?  I’m so sure.  Let’s see what happens if you roll up in the Bronx with your entourage and list of demands.

Camera Whorishness
Mariah Carey loves her some photography.  And by photography, I mean she loves when people take pictures of her (and talk about her and admire her and etc., etc.).  Unfortunately, the camera doesn’t love her back and we’re all stuck with unfortunate results plastered all over our gossip mags and blogs.

Jennifer Lopez also loves the spotlight, but thanks to the influence of her intensely-private husband, seems to be stepping back more often.  I mean, her face is still everywhere, but I don’t see it even when my eyes are closed anymore.  Win.

Point: Mariah Carey. Just…stop.

Love Life
Mariah Carey has been tied to quite a few celeb dudes in her time (was anyone else supremely amused by the whole Eminem thing??) and was married early on in her career.  Now she’s married again and to Nick Cannon.  Was he drugged?  I feel like he’s a pretty chill and funny dude…what’s he doing with that diva??

Jennifer Lopez moves from high-profile relationship to high-profile relationship (by relationship, I mean marriage…she’s had a lot of those) with alarming (but somewhat impressive) speed.  From her time spent with Puffy (there was a pretty gangsta gun fight in there somewhere, I think) to her participation as half of the beast that was the original Bennifer.

Point: Jennifer Lopez. Oh, Bennifer.  How you used to amuse me.

Celebretard Prize Goes To: Mariah Carey. Aging divas are generally unpleasant creatures, but Mariah takes the cake (and definitely eats it, too) with her sliding career and increasing amount of attitude.  Unfortunately, that won’t prevent me from belting out “Touch My Body” in my car the next time it comes on the radio.  Fail.

Nick Cannon’s got beef with Eminem.

Looks like the Gotti fam is out of money.

What makes someone kissable?

Hayden Panettiere thinks sex is gross.

We’re lovin’ the doily tanks.