She said no to rehab. And apparently also to food.
I’m not Amy Winehouse’s biggest fan. Not because I don’t think she’s talented—I do—I just don’t get her. I don’t get anyone who’s famous and then misses gigs and seems genuinely uninterested in the fans who gave them that fame. She’s a little too weird for me. But I figured the baby-who-hasn’t-eaten-for-weeks look and her huge hair was a thing she had cultivated for a while, a trademark. Part of her essence.
I figured wrong.
It seems like Ms. Winehouse was completely normal looking a few years ago. Buxom, smiling, basically tattoo free, and clean. She looked cute and friendly. Well fed. In no need of rehab.
Then something happened. Not being a Winehouse scholar, I have no idea what that something was. Massive amounts of drugs? Read More »
In recent weeks the rag mags and bloggers have been speculating that emaciated socialite Nicole Richie is with child. The recovering heroine addict and anorexic tabloid favorite has been seen shopping for baby clothes, avoiding cigarettes, and even staying off the strip. But could this be a result of a pregnancy or just your average lack of protein?
Medically when the body is deprived of protein it becomes bloated, almost fat due to retention of water. As we see in photos form starving third world countries it is a common occurrence when the body suffers from a deficiency or lack of proper nutrition. But this is a Hollywood famine, starving in the finest of all restaurants while stowing a pharmacy away in your Balenciaga. In a world where every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger, we worship a culture of excess, fast food, binges and purges. Some children would even call Richie their idol; magazines promote her look as improved then attack her for being too skinny days later. Although anorexia is a disease it seems somehow unfair that the entire world is starving while America is on a crash diet.
In the fall of 2003 Nicole was arrested for Heroin possession and was sentenced to rehab. She claims that she has always been thin but gained weight while in the facility which would explain her appearance on The Simple Life shortly after. Over a period of three years Richie went from a healthy girl to a woman in the body of a child at 5’2’’ weighting just under 90lbs. Read More »
The two have only been together a few months, but sources are saying that Nicole definitely has one in the oven, and might have just done so to keep herself out of jail.
What? you say, that’s a horrible reason to have a baby! You say that because you’re a rational human being with a tight grip on reality. Ms. Richie is not like you. She has a famous dad and lots of money and spends her time doing nothing. She’s also facing jail time for a DWI arrest that happened earlier this year. Dealing with consequences is not on her agenda—it’s too full of doing nothing—and since she’s removed from the normalcy you and I inhabit every day, having a baby to stay out of jail probably seems like a fantastic idea.
What do you think, lovelies? Is Nicole spoiled enough to have herself a Keep-Me-Out-Of-Jail baby? Or is it just media speculation?
Everyday there’s something new in the gossip columns about Nicole Richie’s skeletal frame. And there’s no doubt about it—girl needs to eat! She looks like she could be blown over by a gust of wind. All those pregnancy rumors? I honestly hope not cause that’s going to be one seriously unhealthy little baby.
Keira Knightley and Kate Bosworth also face a lot of scrutiny over their diminished frames. They can lie all they want about being healthy, but their rib cages poking out say otherwise. Actually Kate’s looking a little healthier, so that’s good. Mmmm food…isn’t it good, Kate?
OK, so all these girls are uber-skinny, and I’m obviously sort of a hater. You can call it jealousy, and it partially is. I eat a piece of lettuce and its girth is immediately added to the side of my thighs. And it makes me maaaaaaad. I really, really just want a cheeseburger, but my butt can’t handle the added pounds. But I would much rather look like the lovely Kate Winslet than any of these scary looking pre-pubescent shaped actresses.
What makes me even more mad, though, is image they portray to women. When my friend’s 13 year-old sister said she thought Nicole Ritchie had the perfect body I almost shoved a sheet of Oreos down her throat right then and there. I mean, really?
She reportedly has a 23 inch waist—which, after doing some research, I learned is equivalent to the waist of a seven year old child! Some people are naturally really skinny—and Victoria is obviously one of them— but if you look at Posh over the years, she’s definitely been withering away. Read More »
Nicole Richie is whacked!!! Someone needs to throw her into an unmarked van and force her to live in a psychiatric ward until she can start acting like a normal human.
Not only did Nicole throw a barbeque on Memorial Day that almost killed Mischa Barton, but the invitation to that barbeque is so stupid I have a headache (any and all punctuation attempted by yours truly):
“My fellow Americans, its that time of year! To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer. Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream, take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems. Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans. Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!”
All my favorite people — Lindsay, Britney, Nicole, even Marc Jacobs!– seem to be going or have gone to rehab. My question is: When can I go?? From what I’m reading these days, rehab is like the new hot club you have to wait an hour on line to get into, only to be rejected at the door because you’re not cool or famous enough.
I’m assuming normal folk like you and me go to rehab all the time, it’s just not reported in the NY Post. I was generally brought up to think that rehab was a place I should not aspire to go to. And I’ll admit, even though I know James Frey was a big faker with A Million Little Pieces, I still drank seltzer with lime for a month after reading it whenever I went out — my plebeian version of rehab.
Nevertheless, rehab doesn’t seem to be doing these celebs any good — the process has become a ruse for attaining health and avoiding jail time. Read More »
There’s something to be said about looking sweet when you’re about to be getting down and dirty. I think it harks back to the male fantasy of the hidden sexpot—a woman transformed from a squeaky clean innocent to a saucy little minx with a heavy dose of manly seduction.
That’s the optimistic view. The scandalous theory is that men are inherently creeps who all have a little Humbert in them and when you dress in cute little outfits like a coed Lolita, they get all hot and bothered. I prefer to stick with the sexpot idea…for obvious reasons.
So if you’re in the mood for a pair of frilly little underpinnings guaranteed to make him sweat, look no further than Rumba boy shorts from Honeydew Intimates.
They are an intimate masterpiece, with the body of the shorts made of mesh (the tasteful kind), covered in layers of thin ruffles, in cute prints like apples, bananas, cherries, pineapples, watermelons, and strawberries—like a lingerie fruit salad or something. Plus, the shorts are topped off with a dainty satin bow and look great on all body types from you Nicole Richie types (she’s modeling the shorts in a Vanity Fair shot above) to ladies with curves like Beyonce.
At only $16 bucks a pop you can afford to get a couple of pairs.
In a surprise move, it’s trendy to look like skeletor. I can’t say that I’m terribly thrilled or shocked about this recent turn of events. With voluminous spring fashions, the hot part of your body to show off is your clavicle. The clavic-what? It’s that bone between your collarbones, prominent on super-skinny celebs like Kate Bosworth and Kiera Knightly.
Even though everyone and their mom is obsessed with thinness, it’s definitely a strange part of the body to be stressing about. I mean, it’s just a little bone. The real appeal of showing this bit off is that it proves that under your billowy new dress, you’re skinny little thing. “The clothing threatens to make you look overweight and so you need a certain body to undo that threat,” said an expert on women and beauty, “In that clothing, one has to find a way of revealing an authentically thin body.” How delightfully twisted. Read More »
- As a challenge, the girls had to give themselves fake, one-word “model” names, like “Melrose” or “Giselle”. One of them picked the name “Wholahey,” pronouced “whoooolahaaayyy. So dumb, I LOVES IT. Even dumber? Wholahey WON the challenge!
- Sarah got the boot. She annoyed me from the start, always thinkin her s*&% d’int stank because she was a “professional photographer” and did a fashion show for “Chanel”. Which really means, she posts a lot of pictures on Myspace taken with her disposable camera, and did some cheesy runway show at the local mall in front of the Chanel store.
- There were celebrities at the same party attended by the models themselves! What are the chances?!? We got to watch them awkwardly mix and mingle with them. 50 Cent was so irritatated by Jael bein’ all up in his grill that he pushed her in the pool and she thought it was funny. Well, so did I.
- Ms. Nicole Ritchie herself got involved with some roommate drama when she asked Renee in “confidence” what she thought of the girls, and after Renee told Nicole that she hated Jael, Nicole went behind her back and told Jael exactly what Renee had said! Whew. Scandelous!
So I’ve come to realize that whenever I go shopping for “everyday” kind of clothes, I find myself being drawn towards the low cut, scandal-inducing shirts that I tend to sport on Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday nights (hey, don’t judge).
I’ve come up with a little solution that kills two birds with one stone and leaves me with extra money for beer pong and late night pizza. Basically, I just put a white or black wife beater underneath one of my scantily clad weekend shirts and voila – still stylish but now acceptable to wear to Poli Sci 144 at 2PM on a Wednesday.
It’s also even a great idea to wear a beater (or WB, as I like to call them) underneath a backless or low cut top at night if you, like myself, absolutely refuse to go bra-less. Damn those hippies to hell. Take a cue from my girl Nicole Richie…
She said no to rehab. And apparently also to food.
Have you heard the 
Everyday there’s something new in the gossip columns about 
Nicole Richie is whacked!!! Someone needs to throw her into an unmarked van and force her to live in a psychiatric ward until she can start acting like a normal human.
All my favorite people — Lindsay, Britney, Nicole, even Marc Jacobs!– seem to be going or have gone to rehab. My question is: When can I go?? From what I’m reading these days, rehab is like the new hot club you have to wait an hour on line to get into, only to be rejected at the door because you’re not cool or famous enough.
There’s something to be said about looking sweet when you’re about to be getting down and dirty. I think it harks back to the male fantasy of the hidden sexpot—a woman transformed from a squeaky clean innocent to a saucy little minx with a heavy dose of manly seduction.
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