"OMG. I can't believe I just called him the wrong name."

A few weeks ago, I asked one of my boys what guys were most afraid of in the bedroom. For him it was knockin’ a girl up. For me it was weird farty noises.

Needless to say, I felt a bit shallow. I mean, shouldn’t I be the one fearing a bun in the oven? And shouldn’t he just be scared of skid marks in his boxer shorts?

I wanted to know if I was alone, so this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their biggest nightmares involving boys. Some of them have experienced them and others, thankfully, have avoided the awkwardness thus far. Luckily, I’m not alone in my fears. And even more luckily, none of this shiz has ever plagued me before.

I just pray and hope it never does. Read More »

I have a dating nightmare story that is, I think, something of a urban legend. That is to say, I’ve never actually met anyone else to whom this has happened; sure, I have friends who have friends who know someone who has gone through this, and I’ve no doubt they exist, but I’ve never encountered these people personally.

I always sort of had the feeling that my ex was still in love with his ex girlfriend, but it would never really sink in. I suppose that I felt like I was the heroine in the movie version of my relationship, not the other woman (or, I guess, man)-that’s-totally-wrong-for-him-but-still-has-a-good-heart (AKA, James Mardsen in The Notebook, James Mardsen in Superman Returns, James Marsden in Enchanted and James Marsden in X-Men). But I was so the James Marsden and therefore I wasn’t at all surprised when I let myself in to my ex’s house (with the key he had given me with the understanding that I would meet him at his house that night–great timing, douchebag) to see him doing the mommy-daddy dance with said ex-girlfriend. Read More »

Sesame Street is no longer safe for kids.In a hilarious New York Times article, Virginia Heffernan jokes about the very real warning on the DVD for volumes 1 and 2 of Sesame Street: “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.”

After subjecting herself and friends to an “all-ages” screening of the 1970’s version of the kids show, Heffernan bemoaned the “damage” the show’s gritty early years caused her psyche.

“The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscar’s depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didn’t exist.”

Even though I was nothing but a faraway dream in the 70’s, I remember tuning into Sesame Street during my early years, somewhere around 1986. While I’m pretty sure Elmo had been ‘born’ by then, the images my pre-school eyes witnessed were not the saccharin filled pictures that flood PBS today. Read More »