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Dear Blackberry,

I just got back from Vegas and I am so hungover. Me and Benji spent the whole weekend together.

He got mad at me for five minutes on Friday because I forgot that it was his birthday, but whatever – I pay someone to be my thinker and rememberer but then I remembered that I don’t like talking to smart people so how was I supposed to know?

See? I’m smart enough to remember the important things. He had no right to be mad at me, right, Blackberry?

You know why I like you, Blackberry? Cuz I can tell you stuff and you don’t tell anyone else, not even Nikki or that attention whore mom Nicole.

You know that Nicole only had a baby cuz the magazines weren’t putting her on the cover, right? And she’s so pathetic – she’s like still hanging all over Benji when everyone knows that he’s with me. I think he’s like magic though – like they’ll take pictures with me and him somewhere and then there will be pictures of him and Nicole together at like almost the same time. I know what she’s trying to do. It’s not gonna work. Read More »