After a stint of boy craziness that’s lasted maybe ten years, I’ve had one bad break-up too many and recently entered a period of no-men-under-any-circumstances- and-I-mean-it, lasting indefinitely.

Don’t get me wrong– I like being single. I’m pretty independent. I can still study and interact with other humans. I function. But when it comes to the menfolk, I get easily distracted. And attempting to stay celibate in college is like asking Whitney Houston to get clean in a crack house. So, thinking that the best offense is a good defense, I’m using a plethora of methods to stay on track and focused.

These are the ones that didn’t work.

Fattening Food I started eating pizza every day. Like, a lot of pizza. There’s this place down the street from my house that serves whole pies for five dollars. (I get the “Oahu,” which is just fancy-pants for Hawaiian. Eating an entire pie in less than three minutes almost helps you forget you’re totally pathetic.) And the first few days I was feeling all blob-like and disgusting, but that’s actually passed. Because after a few weeks I’ve plumped up a bit, and now my skin glows (read: has a greasy sheen) from the extra calories. It kind of makes me want to have a baby. Which is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Read More »

Ever feel like lying on the beach in peace? Ever want to make the catcalls and leers and “hey ladies, need help putting that lotion on?” disappear from your favorite sandy hang-out?

The Italians feel your pain. And have done something about it.

Fausto Ravaglio, owner of 50 miles of coastline along the Italian Adriatic has made the area completely male free. “It’s a simple idea” he says, “”We have given the women their own world.”

“Pink Beach” (clever dirty pun or innocent gender/color coordination?) opened last week, complete with exercise classes, water aerobics and makeup tips. If any dudes are stupid enough to stumble farther than the parking lot, a big pink sign greets them with a stern “No Men” warning. Read More »