Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!

Hey Dude,

Ok, so I have this male best friend. We have been super close for a long time and a few weeks ago we hooked up. I never really thought of him that way but after that night I’ve started to think about how he’d be a really good boyfriend. Anyways, since then we’ve been hooking up pretty consistently every weekend. But he only calls me to come over when he’s drunk. I realize we are entering friends with benefits territory but that’s not what I want. I mean, I know we love eachother as people and now it’s clear he’s also physically attracted to me, so it makes sense that we would be a perfect couple. I don’t know if that’s what he wants or how to find that out. I don’t want to mess up our friendship (although, after getting naked with him I’m not sure how it’s NOT messed up), but I also don’t want to just be his booty call.
Help. Please.

–Best Friend With Benefits Read More »

"Oh, you have a girlfriend now? Awesome."

Fact: 100% of girls, always, look like complete sh*t at the gym. While I’m the exception to many rules, I am not the exception to this one. So you can imagine my horror, my utter horror, when I ran into a guy I used to date at the gym yesterday.

[To recap: we casually dated for about three months, during which we completely acted like a couple, but were not labeled as such. Why? Because he “doesn’t believe in relationships.”]

I asked him how he was doing, and he said school was good, blah blah blah, his girlfriend just got a new job, blah blah blah…WAIT WHAT?! Girlfriend? But…but when we were dating he said he didn’t believe in relationships! That monogamy was a sham! That labels ruined things!

My initial reactions were:
1) Jack him in the face.
2) Wait, you can’t throw a punch. Kick him in the balls.
3) Why was I not girlfriend material? Read More »

"Why is everyone getting some besides me!?"

My roommate has recently entered a relationship with a really hot, sexy Puerto Rican guy. As a result she has been having lots of hot, sexy sex. And as a result of this, I have been hearing every detail about it.

Being open beyond acceptable social norms, this doesn’t bug me. But while we were out recently and had one too many beers (hey, at 2 bucks a pitcher, I’m only being economical at this point), she made a comment that kind of got my wheels turning.

“Gosh. I wish you were having tons of sex too so we could freaking exchange stories already.”

Pause.
What?!

“Hello, my whole ‘thing’ is that I’m okay with being single. Who the eff are you to tell me that I need a man to be happy? Also, I think you should have to pay more rent this month cause you have just severely offended me. Jerk.” I stuck my (angry) face in the pitcher and took a gulp.

She grabbed the pitcher from me, splashing Keystone all over my face, and responded calmly. “I never said I wanted you to get a boyfriend. I said I wanted you to have lots of sex. You don’t need a boyfriend for that.”

Oh. Right. I forgot that little tiny detail. Because while I believe that you can have fun, fulfillment, enjoyment, and close personal relationships without romantic relationships…I have always been on the fence over whether or not you should have sex.

I’ve never thought it was wrong to have sex without being in a relationship. Look, this isn’t the 1950’s anymore; you don’t need someone’s letterman jacket before you crawl into the backseat of his Mustang. And while I’d never consider sleeping with seven anonymous strangers in a night, I will admit there are some (okay, a BILLION) gray areas between anonymity and monogamy. If you know the person is safe, and you know you can handle it emotionally, do you really have to be in a relationship to have sex? (And at any rate, shouldn’t physical and emotional safety be things you check up on even in a relationship?)

But, I’ve just always wondered if casual sex could be as fulfilling. Read More »

Rebound. It’s a common move and it’s not just for basketball. Whether we’re the ones just getting over a breakup or the new partner in our life is getting over an ex, the person intimately involved with an individual immediately post-breakup is oftentimes considered the rebound.

Everyone understands and supports the need for a little rebound action. That is, if you’re honest about what you’re seeking from the reboundees.

But there’s a gray area in rebounds I’d like to discuss:

The emotional rebound.

We all know about sexual/physical rebounds. This is when your ex does a girl you know he’s not even into after you break up. It’s when you get wasted and have some good ol’ random sex during that trip back home to collect your mind. But does the rebound always have to be physical?

Is there such thing as an emotional rebound? Can an emotional rebound be someone separate from your sexual/physical rebound? So many questions! Read More »

Some may disagree (and some may do so strongly), but sex is a large part of many college ladies’ lives. I don’t know if it can be attributed to Sex and the City, or simply a general relaxation on expectations of women, but sexual curiosity and exploration are just more widely accepted these days. Sex with no strings attached has become every woman’s right.

So, when I go out and meet a strapping young lad…and find myself sleeping soundly next to him the following morning, I never question it, or myself. And my friends don’t question it either. I am having fun. I am enjoying my freedom. I am making some fantastic memories.

I am a mature, responsible young lady; I may break the rules my mother lived by, but at least I am doing it carefully.

Sharing my sexual exploitations with my friends is so natural – as are their reactions of excitement, glee and interest in the details. We are in our 20’s, having a good time; this is not who we are, it is simply something fun that we may do. I am not saying that we collect sexual partners like I collect shoes; we are just having a grand ole’ time. Read More »

The Exsex was something that had been on my mind all week this week. To have great sex so easily and without any emotional cost or expectation on behalf of either person…it sounded like such a glamorous and hot way to bypass all of the bullsh*t I hate that normally has to take place on the path toward getting laid.

I eventually had to weigh the pros and cons.

PROS

The sex with Brian would be wonderful.

Brian is incredibly well-endowed (adding to the wonderfulness of it).

It would be easy. He would be leaving town the next morning.

CONS

He would be 45 miles away.

The weather got crappy.

The two of us having real privacy would be a gambling game.

And still, the biggest question lingered in my mind:

Would it really be sex without strings attached? Read More »

Lately I have begun to notice a strange phenomenon among college students. This phenomenon I speak of is far more intriguing than our ability to eat anything if 50% or less of its surface is covered in mysterious fuzz. It is also a lot stranger than our crazy sleeping habits, or classroom attire (scrubs, a t-shirt and no bra…clearly not on the runways in Milan).

I call this the “Relationship Identity Crisis” and I am sure you all know exactly what I am talking about.

Example: I was studying for finals with a cute boy in one of my classes, and by “studying” I mean “pretending to do work so I could sit near him and show him how cute I am”. As we sat by the warm glow of his wall-mounted tap light he began to tell me a story.

“…blah, blah, blah, girl I’m kinda seeing, blah, blah, blah.” I couldn’t hear the rest of the story due to the loud shattering sound coming from my chest. Read More »