That’s one of the reasons that I read teen fiction. It always has a great message and doesn’t try to be precocious. Teen fiction – written to inspire a love of reading in young peoples’ hearts – is written soulfully and simply. And I love it.

One of my favorite teen fiction reads is “Looking for Alaska” by John Green. This is Green’s debut novel and, in my opinion, his best to date (although “Paper Towns” and “An Abundance of Katherines” are great as well!). He writes from the perspective of a naive teenage boy, finding his first love. I find this book so beautiful and honest and, most importantly, quirky.

Green insists on all of his characters being a little off kilter. Pudge, the main character, collects the dying words of famous people, while Alaska, the main female character, named herself. The story is a believable and important one and the ending is simply mind-blowing.

Green’s talent as a writer shines through in this stunning debut, but it also maintains a unique quality that I only find in teen books – that is, poignant honesty and nothing unnecessary to the story. He doesn’t try to overcrowd his book with big words or intense metaphors; he simply tells a beautiful story, simply.

I have been addicted to Diet Coke for years. I used to start off with a jumbo fountain D.C. on my way to class at 10 AM, followed by another one at lunch and yet another (mixed with rum) for an evening snack. There was nothing on this planet that could come between me and my beloved Diet Coke. In fact, I wasn’t sure there was any way I could love it any more.

But, dear readers, there is: it seems that not only is Diet Coke the tastiest, most delectable treat on this planet….

It is also an effective spermicide!

Oh yeah! You heard me. That stuff you have been drinking by the gallon also happens to be strong enough to kill those little impregnators. Could there be a more perfect beverage? I think not.

Sure, this fact may worry some people (“blah blah how can I put something in my body that is strong enough to kill sperm blah blah blah?), but I couldn’t be happier! Just think of the possibilities:

No need for condoms or birth control when you have a 20 ouncer in the fridge! (Note: not quite sure how one would go about using that 20 ouncer as a contraceptive….) Or better yet, Coca Cola condoms! They taste like Diet Coke (which will make me much more happy to get near ‘em) and have the same effectiveness at preventing pregnancy as a can of D.C.!

This changes everything.

This past weekend at a celebrity memorabilia auction in Las Vegas, Larry Birkhead, opportunistic baby daddy extraordinaire, purchased some drawers once worn by the late hot mess Anna Nicole Smith in a Playboy spread.

Birkhead spent a reported $2800 on a pink bustier and white negligee with the intention of someday giving the items to he and Smith’s year-old daughter, Dannielynn. According to one report, Birkhead said he bought the items in the hope that they will someday help Dannielynn understand her mother’s life and that this was definitely NOT a stunt to ensure his F-List ass stays in the papers. For realzies, guys. Make sure you get my good side.

That poor, poor, poor, poor kid. First her mother and brother die, then she’s in the middle of the most sleazeball custody battle of the 21st century, now she’s gifted a piece of her mom’s history as a trashy soft-core porn star? If Dannielynn makes it to the age of fourteen without getting knocked up or becoming a crackhead, she deserves a Nobel Prize.

[Photo courtesy of OK! Magazine]