The latest figures show that “the number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on youths 18 or younger more than tripled over a 10-year period, to 205,119 in 2007 from 59,890 in 1997.” That is an astronomical number!

I know I shouldn’t be surprised being I can name more than a few people who have been offered a pair of silicone implants wrapped in a red bow come graduation day, but that number really shocks me.

I understand that beauty and perfection have been something that women have constantly strived for and I also understand that cosmetic surgery has become more acceptible in our society. I mean, just turn on the television and I bet you can find at least three makeover shows on right this minute, and at least one re-run of Dr. 90210. Still, maybe we should be wondering why young girls are inceasingly begging and pleading for new noses, breasts, chins, teeth, ears, tummies and every other resize-able, reshape-able body part.

Self esteem is a huge argument for teens when trying to convince families to take the life-changing plunge into cosmetic surgery. I don’t necessarily say life-changing in a postive light either. Not only are there serious risks associated with these surgeries, but sometimes they require upkeep, which means a life under the knife.

It makes me sad to think that girls think they need to look a certain way to fit in. The media may not show it, but noses have bumps, girls have bellies (we have organs in there!), breasts are big and small and pointy and round, and ears stick out – that is what is normal. At one time or another we were all part of the itty-bitty-titty committee… it’s part of growing up. Eventually your body changes, and if it doesn’t, at some point you start to love it for what it is. If only we all had Oprah on speed dial; I think we would remember this more often.

What do you think? Should we do anything we can to feel better about ourselves, or just learn to love what we have?

Golf cart or electric car? It doesn’t matter! It’s adorable!

Video: Only Paris Hilton’s best friend would be the kinda girl to release a sex tape, get butt implants, then pose naked…just like her mother.

On Tom Cruise: “He taps into the zeitgeist,” says Cruise’s business partner, Paula Wagner. He also taps into crazy. And delusional.

Five minute nose job? I need it now!

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Hey, everyone! New buzzword for 2008! FLILF! Yeah…it’s kinda gross to me too.

Chocolate gold or chocolate gold? It’s up to you!

Arkansas man nearly throws away a million little girl’s dreams. Or a 4.3 carat diamond. Whatever.

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When asked about her nose job and breast augmentation surgery (which she has until now kept quiet about), Heidi contributed this incredibly deep and emotional response:

“But surgery is a very big deal. Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

Well, it is nice to see that Heidi has her priorities straight. I mean, forget about all those people dying all over the world. All the starving children in Africa. The oppressed women in the Middle East. The AIDS epidemic.

Those people don’t know pain!

Try living with an A-Cup and be forced to wear push-up bras that cut into your skin! Maybe then you’d know real pain! You think having your face ravaged by flying shrapnel in Iraq is a problem? Try having this thing on your face.

And to think, I have spent the past few weeks ripping into Heidi for being a superficial and dumb bitch. She has finally set me straight. I just hope this surgery gives Heidi everything she wants and more.

After all she has been through – dropping out of school, getting a promotion she doesn’t deserve, going through the horrors of elective surgery – she deserves it. (Except, of course, that singing career she has been working on; with performances like this, that sh*t is never gonna happen.)