The other day, my friend and I were driving to Hudson (Wisco) on a Sunday afternoon to buy some wine.  Yes, that calculation all together means we physically left the state we were in (Minnesota) and cruised controlled our way to Wisconsin so we could legally buy booze. On a Sunday.

Girls gotta do what a girls’ gotta do, okat? Even if that means taking a flashback ride to the high school days – when you would beg someone older to drive the healthy hour into a state where no one else had anything better to do than drink on God’s day o’ rest. Cheers.

Basically, while she sped east and I sat and ate my Uncrustable for breakfast in the passenger seat, we had a chance to get down to talking. And of course, that conversation was about boyz. I immediately assumed it was kosher that we were being desperate about booze and discussing the one thing we couldn’t ever seem to figure out. My roommate and I can relate, we’ve both been single for a while, we both like to go out and have fun and we both like to dish about it. Naturally, our conversation led to something a little sacred in the dating world. Sexay time. Read More »

Up until very recently, I was living with a seriously awful roommate. She was your typical passive aggressive person who refused to communicate and would let issues fester and fester until she would explode in a fit of pure crazy. One point of contention was my boyfriend. Roomie and I shared a big house, but boyfriend and I always kept to ourselves in my room. Of course, since boy and I are both pretty vivacious, we had sex regularly. We were pretty considerate, since the acoustics carried. We’d generally try to avoid doing anything when we knew she was home, or we’d blast the TV or our music, but she still couldn’t deal. (Going to the boy’s place wasn’t an option most of the time because his living situation was even more oppressive than mine.)

So, in an effort to be a decent roommate, I stopped having sex with my boyfriend, regularly, for almost six months. It wasn’t a total sex desert  — we went on a couple of trips during this time (hotel sex is amazeballs), and sometimes he’d go house-sit for his parents when they were out of town and I’d tag along. But, for the most part, my vag was closed for business. Read More »

There is this pervasive notion that everyone in college is obsessed with sex, that every social interaction begins with “hello” and ends with both parties naked and entwined. The “college hookup culture” rhetoric makes it sound like we all graduate with a degree, an STD, and a pregnancy scare under our belts from all our years of constant promiscuity.

In reality, though hook ups are common, an increased number of students are identifying as virgins. As much as I love talking about sex, and how amazing it can be, I totally acknowledge abstinence as a legitimate choice. For much of my college life, I was practicing abstinence. Contrary to stale stereotypes, I wasn’t a sullen, judgmental prude waiting for the perfect man to marry me before I gave it up. I was sex-positive, make out-friendly, and always looked forward to Sunday mornings so I could live vicariously through my friends’ recaps of their sexcapades.

Despite my deep interest in sex, I knew I wasn’t ready to engage yet (unlike others). I was waiting for someone I could trust. Someone who would grab breakfast with me in the dining hall a couple of times a week, who would respond to my texts in a reasonably timely fashion, who I could have the “let’s get tested” convo with, who would be there for me if I did get pregnant and would be a source of support for me while I figured out what my next course of action would be.  And I just wasn’t coming across dudes who fit that description. Read More »

Of course I’m all for doing whatever makes you happy. If not having sex makes you happy, then by all means keep on not having sex. But you probably shouldn’t waste your time convincing me to join you in not having sex; after all, I don’t try to convince you to have sex.

In a recent New York Times article titled “Students of Virginity,” about college students who choose to abstain from sex, one founder of the Harvard abstinence club said, “We wanted to make abstinence look fun; interesting.” OK, I understand how abstaining from sex can be safer than actually having sex. But abstinence is fun? I wasn’t aware.

Choosing to abstain from sex until marriage is a personal choice you make, and I’m not quite sure I understand the need for abstainers to work on convincing others that their way is best. On Valentine’s Day 2007, members of the True Love Revolution sent out valentines to freshman girls saying, “Why wait? Because you’re worth it.” Read More »

Sex. Hooking up. Orgies. That’s the buzz these days when it comes to talk of “naughty” behavior on campuses nationwide. “We’re hooking up too casually.” “Having lots of sex hurts us.” “We don’t value ‘making love’.” Blah, blah, blah.

Okay. Fine. College has a lot to do with having sex. Everyone’s horny and when there’s alcohol involved, people get hornier. It’s only natural. Yes, I think too much of anything (even sex with random guys) isn’t healthy. But I don’t think sex is a bad thing or something not to be had.

Which brings me to Harvard. The campus that has both created a student-run “porn” magazine and now “True Love Revolution.” Yeah, the name is a little dramatic, I know. Anyway, this is a group on campus founded by a couple (Sarah Kistella and Justin Murray) who think too much mindless sex goes on all over campus. I’ll interpret that as meaning people don’t think before they have it. Hmmm … okay. Read More »