Top Ten Summer Fashion Absolutely DO NOTS

Spring is nice for some girls, but me? I am all about summer! When springtime days start lasting allllll the way to 7pm, and nights don’t dip below a balmy 55 degrees, I start dreaming of summer fashion.  Summer dresses, strappy sandals, bright colors, bold patterns, breezy fabrics; I just cannot get enough!

But even with all the beautiful summer fashion options out there, I worry.  What is it about the imminent arrival of summer that causes normally well-dressed people to make some, shall we say, questionable sartorial choices? Why do they think it’s okay to be semi-nude in public or dress like children?

Sure, bad fashion exists year-round, but summer clothing lives so much closer to naked that its faux pas are particularly troublesome.

Below, a round-up of my all time worst offenders! Remember, they’re called ‘don’ts’ for a reason!

1. Uggs. I know I’m going to get some slack for this one, but I just do not care. Yes, I think Uggs are ugly as sin and make your feet look like blobby puddles of dough, but I have begrudgingly accepted them as a form of warm and practical fall/winter footwear.  That being said, if it’s warm enough for shorts, it’s also warm enough for sandals!  If it’s dress season, your Ugglies should not be seeing the light of day. Hide those things under pants.

2. Call ‘em short shorts, call ‘em hot pants, call ‘em Daisy Dukes: but ladies (and please, for the love of god, men) put ‘em away! There are some seriously cute shorts out there these days, but if I can see the curvature of your ass cheeks before that fabric hits bottom, they are TOO SHORT.

3. Jelly shoes: What, are you 5 years old? No. And if you are, you shouldn’t be reading this website. You are too young, little lady!

4. Tunics as dresses: Fine in theory, but for my general problem with these, see the entry for short shorts and add in the problems of wind, subway grates, and public staircases, to name a few. And everyone knows it’s a shirt. Read More »