In all honesty, there has been only one date marked (with a big red-Sharpie’d heart) on my calendar this summer: July 15, the release of the next Harry Potter movie. Yes, I read all the books. Yes, I realize I’m more excited for a movie about wizards than beachside cocktails. But in addition to the guaranteed magical experience of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I’m amped for the magical hotness of its star, Daniel Radcliffe.

Back in the days of the first HP movies, little Danny was, well, little. He assumed the staring role at 9 years old (at that age, I was still wearing butterfly clips and black shoes with white socks, ew).  But at some point, the British hunk blossomed into a ripped, well-groomed wizard of womanizing.

Last year, he starred in the Broadway play “Equus,” which is most famous for showcasing D.Rad in the buff, live and in person. Thank you, Broadway producers, for allowing me to look at this fine man totally nude in a perfectly cultured manner.

While I doubt “The Half-Blood Prince” will be displaying any kind of nudity, I am totally looking forward to fanning myself in the audience, dreaming of another of Daniel’s magic wands.

[I want it, I need it, I can’t live without it. There are so many things on store shelves and racks right now that we want to take home and hang in our closets. Things that are so cute, everyone should know about them. We’ll share ‘em with you here (because we’re that nice), but as far as actually getting them goes….well, you’re on your own with that one.]

Sexy pumps: every girl’s necessity for a fabulous night out. Yes, they will probably definitely kill your feet and you’ll be walking back from the party in flip flops (or barefoot!), but they’re hard to resist because they look so.frickin.good. Sick of typical stilettos but want to add some height? Look no further than the Sarkia Pump by Calvin Klein.

While the Sarika pumps are classically attractive, they’re far from boring. They feature a 4.5 inch semi-chunky stacked platform heel and a stacked wooden platform of 3/4 of an inch. They also feature an adorable rounded toe. What really makes these shoes different from all of the other black pumps in your closet, however, is their texture: they’re covered in a fish scale pattern! Of course, the Sarkias also come in nude–a hot trend for summer.

You can pick up your own pumps in store at Macy’s on sale for $68, (which, realistically, will probably cost less since Macy’s always has in-store promotions and deals!) but don’t fret if they don’t have your size–the Calvin Klein shoes can also be found online at Lori’s Shoes or Piperlime, where they just happen to be a Rachel Zoe pick.

Personally, I’m going to pick up a pair of the black ones. Here’s hoping that a chunkier heel will mean less stumbling and spills post-party!

Additionally, Cosmo provides alternate ways to phrase creepy questions about a date’s credit card debt (pg 120), a single girl’s guide to using a camera’s self timer (apparently single girls don’t have friends to take their profile pics for them) and the hottest new accessory fashion house: Oriental Trading. Uh, the economy’s bad but do we have to resort to gummy bracelets?!

On the bright side, Cosmo’s Sexy issue did not disappoint in some arenas (he-llo naughty card game on page 136!): Katie Lee Joel’s recipe for a Mediterranean picnic made me question my aversion to olives, the Cosmo staff confessions had me LOL-ing in a very quiet section of the library, and the “Lose 5lbs in 7 Days” tips may have saved my life in preparation for pre-finals pool parties. And yet, Cosmo just wouldn’t be Cosmo without their well-intended but somewhat whack advice.

This month? The 6 sex lessons us lady folk can learn from the boys…

Lesson 1: You’re Always Doable

Cosmo Says: If you feel too gross to have sex, you will subconsciously tell your man to leave you alone. He then will stop asking you for sex. Also, “once you clothes come off, this is the extent of what a guy is thinking: ‘Boobs!’”

Kari Says: Obvi once breasts are within their field of vision, any man is reduced to monosyllables. All the man generalizing aside though, I can’t imagine a scenario where my boyfriend would “pick up” on “subliminal cues” that I don’t want to have sex at the moment, let alone respect said cues. As long as there’s that possibility, he’s probably going to take his chances. I understand that the point of this article is to get the ladies to enjoy sex just as much as guys do (I was unaware that I wasn’t…), but Dr. Patricia Taylor’s suggestion that I get my man hard to “realize there’s no point in worrying about all that other stuff” seems a little too convenient. There’s a reason why I’m not in the mood–or trust me, I’d be doin’ it.

Lesson 2: Little Things are Big Turn Ons

Cosmo Says: Men are turned on by absolutely anything and everything, so they constantly think about sex. By the time they get home, they’re like 12 hours deep into foreplay. Women? Not so much—we only think about sex during sexy time.

Kari Says: FALSE. Perhaps girls do not get turned on by “a millimeter of skin between your shirt and jeans,” but we’re not completely daydream devoid. What better way to kill time in a lecture without one’s laptop than replaying an AWESOME hook-up in your head? Mmm, memories…

Lesson 3: Your Crotch is Awesome

Cosmo Says: Boys know, love and protect their penises, and girls focus far too much on the clitoris. “And don’t forget to go hunting for your G-Spot,”…again.

Kari Says: Thank goodness you provided another set of detailed instructions for finding my G-Spot Cosmo; I seem to have misplaced my other 7 issues with the same directions. Other than that though, hells yea to female exploration and what not. If men can nurture and name their junk then women are entitled to the “same kind of self-love.” Props for incorporating the phrase “self-love,” and BTW, we already knew our crotches were awesome, thankyouverymuch.

Lesson 4: Practice Makes Perfect

Cosmo Says: Masturbate, masturbate, and masturbate some more to figure out what works best for you.

Kari Says: Orgasms? Yes please. Orgasms that will increase the likelihood of even more orgasms? Keep em comin’ ( no pun intended). The suggestions of methods that Cosmo provides are even helpful…until the final one. I’m sorry Cosmo, but not even in the name of a better sex drive do I see the necessity of “tossing a towel over the padded arm of [my] couch, straddling it, and rocking back and forth, using the weight of my body to adjust the amount of pressure on [my] clitoris.” Something tells me my roommates wouldn’t appreciate this experimentation either.

Lesson 5: Sex is Better at Full Mast

Cosmo Says: The clitoris is the female equivalent of the penis. Foreplay is important to make sure it’s equally “engorged.”

Kari Says: Foreplay is absolutely important. I too see the importance of becoming fully turned on before sex (or else it’s just not fair). Unfortunately, I don’t think that my boyfriend would understand if I insisted that he make sure I was fully erect before we started knocking boots…

Lesson 6: It’s All About Focus

Cosmo Says: Women kick ass at multitasking, unfortunately, this is a bad thing in the bedroom. Men have made an art form of tuning out all that isn’t vitally important to the interest at hand, this is a very very good thing in the bedroom.

Kari Says: Agreed. Cosmo, you are absolutely right; I sometimes catch myself thinking ahead to my next move (naturally one of your patented positions from the Cosmo Sutra—so you’re partially to blame), stressing about the way my stomach looks and, yes, even wanting to open the window to cool things down. This just might be the perfect opportunity to take a page from the guys’ book and practice focusing only on the sensory experience of sex.

Overall, I think that Cosmo does an excellent job of highlighting some of the sexual benefits men reap—a few of our *ahem* talents just may have been overlooked. So yes, Cosmo, in the name of “sexual superiority” I think this advice is pretty damn good…but I’m still not gonna hump my couch.

This spring, fashion is all about variety in your wardrobe. Although bright colors are a must-have trend this year, mixing in some neutrals is also a fashion “do.” Instead of donning black, like you have been all winter, rock a nude garment instead. It is a lot fresher for the warm weather months, plus painfully chic and sexy. Showing a little skin without really showing any skin? H-O-T.

Afraid your skin will look washed out? Pair something nude with bright accessories, like the hot pink shoes and bag in the outfit below. And pass up things that are super tight for clothes that drape loosely – you don’t want to look like you’re actually nude.

Trench dress – Banana Republic; shoes – Nine West; bag – Guess.

If you’re not ready to go au naturale just yet, incorporate the trend with your accessories. Nude-colored heels and bags are also a popular trend this spring. Not only do they match practically everything, but a nude pump will elongate your legs giving you some Heidi Klum gams.

Dress – Old Navy; Shoes – Victoria’s Secret; Bag – Guess.

Here’s another tip for wearing nude: slather an illuminating moisturizing lotion, like Nivea Silky Shimmer, all over your arms and legs. This will keep your clothes from blending in with your skin completely.

Don’t lie.

It’s ok – everyone gets curious to see what and who is out there. Someone who wants you to wear a diaper? Check. Someone who likes big ladies? Check.

Some of us may have even found ourselves lonely on a Saturday night when everyone else was out and figured someone else out there in Craigslist land was lonely too. Just me? Ok…

Anyways, everyone who has perused the Casual Encounters knows there is one thing you can be sure of: lots and lots of peen. On the bed, on the chair, in front of the bathroom mirror; peen, peen, peen. The guys over at Funny or Die know it, and they created this video to show what goes on behind the scenes. I would post it here, but it’s just… wrong. Hilarious, but wrong. Check it out.

There, I said it, and I’m only a little embarrassed about it. I just returned from a two-week sojourn to Berlin and Florence, and the single most amazing thing I saw (and have perhaps ever seen) is Michelangelo’s sculpture of David.

Nothing has ever, ever made me want to get with somebody so much.

Until you see the sculpture in person, it’s easy to pass it off as a commodity. No picture can do it justice, and it’s hard to understand just how incredible it is without seeing it for yourself. The main thought going through my mind as I stood there looking at it, though, was, “Holy cow. How the hell could Michelangelo sculpt a man as anatomically gorgeous as this one? He must have used himself as a model, because the details are just too precise. Michelangelo must have been freaking hot!”

This might seem ridiculous, but trust me, it’s not. There are details on David that pictures just don’t show. The veins in the arms, the just-so rippling of the hip and thigh muscles, the soft framing of the bone structure in the hands…it’s all there, and I am convinced that no artist could ever create that kind of detail without using a reference. And when you’re sculpting a nude that’s the same sex as you are, the easiest reference to use is yourself.

Conclusion: Michelangelo must have been ripped.

In doing a little research about him, some sources such as Gay Heroes and The Raw Story provide persuasive evidence that he was gay, although Wikipedia suggests that he fell in love with a woman later in life. Though I wouldn’t really feel comfortable saying “it’s a shame that Michelangelo was gay,” there is a part of me that wishes I could zap myself back to the early 16th century and court him.

Until time travel is perfected, though, I guess I’ll just have to settle for staring at deeply inadequate pictures of the David and sighing poetically to myself.

Golf cart or electric car? It doesn’t matter! It’s adorable!

Video: Only Paris Hilton’s best friend would be the kinda girl to release a sex tape, get butt implants, then pose naked…just like her mother.

On Tom Cruise: “He taps into the zeitgeist,” says Cruise’s business partner, Paula Wagner. He also taps into crazy. And delusional.

Five minute nose job? I need it now!

Missed L.A. Ink this season? Let us catch you up!

Hey, everyone! New buzzword for 2008! FLILF! Yeah…it’s kinda gross to me too.

Chocolate gold or chocolate gold? It’s up to you!

Arkansas man nearly throws away a million little girl’s dreams. Or a 4.3 carat diamond. Whatever.

Is oral sex really ‘sex’? Let us know what you think!

The formula is essentially the same: Six weeks, find love, contestants get eliminated, one will remain at the end, and there will be a reunion special where we discover the winner really isn’t interested. Sound familiar? The big twist in Ms. Tequila’s show is her opportunity to come out as a bisexual and have 16 lesbians square off against 16 straight dudes for her affection. This should be fun.

Tila Tequila, nee Tila Nguyen, shot to fame by becoming the most popular person on Myspace as of April 2006. She has modeled for Playboy, Stuff and Maxim. She also was the number one unsigned artist on Myspace. Through shameless self-promotion and half-naked pictures, Tila has really become internet superstar. Now with her own show, she is sure to become a reality television superstar. I have no doubt the clothing line will follow soon. Oops, there already is a clothing line.

There are some that are giving Tila the big thumbs up for breaking barriers and having a reality show that deals with alternative sexuality. While I’m sure that MTV appreciates being coined as “edgy,” the truth probably is the producers just ate up the idea of girls making out on TV. Does anything get better ratings? I don’t think so. The Christian Conservatives have bashed Tila for encouraging a gay lifestyle. They really don’t get that this kind of controversy only ups ratings even more.

I’m interested to see which way Tila ultimately swings. While I think most of the guys on the show are probably wetting themselves at the possibility of a threesome, most of the lesbians looked less than thrilled there were men in the house. I smell drama, and giant fights. Let the “ultimate battle of the sexes” begin!

Although old enough to be my grandfather, Rolling Stone Magazine continues to maintain it’s finger on the pulse of everything hip and now. From the hottest bands to the sickest trends, RS has known what’s up for 40 years… and 2007 is no different. Check out Rolling Stone’s 2007 Hot List after the jump.

HOT BABE – Megan Fox

2007 was a good year for Megan Fox. Starring opposite Shia LaBeouf in this Summer’s Sci-Fi Blockbuster “Transformers“, this hot starlet is soon to be a household name. Her next role is playing a Hollywood “IT” girl (what a stretch) in the highly anticipated “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People“ with Kirsten Dunst.

See more Megan Fox photos here.

HOT BAND: Band of Horses

Grunge may be dead in Seattle, but local heroes Band of Horses have rubbed the paddles together to bring new life to the the city’s indie music scene. Ben Birdwell’s haunting vocals alongside an ethereal Southern-Alt Rock guitar sound has ” made Band of Horses the most promising young guitar group going.” Their latest release “Cease to Begin” is certain to adorn numerous critic’s year end top tens.

See more Band of Horses photos here.

HOT CALENDAR: Mormons Exposed

This seems so wrong on so many levels, but as the old adage goes “If you got it, flaunt it”… and that’s just what these son’s of Brigham Young have done. Chad Hardy has put the S -ex back in LDS with his 2008 “Men on a Mission” Calendar, featuring 12 of the hottest, shirtless Morman missionaries on the planet. Apparently it’s big seller with the boys as well as the girls, although we’re pretty sure it’s a conservative wrong for the conservative right.

See the calendar photos here.

HOT MODEL: Agyness Deyn

Critics call Agyness Deyn the “next Kate Moss”. We just call her hot. This 21 year-old rock-a-waif has done ads for Burberry and Armani to name a few and has been sporting this tough girl look since the age of 10. Expect to see a good bit more of Ms. Deyn. She is apparently working on a new band called “Lucky Knitwear” in addition to her day job.

See more Agyness Deyn photos here.

Click here to see the rest of the Rolling Stone 2007 Hot List.