CollegeCandy » obama inauguration

The Pissed List: Comcast Sucks, and So Do Trainers

CC Staff — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:39:19 +0000

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

1. Health and Fitness Contradictions: Some say to eat more fiber. Others tell me to focus more on protein, and still others say to get rid of everything and stick to a diet of grapefruit and tabasco sauce. Which is it, people? Stop with the contradictory research and just tell me what is going to get me back the body I had before I discovered my obsession with bacon on my pizza. Because right now, I’m eating a lot of fiber, protein and grapefruit and it doesn’t seem to be helping.

2. A Lack of Positive Reinforcement: I don’t need people to sing to me every time I make a pee pee on the potty, but a little reinforcement for a job well done would be nice once in awhile. “You got an A on your exam? Great work!” Or, “Wow, you really know your way around a beer bong!” But no. I get nothing. Except, of course, if something goes wrong; then I don’t hear enough about it. “Jesus Christ! Who puked on the bathroom wall again!?”

3. My DVR: I know, I know. No one should ever have something bad to say about DVR. But I do, because even though I set it to only record new episodes, that thing records every single freaking episode (and rerun) of my shows. 3 episodes of Oprah a day, 10 episodes of Bromance (yes, I DVR Bromance), and like 1,257 episdoes of What Not to Wear a Week. What are the settings for, Mr. DVR? If I wanted 423 episodes of The City I would have said something!

4. Waiting for Obama to fail: Where is all the excitement around our new president? It seems that the moment he hung up his Inaugural tux, everyone turned on him. No one is waiting to see what great things he can do; they are all just counting down the days until he disappoints us. Which he will, if we have no faith.

5. Comcast Cable: (Yes, I realize that TV has made its way into this post twice, but I kinda have no life.) My cable AND internet went out 4 minutes before Obama was Inaugurated. Then they went out again before The Office came on Thursday night. And what does Comcast do? Refund me the $9 for the lack of service. $9 for the biggest political event in history? $9 for a missed moment that I have been waiting 8 freaking years for?! $9 to miss Michael Scott and Dwight Shrute lick their lips at eachother in the car (I caught it on Hulu, thank god)?! I hate you, Comcast. HATE YOU.

The Obama Term Drinking Game

John - UConn — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:39:10 +0000

There are only two things I didn’t do enough in 2008: read about Barack Obama, and drink. And, like any two problems, it turns out you can fix those with a simple drinking game. But I don’t this to be some namby-pamby Johnny-come-lately one-night drinking game. For better or worse, I want this drinking game to last as long as Barack Obama is the president. For the next four years, I want Obama streamed directly into my life. And I want to be really, really drunk.And unless our national situation shapes up soon, you probably will, too. So:

The 2009-2013 Barack Obama Presidential Term Drinking Game.

- Drink every time Obama shoots a three-pointer as a publicity stunt. Drink again if he makes it.

- Drink every time an annoying conservative blogger photoshops Obama in a compromising political situation. Chug if it’s hilarious, like “PHOTO EVIDENCE: HUSSEIN OBAMA SHOWN WITH MINIATURE TALIBAN RADIO TRANSMITTER AND 40 VIRGINS UNDER TURBAN.” Chug and sob if FOX decides that bad photoshops are “news.”

- Drink every time Obama is implied to have planned or caused the following events: the economic crisis, 9/11, the Iraq insurgency, the Pearl Harbor bombings or the assassination of Julius Caesar.

- Drink in celebration every time one of the Big Three auto industries makes a full-featured, attractive, affordable electric car (please get out of the car, first).

- Alternately, take a shot every time one of the Big Three goes bankrupt or gets bought by Toyota.

- Drink every time any senior Democrat says “worse before it gets better.”

- To avoid mass pan-American blackouts, times when Obama says “hope” or “change” will be reduced to one-quarter of a drink each.

- Drink every time Obama pisses off the Russians (missile defense system in Poland, anyone?) Drink again if Putin responds with more shirtless martial arts videos.

- Drink every time Obama is hotter shirtless than Putin anyway.

- Drink whenever Michelle Obama is compared to Jackie O.

- Drink whenever Barack Obama is compared to JFK, and drink to calm your nerves whenever you see him in an open-air venue (was anyone else inexplicably terrified during the election night speech?)

- Drink whenever Obama is shown with any kind of nasty un-Presidential personal technology.

- Drink whenever Obama’s cabinet is described as a “second Clinton administration,” a “throwback,” a “dynasty” or anything similar. Chug if Bill Clinton ends up with an official Obama administration post.

- Drink every time someone paints an Obama mural in a European city.

- Drink a Shirley Temple every time Obama makes a speech in a predominantly Muslim country.

- Take one drink for every point Obama’s public approval ratings fall below 50%. Hopefully, this one won’t kill anyone outright through alcohol poisoning.

- Drink every time the Obama girls don’t get arrested for drunk driving or fake IDs. Heh, heh.

- Pound a few shots if, upon taking office, Obama turns out to be an evil overlord and replaces the Washington Monument with a giant statue of himself. Pound a few more if the statue shoots lasers from its eyes.

- Finally, until the Dow makes it back over, say, 10,000, drink every time you’re able to afford it. Obama might be smiling up a storm in office, but the next four years could be rough.

Print a copy, keep it in your pocket. Be ready whenever, wherever. And play responsibly, yeah?

Party It Up for The New Presidente

Brithny - Duke University — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:39:01 +0000

Tomorrow is the big day!

As millions flock to Washington for the inauguration, many of us prefer (or were forced) to stay at home and not be part of the mad rush of people that will surely cause all of the highways around D.C. and the surrounding states to be jam-packed with people and cars (I’ve had enough with the crowding during the Olympics to last a lifetime). But just because you’re not on the scene doesn’t mean you can’t be with the scene!

There are plenty of other people around who didn’t make the trek to D.C., so have a party! It may be last minute, but there is still plenty of time to gather your friends and a little patriotism together for a killer Proud to be An American bash.

Here are some fun ways for you to celebrate being in American – red, white, and blue style.

Decorate: Now is the perfect time to whip out your old Fourth of July gear and host the best inauguration-watching party ever! Turn your living room into an American flag: blow up balloons, hang flags on the wall, spread a red tablecloth and set out little blue napkins.

Costumes: Aren’t costume parties the best? Encourage your guests to dress up as their favorite political figure and award to the best-dressed and best-impersonation (cigar, anyone?) with an American favorite: a 30 pack of cheap beer.

FOOD! You can take the easy route with some red, white and blue foods, like watermelon, blueberries and cottage cheese, or you can whip up something patriotic:

Name foods after fun themes such as “Campaign Trail Mix,” “Sloppy Joe Bidens,” “Barack of Ribs,” “Chicken Right Wings,” or, my personal favorite, “Lipstick Pigs In A Blanket.”
Make some RW&B Popsicles. Just get any type of juice in all three colors (I like using kool-aid) and some dixie cups and popsicle sticks. Pour the red juice into each cup to about 1/3 full, then freeze until it’s almost frozen but still a little slushy. Insert a popsicle stick into the middle, then pour the white juice in until it’s 2/3 full. Freeze it again, then add the blue juice. Freeze one more time, peel the cups off, and – voila! – patriotism on a stick.
Want to be more like Obama? Make chili, one of his favorite foods!

Play Some Games: Baseball isn’t called America’s pastime for nothing. Go outside (bundled in scarves and thick jackets, I hope) and toss a few around. I’m sure you could figure out a way to turn that into a drinking game. If baseball isn’t your thing, go shoot some hoops. Instead of playing Horse, though, make it a game of Donkey. Or Obama. Or See Ya Later, Bush! Or, if it’s too cold out, just play a game of Obama Speech Bingo. Our bet’s on the word “change” getting the most chips.

American Karaoke: Sure, karaoke is usually reserved for Meatloaf and The Outfield, but this is a God Bless America party! Break out the old American faves like Yankee Doodle and God Bless America. Beyonce may have had to perform in front of billions of people, including the president, but you just have to sing in front of your friends, so belt it out shamelessly.

Watch a Movie: Throw in an old American action flick, like The Patriot, Saving Private Ryan, or Black Hawk Down. (Because nothing says I Love America quite like Josh Hartnett. Mmmm.) Or, if you want laughter instead of tears, watch some hilarious youtube videos of past presidents. Shoes not included.

Be proud and celebrate being an American on this great day in U.S. history. You betcha I sure am.

The CC Weekly Weigh In: We Have Some Dreams

CC Staff — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:39:12 +0000

Next week is pretty huge. Not only is Barack Obama being inaugurated as the first black president of the United States, but it is all happening the day after Martin Luther King Day.

MLK Day is often thought of as just another day off of school and a glorious long weekend, but this year – more than any other year – should be different.

MLK died in his efforts to get equal rights for African American men and women. And now, 40 years later, a black man will finally be president. The thought is chilling, and has inspired all of us to dream again. Our dreams and goals really can become reality.

So this week, in honor of MLK, Obama, and history in the making, the CC writers share their dreams for the United States and our futures.

Elisabeth – UA Huntsville: It would be nice to see deserving students be able to get the financial help they need for school without having to jump through ridiculously tiny hoops.

Brithny – Duke University: My dream is to get more sleep so I can actually have dreams. The REM-induced ones.

John – UConn: I’ve got two dreams: one, a world where we fix our broken culture of masculinity, so young men get the chance to grow up and be normal, useful people instead of overcompetitive, bigoted, emotionally crippled date rapists. Two, which is I guess more of a nightmare, a world that doesn’t get nuked, globally warmed, smacked with an asteroid, aerosolized, Ebola’d or Gray Goo’d within my lifetime. Or ever, I guess.

Lauren – University of Michigan: It would be nice to see the American automakers producing cutting-edge technology to allow us to compete in the world market again and save the state of Michigan.

Amanda – Wagner: I would like to see our rights as women protected. I would also like to see more shirtless Obama!

Alex – Lakehead University: My dream is for the war in Iraq to be completely over and done with and have all the soldiers back home.

Thu – USC: More people being environmentally conscious. I know that more are becoming aware of their effect on the environment, so that’s already a great step toward improving our surroundings.

Meregan – Brown University: I would like Americans to be proud of this country again.

Mazuba – Westchester Community College: My dream is for Barack Obama to have a successful year in office and to solve the economic crisis. I also hope he helps use his power to end the war in Darfur .

Maddie – Tufts: I want to see college tuition made cheaper. Too many students are deprived of a good education because they can’t afford $50,000 (frightening, right?) a year.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: My dream is for gay couples to be legally recognized in this county; be that gay marriage, civil union, whatever. Give them the rights they deserve.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: I would like to see America make environment-friendly practices a priority.

Sarah – East Carolina University: I’d like to see the country unified and patriotic again, like we were just after 9/11. But we’re pretty polarized.