We all know Americans are lazy. We have the highest obesity rate in the world and we’re more well-known for our fast food chains than anything else. Except maybe Paris Hilton…which is even more depressing.

But how can we convince people to live more active lives when we’re constantly bombarded with inventions and machines that make it so easy to do everything without doing anything? Perhaps we should be taking some tips from the Swedish. They’ve come up with a brilliant plan to get people to get off their lazy asses and onto the stairs.

By making them fun.

How cool is that? Just imagine how much more fun your life would be if they installed this in your city. You’d be like Beethoven…with a great ass.

Scientists these days must be bored out of their minds, because many of the health studies that have been cropping up lately are painfully uninteresting. The results are so obvious that they might as well skip the experiment and just use their common sense. These “duh” stories really make you question the direction in which science is headed. Don’t these scientists have more important (and more shocking) discoveries to make?

Obese Americans Spend Far More on Health Care
The New York Times
According to a recent study, obese Americans spend 42% more on health care than Americans of normal weight. Although this is a serious issue, did we really need a formal study to tell us this? Who needs one to see that obesity (and the many health problems that result from it) is costly?

As Speed Limits Rise, So Do Death Tolls
The New York Times
A study of highway fatality rates has found that road deaths increased 3% after 1995, following the federal government’s repeal of the 55 mile-per-hour speed limit. Higher speed limits = more highway fatalities? I never would’ve imagined that. Read More »

Health guidelines and facts are constantly changing as we learn more about the human body and what we need to stay strong. To maintain optimal health, you need to keep up to date with the newest in fitness, nutrition and medical research.

Check out the latest headlines about that unique body of yours:

- My morning cup (or 7) of Joe has been my favorite workout buddy for a long time. Not only does it give me energy, but new research proves that it lessens the pain that comes after an intense workout! Caffeine blocks the brain and spinal cord from processing the biochemical adenosine, preventing pain during and after your spin on the stationary bike. You don’t need to drink as much caffeine as I do (shoot…I shouldn’t be drinking as much caffeine as I do!) to feel the benefits. A modest 2 cup serving of java will do the trick. Just don’t go overboard; if you’re heart rate is too high, working out may be more difficult than necessary. Read More »

While my own 36-B boobs don’t quite fit the trend, recent research suggests that women’s boobs are getting bigger.

A study out of New Zealand found that “Sales of D to J cup sizes have increased by 53 percent over the past three years, compared to a 2 percent increase in the sales figures of AA to C-cupped bras.”

Whoa mama. That’s a lot of breast in just three years!

Many stores in England have already started responding to the increase in size demand for larger cup sizes, some even stocking up to a K-cup!

Why the sudden increase? Many claim it has to do with diet and lifestyle; the increase in obesity worldwide would naturally mean an increase in breast size. Others argue that the hormones pumped into our food (specifically milk products) could also be to blame.

Whatever the reason, though, it seems that at the rate we are going, small breasts will soon be a thing of the past, much like bell bottoms, a booming US economy, and Full House.

Except for mine, of course. I’ve been waiting for these girls to grow since the 4th grade and they just won’t budge. I’ll just take comfort in knowing that Victoria’s Secret will never run out of my bra size again.

Dear Mean Bloggers/News Outlets of the Americas,

Are you kidding me? Like, seriously; are you freaking kidding me?

You’re calling Jessica Simpson fat? FAT?! Maybe she put on a few pounds this winter (just like the rest of the population), or maybe she is the victim of a terrible, TERRIBLE, wardrobe malfunction (hello, mom jeans), but the girl is by no means fat.

I won’t even comment on how ridiculous our society is that this is one of the top headlines today. (Ok, yes I will. There are much bigger things happening in this world right now – things that matter – and all I can find online is a picture after picture of Jessica Simpson’s “severe weight gain”?) And who are we that we have the right to call anyone fat? Unless you have a medical degree or some kind of nutrition background, SHUT UP; it’s not your place to comment.

These days it is so easy to bring someone down thanks to the privacy we have behind our computer screens, but that doesn’t mean we should. Especially when the entire purpose of the comments people make is to be mean and hurtful. These comments are not concerned about her health – and she sure doesn’t seem to be at risk for obesity – so why are we even commenting on her figure at all? Does it feel good to see someone else with flaws? Does it make us feel better to be catty, mean bitches?

If anything I think it makes us look even more insecure about our bodies and ourselves. Read More »

There are two things everyone know about Americans:

1. We are the fattest country in the world.

2. We are the largest oil consumer in the world.

(Honorable mention: we produced Paris Hilton.)

But what if we could solve both of those problems (sorry, there is no solving the Paris issue) at once?

Enter Dr. Alan Bittner, a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles. He used the fat he was sucking out of those vapid LA women and turned it into fuel for his SUV. Yes, you read that right: he drove to work with someone’s thighs.

Apparently, this isn’t anything new: “Fat–whether animal or vegetable–contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel.” Even companies like Tyson are looking at using the animal fat – currently an annoying biproduct of production – to fuel their delivery trucks

This news not only means that we can stop “funding terrorism” by depending on the Middle East for oil, but that the U.S. could become the largest exporter of oil in the world! No need for offshore drilling; think of all those overweight Americans that we could drill! Think of all the money we could make!

If this isn’t an answer to all of our problems (obesity, dependency on the Middle East, the recession), I don’t know what is. Seriously, you can start right here. I have enough fat on my butt to get myself home for the holidays.

Everyone knows Americans are fatter than ever, but a new book, The World is Fat, by Barry Popkin reveals that it’s not just us hopping on the obesity train. According to Popkin, over a billion people worldwide are now considered obese. A billion!

This includes people in China, in Africa and in rural parts of South America.

How is this happening? And is it our fault? Many people used to believe that obesity was caused by Americans and was exported worldwide through the sale of fast food, high calorie beverages and other fatty American foods. But it seems that is only part of the problem.

Popkin says:

“What’s happened is that from 30 years ago to today, we’ve had an exponential explosion in what we can think of as the “obesogenic environment.” You see food available everywhere. You can’t move more than 100 feet without seeing a caloric beverage. In most of the world, it used to be that people mostly drank water, and today they’re consuming more and more sweetened beverages…Then you match that kind of diet with human biology. We naturally prefer sweet and fatty foods because of what those foods used to mean for survival when we were hunter-gatherers. They had the nutrients we needed, and they let us store more energy for the hungry season.”

Add the increased availibility of food to the fact that people are moving less (thanks to the advancement of technology) and weight gain is inevitable.

Individuals can combat obesity by doing the obvious – moving more and consuming less – but Popkin argues that there needs to be a global initiative to fight this problem. The only question is: what can we do? If this is the natural progression of things, is there really anything anyone can do to stop it? Is the world just going to keep getting fatter and fatter?

The world’s fattest man, Manuel Uribe, recently married his girlfriend of 2 years, Claudia Solis, in Mexico. This left many a women pondering “…and why am I still single?”

The answer is simple: You aren’t eating enough.

Studies show that overweight women have more sex than women of average weight. In fact, according to research done by the University of Hawaii and Oregon State, “Ninety-two percent of overweight women reported having a history of sexual intercourse with a man, as opposed to 87 percent of women with a normal body mass index.”

92%. N-I-N-E-T-Y-T-W-O.

That’s no small number…

Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro from the University of Hawaii’s School of Medicine said that “These results were unexpected and we don’t really know why this is the case.”

Maybe it’s because these women have a bit more to love; maybe they are self-confident without any crazy body issues; or maybe we are finally seeing that men are not attracted to super thin women, but rather to women with a more natural and curvy body.

Which would be great news for women everywhere. Especially me…as I sit here eating a bagel. So this Halloween, ladies, all I can say is: indulge in your favorite chocolatey treats!

It’ll up your chances of gettin laid!

We’ve all heard of the crazy lengths that people go to for weight loss: diet sunglasses that tint everything blue and supposedly make food less appealing, torturous diets that consist of only cabbage soup, and my personal favorite: slimming soap. Because washing away your fat is just so much easier than just eating healthy and exercising.

Well, now researchers at UC San Diego have performed the first U.S. gastrectomy, a procedure where 80 percent of the stomach is removed, through an area that should never have anything other than a baby coming out of it.

Yup, that’s right, they removed a chunk of stomach through a woman’s vagina.

All in the name of weight loss.

I was baffled after reading this and had to find out details… Apparently, the procedure is very promising for the future of obesity surgery. According to the article, “This new ‘natural orifice’ technique may be an attractive alternative for the 200,000 U.S. patients who undergo surgery for the treatment of obesity each year.”

I’m sorry, but I think I’ll keep my ‘natural orifice’ off limits as an exit route for parts of my insides. Read More »

We always hear about the obesity epidemic in America: It’s a major issue! People are dying! Fat people are evil! While it’s true that being overweight can lead to serious health problems, it is not true that being overweight automatically means being unhealthy.

Which explains the new “Fat Acceptance” movement that is spreading across the country. Activists and supporters of this movement are screaming from the rooftops that being fat is OK, and as long as people are making good choices to support a healthy lifestyle it should not matter what size pants they wear.

And I totally concur. I cannot tell you how sick I am of salads, fad diets and feeling guilty when I want a Potbelly Oreo Shake so badly I could punch someone. So, you know what? I’m joining this movement and I urge you to do the same. Stop kicking yourself for enjoying a hot dog at your football tailgate. Stop crying after a late night pizza binge.

Put down that carrot and join me in embracing ourselves, no matter what size we are. And what is the best way to do that? By enjoying some of life’s most delectable treats. Come on, it’s OK; fat is in! Read More »