Sex is great (OK, great is an understatement, but let’s move on), but what do you do when it’s not? Pain during sex is surprisingly common and can happen for a number of reasons. This week, I’m going to break a few down of the most common causes so that you can get back to screaming from pleasure, not pain.

Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness is probably the most common cause of painful sex, but it’s also the easiest to deal with. Vaginal dryness can be caused by the pill or antidepressants (both lower libido) or by inadequate arousal. To remedy the problem, indulge in more foreplay before the act (easy enough) and use a water based lubricant.

Vaginal Infection
If pain is severe or you feel itchy and irritated down there, it could be an infection (like of the yeast variety).  If you think you have an infection you should see a doctor. Over-the-counter medicine like Vagisil can help with itching or pain.

Vaginismus
Vaginismus is involuntary tightness of the vagina due to contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. If penetration is regularly painful enough to make it nearly impossible, it’s time to see a doctor. There’s no known cause or quick cure for vaginismus; according to Google Health, “treatment involves extensive therapy that combines education, counseling, and behavioral exercises. Such exercises include pelvic floor muscle contraction and relaxation (Kegel exercises).” Read More »

"Hm. That doesn't smell right..."

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like the ultimate cure for a hangover! – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: After unprotected sex I noticed my urine becoming really smelly on a consistent basis, which is a new thing for me. There are no other symptoms-no burning or itching or anything, just the smelliness when I pee. Could this be an STD??

A: Usually, healthy urine has almost no odor (unless you’ve been feasting on asparagus or other foods or vitamins that are known offenders).  If you are dehydrated, your urine will be more concentrated and may have a stronger smell. Also, if bacteria have contaminated the normally sterile urinary system, which happens when you have a urinary tract infection, you may notice an odor.

Most of the time, when women approach me complaining of foul-smelling urine, they’re actually smelling their vagina. If you have a vaginal infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or trichomonas vaginalis, you may notice that your vaginal discharge, when it mixes with your urine, smells icky.

While it could be a sexually transmitted disease, such as trichomonas infection, which causes a vaginal infection characterized by a foul-smelling odor, most STD’s do not cause your urine to smell. Sex however, can trigger urinary tract infections, and infected urine may smell icky.

I would suggest a visit to the gynecologist. Make sure they check out your vagina, as well as your urine, to make sure there are no infections either place. And if you’ve had unprotected sex, go ahead and get tested for everything while you’re there. You can set a good example for your partner and feel more secure about next time.

–Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I know this sounds strange, but I think my boobs are weird. I’m way past puberty, but they look pretty much the same as they did when I was younger, only marginally bigger. The boob is cone shaped and my nipples are super light and don’t really look the same as what I see in movies/on my friends. Is there something wrong? Should all adult female breasts/nipples look the same?

A: All boobs and nipples are different. Every single one of us has boobs like snowflakes. Keep in mind that the boobs you see in movies and magazines are often the result of plastic surgery and airbrushing. If your boobs look different, you’re not alone. Read More »

My abs are tight. My legs are toned. But what about my lady parts?!

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: Everyone is always talking about Kegel exercises. Do those things really help? And do we really need to do them? I’ve had a boyfriend for 3 years (and we’ve been having regular sex for the entire time), so is it possible that I’m not as “toned” down there as I could be? Is that something I need to worry about?

A: Do the rest of you know what a Kegel exercise is?  It’s an exercise to strengthen the pelvic floor. To do Kegel exercises, contract and release the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening. If you’re not sure what I mean, run to the restroom, pee, and try to stop your urine mid-stream. Those are the muscles we’re talking about here.

How can Kegels help you? Let’s break it down into three ways- sexual enhancement, prevention, and treatment.  Because these muscles tone the vagina, they can be used to enhance intercourse. By contracting these muscles, you may offer additional pleasure for you and your lover, especially if you’ve had a few babies and things have become a bit loosely goosey down there.

What about prevention? As we age, our tissue gets weaker and our risk of pelvic prolapse and urinary incontinence increases.  What’s pelvic prolapse? Well, believe it or not, your uterus, bladder, vagina, and rectum can all sort of fall out. I’ve seen uteruses hanging between people’s legs and herniations of the bladder and rectum into the vagina. This looseness in the vagina can lead to incontinence, pelvic pressure, difficulty with urinating and having bowel movements, and a whole host of other unpleasant symptoms. Kegel exercises help prevent pelvic prolapse and incontinence.  By toning these muscles, you help keep things tucked up inside, where they belong. Read More »

"Hm. Maybe this job is better suited for a lady?"

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like the first-semester boyfriend!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Ok, let’s be honest, no one likes going to the doctor. Throw in a paper gown, putting your legs in stirrups and a “spreader” and it’s no surprise that a lot of us avoid going to the gynecologist like a plague of genital warts. But the truth is that there’s no way to really be in charge of your sexual life unless you bother to stay sexually healthy, and the lady-parts doctor is a necessary part of that.

While we try to give you hand with some of those problems here at College Candy, one of the biggest obstacles between “tear-my-hair-out terrifying” and “not my favorite thing, but bearable” is finding a down-there doctor you like, trust and feel comfortable around – and not surprisingly, a big factor for a lot of ladies is their doc’s gender. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: This is a really gross question, but I have to ask someone.

I discharge…a lot. And it’s not just around the time of my period. It’s random and plentiful. Ew. Anyways, I don’t know what to do about it or if it’s caused by something serious? Help. I’m afraid to be with a boy because he’ll be super grossed out.

A: This isn’t gross, sweetie. It’s your body, and discharge is a normal part of being a woman. But I wish I had more information. Is your discharge white, clear, or greenish? Does it have an odor- like fish or fresh bread- or is it odorless? Do you have any vaginal itching or burning? Is it there all the time, or just in the second half of your cycle? Have you been checked for sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) like gonorrhea and chlamydia?

Without knowing those answers, it’s hard for me to comment on your specific situation. If you haven’t seen a doctor about this issue, it’s time. Go in, let your gyno take a gander, and make sure you’re not missing something. Sometimes, an increase in vaginal discharge is the only sign we have that something’s going on down there. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: My period is irregular every month. Sometimes it comes 6 weeks apart and other times it can be up to 9.  I am not on birth control (can’t handle the side effects) and practice safe sex with my boyfriend. The problem is that I get freaked out every month that I’m pregnant. How soon can I take the test? Are there any signs I can look for that will either tell me I’m absolutely not pregnant or that maybe I am?

A: Sounds like your periods are annoying, unpredictable and scary. Bummer about that.  Chances are, if your periods are that irregular, that you’re not ovulating regularly, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Your ovaries can still spit out an egg from time to time. When you’re not ovulating regularly, your uterus doesn’t know when to bleed, and your hormones can be all over the place.  Why might you be skipping periods or not ovulating? Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am not in a serious relationship, so I don’t have sex very often. When I do, though, it always hurts. Sometimes even more than the first time. Why is that? Is there something I can do so it doesn’t hurt anymore?

A: Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry! Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Isn’t sex always easy, painless, and orgasmic in the movies? Maybe so, but what you’re experiencing is not uncommon in real life.  In fact, I suffered from the same problem myself back when I was in my twenties.  Have you seen a gynecologist about this issue? There are a number of reasons you may be experiencing pain, and your doctor might be able to help you. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I’ve been on the pill (normal combination pill) for 3 years. I am very happy with it. I never miss a pill, but I take it at very different times during the morning. Does this decrease the effectiveness?

A: It’s always better if you can take your pill as close to the same time as possible, but if you normally take it at 8am and the next day, it’s not until 11am, that shouldn’t make much difference. The one exception is very low dose pills like Yaz and Mircette (pills with 20 micrograms of estrogen). In this case, it’s more important to try to remember to take your pill at the same time.

Q: I was also wondering, is it possible to use the pill with the Mirena IUD? Would you recommend it?

I hear you, sister. I’m assuming you DO NOT want to get pregnant! While I appreciate the sentiment, I would not recommend using a Mirena IUD with a birth control pill. Both contain hormones that act differently. And since both the Mirena IUD and oral contraceptives are highly effective, I don’t see the reason to assume the risks of both. If you’re particularly worried about pregnancy and want to use double protection, consider condoms plus the Pill or condoms plus an IUD. But adding two hormonal methods together can really mess up your system.   Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

After so many of you wrote in to ask Dr. Lissa Rankin questions during CollegeCandy’s STD Awareness Day, we thought we’d bring her back more regularly. So, every Thursday she will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am on the birth control pill and I want to stop using condoms with my boyfriend. I know he is clean, so I am not worried about STDs, but I am worried about pregnancy. Is the birth control pill enough to keep me from getting pregnant? Am I safe without condoms? I’m sorta freaking out, so any answers you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

A: Well, you know what they say- the only perfect birth control is abstinence (with one famous exception- and even that is highly contested!).  But the birth control pill, when taken daily – without fail – is extremely effective. Are you the type that forgets your pill from time to time?  Lower dose pills (ones that have 20 micrograms of estrogen, like Yaz or Lo-Estrin 1/20) are pickier pills, meaning that it’s more important that you take them at the same time every day.  But if you’re good about taking your pill every day, around the same time, you’re pretty darn close to protected (>99%). Read More »