There are two things everyone know about Americans:

1. We are the fattest country in the world.

2. We are the largest oil consumer in the world.

(Honorable mention: we produced Paris Hilton.)

But what if we could solve both of those problems (sorry, there is no solving the Paris issue) at once?

Enter Dr. Alan Bittner, a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles. He used the fat he was sucking out of those vapid LA women and turned it into fuel for his SUV. Yes, you read that right: he drove to work with someone’s thighs.

Apparently, this isn’t anything new: “Fat–whether animal or vegetable–contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel.” Even companies like Tyson are looking at using the animal fat – currently an annoying biproduct of production – to fuel their delivery trucks

This news not only means that we can stop “funding terrorism” by depending on the Middle East for oil, but that the U.S. could become the largest exporter of oil in the world! No need for offshore drilling; think of all those overweight Americans that we could drill! Think of all the money we could make!

If this isn’t an answer to all of our problems (obesity, dependency on the Middle East, the recession), I don’t know what is. Seriously, you can start right here. I have enough fat on my butt to get myself home for the holidays.

In a time when we are drowning in an ocean of environmental crisis, you would think our world leaders would be able to do a bit more than just give the issues lip-service.

The three-day G8 summit in Japan, with a record 22 nations participating, ended yesterday, with too much fluffy, evasive and idealistic talk and not enough balls-to-the-wall action.

Much like a flighty boyfriend, the world leaders failed to commit. Although developing and developed nations alike agreed that “deep cuts” were needed, they never agreed on setting specific targets. I nstead, they concluded that the reduction in greenhouse gases should take place according to the means of each country. Vague much?

True, they did commit to halve global greenhouse gas emissions by 2050. But the leaders failed to agree on a base year with which to compare emission levels. In essence, they’re going to try to lower emissions levels — but with no tangible standards or base comparisons, this undefined action is a muddled exercise with good intentions. Some took this as evidence that big-boy polluters, aka China and India, were still not willing to commit themselves to internationally agreed cuts. Read More »

The point of a thong is the minimal coverage. Clearly not the best disguise.

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Picturing that friend naked every time to look at him? Wanna get…naughty? Yahoo tells you how.

3G iPhone announced pissing off the millions who bought the first one. Especially me, damn it.

Oil prices and unemployment rise, but, still, George W. says it’s all OK. So, it must be!

Don’t know what to do after college? Why not take a few years and change the world.

You can’t put it off any longer. How to buy a bathing suit (without the tears).