You want some Lady Gaga hair?

So, who’s gonna rock out at Lilith Fair?

Probably not the best disguise of all time…

The hottest colors of fall/winter 2009.

OK! Magazine is obsessed with Kristen and RPatz.

The First Lady’s thoughts on dating.

Ok, so maybe the economy isn’t looking so great, afterall.

Career change for Rihanna?

These people liked Michael Jackson a bit too much.

No dorm room is complete without the neon sign.

DIY circumcision? With a nail clipper?!

But even I, as much of a celeb-session that I have, do not think it’s appropriate to showcase your one month old child on the cover of US Weekly, People, In Touch, OK! or others, bartering with various publications for who will pay the most for the first pics of the new bebe.

In an article by Forbes Magazine, the topic of celebrity baby pictures – and the outlandish prices – was addressed. According to reports, JLo and Marc Anthony were paid $6 million from People Magazine for the first shots of the twins. $6 million?! For baby photos?! That’s more than I’ll make in a lifetime – hey, that’s more than everyone I know combined will make in a life time!

While I think it’s ridiculous to pull figures for your children, at least, if you do it, be charitable about it. Take the famous Brangelina couple, who, at the birth of Shiloh in 2006, were paid $4.1 million by People for the pics, all of which they donated entirely to an African charity. Okay so, still not the best idea to pimp out your kid for some dough, but at least, if you’re going to do it (which they all are – can we guess how much Ashlee & Pete will get???), they did it with some class.

An editor from OK! was interviewed for the article and said the price for the pics is absolutely worth it, as they sell magazine’s like hot cakes. (The Shiloh cover sold 2.2 million copies, which is 45% above the average circulation.) Clearly, I get why magazines want the pictures, but why do WE, us average joes, care so much?

I’ll be the first to admit that I still – despite my ranting and raving – pick up those magazines and flip directly to JLo’s twins, or Angie’s baby girl to see the first glimpse of the baby, the nursery and the happy parents. I think we care so much because we revel in the unknown. The fact that JLo and Marc Anthony can spend millions on a baby nursery is something I’ll never be able to do, so looking at their fortunes intrigues me.

While discussing this topic with some friends, we also decided that seeing Angelina beat the crap out of 10 guys at once is one thing, but seeing her arms wrapped around a child makes her seem normal, grounded and real. Also, I think we’re just nosy little people who thrive on finding out every aspect of these individuals lives, when really, there are much bigger fish to fry when it comes to life’s necessities.

I understand you are proud of your children, but marketing your child is not something I will ever advocate for. Yes, the stars can demand their own prices, their own regulations and decisions, but when is enough, enough when it comes to exploiting the gift that you’re supposed to experience in private with your family? It’s one thing to put yourself out there on the movie screen, TV show or magazine covers, but please, spare your children.

Not every star will conform though. My favorite NYC fashionista, Sarah Jessica Parker, reportedly turned down roughly $1 million in 2002 for pictures of her son James. Thatta girl sister. Way to stand alone.

(Photo courtesy of fashiontribes.com)

I can’t believe that I’m going to say this – but if you forget the infidelity and the fact that he probably gets his hair Japanese straightened, Mario Lopez has a smokin’ body.

Song of the week

Katy Perry, “I Kissed a Girl”.

I hate this song.

Freak Show

Verne Troyer/Mini-Me sex tape. Why don’t they just pour acid on our eyes?

Am I the only one who thinks that Jennifer Lopez would be absolutely frightening if you pissed her off even just a tiny bit? FYI, you may get the store discount if you ask nicely and don’t have your bodyguard show a gun to the shop girl.

OK! Magazine paid Jamie Lynn Spears $1 million for baby pictures. A million. For Jamie. Lynn. Spears?

Splitsville?

Madonna and Guy Ritchie divorce rumors have been in and out of the rags for years, but it seems Madonna is getting a bit more serious this time.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are so rarely photographed together that I’m not surprised that the separation rumor is floating around. Still, I don’t want to believe it.

Is there a worse way for a relationship to end? Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend is going to jail for a loooong time. Further proof that celebrities are not perfect: they don’t know how to pick ‘em either.

Movies

Am I the only one who is just waiting out this wave of crappy movies for “The Dark Night” to come out? I miss my boyfriend (in my head).

Couple of the Week

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. I love them together.

[Photo courtesy of Espn950.com]

Just kidding, but with all the relentless (and unprotected) celebrity sex stuff going on recently, that sort of thing wouldn’t be hard to believe.

In case you’re not big into tabloids (but of course you are, since like, what else is there to read these days?), Little Spears isn’t the only one on the fast and furious “accidentally pregnant” train. 22-year-old singer Lilly Allen announced she’s carrying Chemical Brothers musician Ed Simons’s baby almost at the exact second Jamie Lynn jumped onto the cover of Ok! Magazine, while beating out both starlets in the baby drama department was presidential hopeful John Edwards.

That’s right. John Edwards. The guy with the hair. Who’s running for president.

Apparently, some chick told the National Enquirer a few months back that Edwards cheated on his sick wife with her, leaving her sperminated and disgraced.

The news today is that an “ex-key official” in Edwards’s campaign (who has a family of his own) is actually the baby daddy, allowing Edwards to have some of his integrity back, but not all, since he totally had a lying bastard working for him.

Now, I’m aware that sex is a pretty popular activity, but when the hell did it start to become popular to have unplanned pregnancies?! Obviously, this sort of thing happens, but when you’re rich and famous, one would think you’d have enough change in your pockets to buy a few boxes of condoms or get yourself a nice supply of birth control pills.

Kids aren’t like designer purses. Just because they’re fashionable right now doesn’t mean that you can trade them in for something better later. Young Hollywood (and ex-presidential officials) better start smartening up fast, or there’s gonna be a whole lot of baby backlash.

OK! Magazine is reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears, the supposed “good sister” to a psychotic, dramz addicted older sibling, is, as we speak, 16 and pregnant.

Yup. The Nickelodeon star just confirmed to the mag (and subsequently, the world) that she’s got a bun in the oven courtesy of her “live-in” 19-year-old boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.

This is:

A) horrible news… and

B) even more confirmation that the Spears clan drinks a special kind of water spiked with “bad – decisions – that – will – effect – your – entire – life – and – ruin – your – career” vitamins.

While 10pm on a Tuesday night yields no comment from Nickelodeon, one can only assume that an unwed, pregnant teenager is not exactly the kind of role model they’re looking to endorse, and The Littlest Spears is most likely going to get a front row seat to her own career meltdown.

…That is, unless MTV calls her up and asks her to do a reality series.

“Jamie Lynn Spears: My Life As a Stupid, Pregnant Teenager” anyone?

Seeing an ex sucks, but when you’re looking hot and life is going well a hot body can be the best revenge. Every girl knows that.

Which is exactly why Jennifer Aniston’s tabloid pictures were causing such a buzz after her Hawaiian vacay. She looked hot in her teensy weensy bikini and for once SHE was all anyone could discuss instead of Brad, Angie and their expanding brood of babies.

Of course, Jen had nothing to say about her hot body pics, but a friend told OK! Magazine,

“She didn’t realize the impact it had until she was back in Los Angeles after the trip. Everywhere she went, everyone she spoke to (told her) what an absolute knockout she is and what great shape she’s in. For a 38-year-old woman who has just come out of a relationship and hasn’t been in front of the cameras in two years — it had her walking on air.”

Not that Jen should have been worried in the first place. Her body, at 38, is more toned than mine may ever be.

But now that her ego has been significantly boosted, lets see if she can work that body in front of the camera, and you know…put out a decent movie.

I don’t know just an idea, although the future doesn’t look promising.

The tacky tabloid is reporting that Ms. Insane’s photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine went so badly that the publishers are deciding whether “to report what actually happened—or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.”

Apparently, the mother of two was acting strange throughout the entire interview, and escaped “to the bathroom” a number of times, coming back from each trip a little more whacked out than before.

When the photographers tried to get Spears into hair and make-up, she “refused to let the hired help touch her” and insisted that her “friends” (whoever those brave souls are at this point) do her up the way she always looks these days—trashy and cheap.

TMZ goes on to report that after ordering some fried chicken, Spears “wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot” and later cleaned up her dog’s poop with another designer dress that wasn’t hers.

An “insider” with OK! also claims that the pictures taken of Brit were “so bad” that the magazine is trying to figure out if they should publish them or not.

While B. Spears has certainly proven herself a strange, irrational being in the last couple of months, this report by TMZ makes her seem like some kind of Frankenstein-esque, uneducated she-monster. Could the “Toxic” star really be going off the deep end, or is this just another example of a trashy tabloid stretching the truth till it resembles something else?

As for me, I’m going to hope for the best for Brit, but prepare myself to accept the worst. After all, hooker clothes don’t exactly scream calm and levelheaded.