Got a question? Email Tuffy Luv at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered right.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I dated this guy who I thought was it for 2 years, but I ultimately ended it because he moved away and our relationship became strained and our communications broke down. We planned on seeing where things would go when he came back, but before that happened, we got into a big fight about past things that I thought were non-issues.

We stopped talking for almost a year, but then right before the summer started I began thinking about him more and more. and then ran into him while at his neighbor’s place. We texted each other that day and said that we’re both over all the issues that started the fight. It has been a week since then, and I can’t stop thinking about him. It has caused me to have a lack of sleep, and a lot of stress.

What should I do?

Thanks,
Julie

Dear Julie,

I hate to say it, but I think it might be worth taking a chance on this guy.

Why do I hate to say it, and why do I think it’s worth the chance? Why, by gum, I’ll tell you, Julie, I’ll tell you right now.

Why I hate to say it: Well, usually when you break up with someone, there’s a reason. Unfortunately, cruel human nature makes us forget and–sigh–romanticize the hell out of past relationships. But 9 times out of 10, when you give it another go, you remember very quickly why it didn’t work out in the first place.

Why I think it might be worth taking a chance on this guy: Well, for one thing, you once thought you’d be spending the rest of your life with him. If you really mean it, that’s a major thing to say. Something about him seemed really right to you, and there’s something to be considered in that. And then, of course, there’s the fact that you’re both over these issues. Plus he’s back in town, right? Why not give it another chance?

In short, Jules, you can’t stop thinking about the guy and the issues you two once had have now dissolved. What’s the harm in seeing if there are still sparks? Call the guy up and get started on the rest of your life. I genuinely hope it works out.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Sooner or later, your boyfriend will turn into your ex.So the question becomes: Can you stay friends with the person who once held you when your goldfish died?

Although there is no one answer to a question that has plagued couples (and their new mates) for centuries, there are a few guidelines that can make a confusing time a little easier to deal with.

Most importantly, the circumstances that contributed to the break-up can offer a clue. For most couples who parted on (relatively) civil terms, maintaining a close friendship afterwards only means that one of you started playing for the other team (read: not very common).

On the other hand, staying friend-ly is only a natural progression of a once-intimate relationship.

Unless one of you is still hoping for a chance at rekindling the old flame, it only makes sense that you would have a genuine interest in your ex’s well-being. Just be careful you won’t get jealous if they move on before you do.

Unfortunately, some relationships end in an explosion. Instead of growing apart gradually, the couple finds itself hating each other and harboring hurt, resentment, anger or jealousy.

What’s worse, some relationships end because it’s become unhealthy, and these are the ones that should be left firmly in the past. There is no point in trying to salvage anything valuable from the wreckage.

Although it might feel like ripping off a band-aid, ending a bad relationship in a quick gesture is the best way to start making new friends ’ and the best part is, they haven’t seen you naked.

Yet.