With only 20 days until I take my last Spanish exam before waltzing off campus (and into the nearest bar), Spring Break fever has taken over my school faster than H1N1 did last October. While I won’t be jet-setting off to Vegas or Cabo (sighhh) for a week of pool-side margaritas this year, I will be vicariously living through my friends that are. And knowing them, they’ll be out on the beach the whole week, causing trouble, and meeting some definite characters.

Planning to migrate south for SB, too? Here are the five people you’ll meet during your stay, whether you want to or not: Read More »

Recently, BeautifulPeople.com – an online dating service for, well, beautiful people – cleansed itself of its fatter members. After receiving customer complaints (from some ridiculously good looking people, I presume), the website went through and kicked out anyone with a little extra junk in their trunk.

While I’m happy I was never a member of such a shallow and douchey organization (mostly because I would have been one of the many kicked off, thanks to my love of anything frosted), this move to improve the service for members got me thinking about my own online dating experiences.

I’ve been a member of an online dating site for a year now. I have yet to find the love of my life, but I have had a few good dates… and way too many creepy interactions to count. Seriously, these sites will let anyone with a computer and $29.99 a month to join. And I mean anyone. I’d like to believe that there is someone out there for me and that taking my dating online will increase my chances of finding him, but it’s nearly impossible to stay optimistic when this guy is sending me messages daily.

So maybe BeautifulPeople.com took things a tad too far (What – only thin people can be considered beautiful??), but as long as we’re on the subject, I’ve got a few online daters of my own that should get the boot. You listening, JDate? Read More »

Geez. The only things I ever worried about with older men were bald spots, wrinkley…you know, hairy backs and impotence. But dating an older guy will kill me?

I’ll just stick with cradle robbery.

Frat parties: after eight months of their splendor we swear them off for eternity. As soon as freshman year ends and we move out of the dorms we promise never to return to their sweaty sleazy goodness.

Who wants to wait in those long lines freezing to death in a mini skirt and tube top in the middle of winter? Who wants to be packed into a small room with sweaty men groping your ass at every turn?

Who wants to listen to that awful rap music boasting illegitimate children and millions of dollars worth of bling blaring from oversized speakers?

Not me…or so I thought.

Look at me now: freezing to death in a pair of jeans and a button down, waiting in line to get into a crowded room where older and sleazier men are trying to pinch my butt while grinding to awful rap music blaring from oversized speakers.

What’s the difference?

I am now paying for all of these lovely amenities.

Why is it ok to take part in these activities at a bar and not at a frat party? What is the difference, really? And, think about it, which one really is better? Let the battle begin:

Frat

No Toilet Paper- some women have been forced to drip dry or–gasp!–use items such as leaves and notebook paper while taking care of business.

Bar

Usually have toilet paper, but not always a working toilet. Some squatters have even been known to brush up against pre-used TP piled high in clogged bowls. Read More »

Yippee! So you might remember our lovely Jess’ blog on myfreeimplants.com, that skeevy site where men basically sponsor ladies who put up profiles and buy them boob implants. Sweet life.

Well super-cool Jessica Levine of Florida decided the website was no booby trap (pun most definitely and superbly intended) and ended up winning a great new set of lady lumps. Good for her, way to go chicky.

Really, I’d bash this whole system, website, idea, all the girls who actually participate, all the guys who actually give up their hard earned Benjamins for some lip-glossed randy, but honestly? It’d be too easy. I feel no need to bother.

The best part? The check was presented to Levine on the last day of the Erotica-LA convention (at least it wasn’t Star Wars?) by the Pulitzer Prize winner Jenna Jameson (just kidding).

Now, if Jameson and a porno parade are involved, it must be a pretty legit organization, no doubt (somewhere Hugh Heffner is nodding his head).

The moral of the story? Read More »

You’ve worked extra hard to get the money to rent that beach house with friends, ran a few extra laps at the gym to fit in that bathing suit, and have been sneaking into a Mystic Tan booth once a week so you can look naturally bronzed. Now that you’re finally ready to enjoy your summer, what’s the last thing you want to deal with?

Creepy old men.

Oh yes. They’re no longer just standing with their equally balding buddies in the corner of your favorite bar, perpetually trying to buy you cheap drinks, slurring that if they didn’t have a wife and three kids they’d “totally take you out”. They’re now renting beach houses in the same places you are, just waiting to pull out their towels and plop their 40-Something bodies down next to you in the sand.

According to an article in The New York Times, there’s a breed of older men who just aren’t ready to give up their college lifestyle—even though college ended twenty years ago. These guys have been renting summer shares for decades, and see no reason to leave their annual vacations, or cruising ways, behind. Read More »