I have nine months to grapple with my disbelief over dating a 30-year-old before my boyfriend actually celebrates his third decade of life. At 21, I’m young enough to lack the proper shame for being broke, have neither a bachelor’s degree nor any discernible expertise, and occasionally cheat the public transportation system by paying youth fare. My boyfriend shares none of these qualities and certainly couldn’t pull off the latter, but we are remarkably compatible despite a seven-and-a-half-year age difference.

I could list a litany of reasons why we’re an amazing couple (and alienate a large portion of readers while I’m at it), but the ultimate factor in the success of our relationship is not communication, trust, or any other idealized attribute. What it comes down to is something quite practical: similar expectations. It might not seem romantic, but if you’re going to date a 30-year-old at 21, it matters a great deal if he wants to 1) get married, 2) have children, or 3) do anything requiring more than six-months commitment at a time. Communication goes out the window when he’s communicating his desire for you to bear his first child.

In my personal experience, I’ve also found that an age difference matters far less than a difference in lifestyle. Granted, my boyfriend and I share plenty of commonalities — similarly subversive viewpoints, a deep affection for his bulldog, a disdain for abstinence in any form — but our relationship is also aided by the fact that neither of us has 9-to-5 aspirations for the immediate future. The same can’t be said for other guys I’ve dated, plenty who were younger than my boyfriend and eager to complete 100-hour work weeks in the pursuit of corporate glory. It never would’ve worked with any of them — not just because I won’t stand for scheduling dates via personal assistants, but also because a man who interacts with Excel all day can’t possibly have anything interesting to say to me over dinner. Read More »

Got a question for the Tuffmeister? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So I’m dating this great guy but here’s the problem: I’m 21 and he’s 44. Which I’m fine with. But all my friends think it’s kind of skeezy. And I  haven’t told my parents yet because I’m worried they might freak out. But it’s a really good relationship. He’s really sweet and smart and he takes me out to places I could definitely not afford on my own. What do you think? Skeezy or just a really good relationship that happens to come with perks?

Likes Her Guy Read More »

I’ve always been a firm supporter of the phrase, “It’s five o’clock somewhere,” it is almost like a mantra to me.

Whether it was the mimosa I’d sip on Monday morning before class, blind-eyed to my roommate’s disapproving glares, or spiking my Coke with a little nip of rum in the dining commons at lunch to my friends’ bemusement, I’d just smile real big and cluck, “It’s five o’clock somewhere guys! Loosen up!”

Alright so maybe my tendencies slightly resemble that of Sully, the homeless alcoholic on the corner block who’s always singing Ace of Base off-key — But hey! Cheers to being young and reckless! At least he ‘saw the sign’…for happy hour.

Either way, such tendencies made it no surprise at all that I found myself in a bar (Thank you trusty fake ID!) this past Friday getting some drinks with a friend. After a hard week of internship pandemonium, a stiff drink in the city was just the cure. Read More »