“I don’t date guys with gray pubes.” (Thank you Eden.)

“Make love to me Christian; take care of me.” (Make up your mind already Julia — men or women?)

Both lady’s comments made me wonder two things: (1) Are older men less capable of having casual sex? (2) Do all women really want to be taken care of/feel safe?

The Eden/Sean thing was inevitable even though I’d always thought he was too good a guy to do an 18 year-old. However, I was surprised to learn that he wanted more than just a physical relationship with Eden. After resisting her for so long, wouldn’t he want it to be more of a “wham, bam, thank ya m’am” kinda situation?

According to Eden “the sexpert”, older men can’t really do the whole casual sex thing; it seems they are more interested in real relationships and more susceptible to attachment. Not gonna lie, considering this gave me hope that I’ll one day find a mature, relationship-oriented guy. (Never did I ever expect to be enlightened by an 18 year-old tramp on a plastic surgery show.)

Then we have Julia. She really showed some serious strength in this episode. Not only was she the more calm and collected one in her lesbian love affair when the they got mugged, but she decided to buy a gun in order to stay safe. I was impressed… until she showed up at Christian’s door and practically begged him to not only have sex with her, but to “take care of her.”

Although she was so strong earlier in the episode, protecting her women and whatnot, she really wanted to feel safe … with a man. Honestly, I think most girls will admit that feeling a sense of safeness with their significant other is extremely appealing. I know I want to know that I am protected. Obviously, Olivia’s response to the mugging incident was quite a turn off.

One more thing. Can we talk about how Sean and Christian seem to be reversing roles a bit. Sean is becoming more sexual and scandelous, while Christian is acting more fatherly and compassionate. Are things going to continue this way? I’m very intrigued.

Not only is reality tv dominating networks worldwide, but now it’s also inching it’s way into actual tv shows — i.e. our dear Nip/Tuck.

Although I must admit last night’s episode was a nice switch up from the status quo with the “Plastic Fantastic” title and theme song (that was hilarious), I doubt I’d ever feel as much love for the show if it continued that way. The drama was just too forced and completely exaggerated. It had never been more apparent to me that reality tv thrives on creating conflict even if there may or may not have been any to begin with.

I mean, we have Olivia and Liz making a love connection, Christian spilling the beans to Julia, Julia flipping out at the two lesbos and begging the cameras not to capture her emotional breakdown, while Eden races in after escaping from rehab and finally gets Sean to kiss her and Christian plays the guy who just wants to “help out.” It was total madness, well more than usual anyway.

It would of been way over the top if Kimber and Matt stormed in crying that their baby is addicted to crystal meth.

The juiciest part of the episode was probably the whole Sean/Eden affair finally happening. We KNEW without a doubt that even Dr. Mac wasn’t strong enough to resist that young vixen. As displayed by next week’s previews, this whole situation is going to create some serious waves.

Will Julia realize she’s still not over Sean? Or is she just being a possessive ex like any semi-normal chick?

We shall see my friends. We shall see.

Before I delve into how much oral activity went on last night (on the show of course), the beginning of Nip/Tuck was utterly horrifying. Dr. MacNamara’s new leading lady sh*t herself in his hot tub and was from that point referred to as “the sh*tter.”

Is it just me or does this girl seem way too unworthy of dating such a hot doctor? I don’t care that she used to be fat. I don’t mind that she has some intimacy issues. What bothers me is that her personality sucks. What does he see in her? Especially now that she’s literally sh*t all over him. Uh, so gross. I did however find all of the poop talk hilarious.

My prediction is that MacNamara dumps her and gets it on with Eden, lesbian Olivia’s overly sexual daughter, who’s hair is out of control. And side note: Is this chick for real? I mean what is she? A teen dominatrix? You’d think she were a tease, but I’m seriously doubt it.

Now on to the oral. GOOD LORD, what a variety. First we have the sh*tter giving Dr. Mac a BJ. Then we have Olivia going down on Julia. And last, but I’m sure not least, Kimber and Matt giving us a full on oral sex show after they smoked crack. And while we’re on the subject of these two, I was like “WHAT?!” when I watched this scene.

Their poor baby.

Above all, I think one of the highlights of the episode was when Julia slept with Christian. I know I was probably as shocked as him when she flat out said she did him to be done with him. Dude, you. Got. Served.

Now that the whole MacNamara/Troy family is back together again, we are all in for some crazy ass drama. God, I love this show.