Guess what’s just surfaced, ladies? Michael Phelps underwear ads!

It seems as though these ads have been out for awhile, but for those of you who are experiencing Phelps mania for the first time, these pics would most likely quell your (secret?) need to see the “fish boy” (as my dad calls him) naked. I mean, he’s not naked, but he’s in boxer briefs. It’s real close.

[Editor's Note: while Phelp's body is admittedly bangin', does anyone else think his face is...well...reminiscent of an elf in this picture? Like, Lord of the Rings style??]

Since nothing makes me hungrier than watching other people exert themselves, I’ve devised the perfect Olympics Dinner. It’s Team USA themed, scores a 10 in the taste factor, and is relatively easy to make. Join me in celebrating athleticism with decidedly non-heathly food, won’t you?

Go Team USA! Dinner:

All American Hamburgers:

2 stalks of celery

2-3 pads of butter

Ground meat (enough to serve 4)

1/4 cup breadcrumbs

1 ounce package McCormick gravy mix (or some other kind)

Preheat your oven to 400F

In a skillet, saute your celery for about 5 minutes. Remove from heat

Take out a bowl and combine the celery, the breadcrumbs, the gravy mix, and the meat

With the rest of your butter, brown your 4 burgers on one side in the skillet (2-4 minutes ish)

Put your burgers in the oven for about 15 minutes

Take those babies out, put them on toasted buns, and fix ‘em up the way you like!

Freedom Fries

3-4 Yukon Gold potatoes

2 tablespoons olive oil

salt / pepper / dried rosemary and thyme

Preheat your oven to 425F

Spread oil on a large baking pan

Wash your potatoes, peel them, and cut them into fry strips

Salt, pepper, rosemary and thyme your potatoes to taste

Put them in the baking pan, on the lower rack in your oven, for 40 minutes

Turn them over halfway through and cook until golden brown and delish

George Washington’s Favorite Individual Apple Pies

(this recipe is courtesy of Recipezaar)

Ingredients

1 (17 ounce) package puff pastry

12 ounces cut up red baking apples (approx. 2 medium sized apples)

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

2 teaspoons flour

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1 beaten egg

Directions

Thaw puff pastry according to directions on package

Peel, core and chop apples up coarsely

Combine apples with sugar, flour, lemon juice, cinnamon and nutmeg

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Flour surface lightly and cut pastry sheet into nine 3×3 squares.

Place approximately 1/4 cup apple mixture on each square and brush edge with beaten egg.

Place second pastry square on the top of the already filled pastry to form a pocket.

Press down border with fingers to seal and then press with fork to decorate the edges.

Make a 1-inch L shape incision into each pie and fold back the pastry flap.

Place on ungreased cookie sheet and give each one an egg wash.

Bake for approximately 20 minutes or until golden.

[This meal is best enjoyed while watching the shot put. Just kidding. Nothing is best enjoyed while watching shot put. Most boring summer Olympic sport EVER]