Last Thursday, I was craving a chicken caesar salad. I had half an hour before my lifeguarding shift started, and Sunset Groceries deli-fresh salad bar was calling my name.  I thought, “Hey, I’ll just run in, scoop up one of those pre-made containers with the Parmesan shavings already rationed out, and go to work.” At the time, it didn’t even register that I was rocking my navy blue one-piece, with GUARD embroidered across the chest. Waistband rolled Soffes? Why not, it’s not like I was going to see anyone worth impressing in the deli line. Thursday at 1:30 PM was prime time for soccer moms, not soccer players.

Weaving in and out of the deli displays, my salad search came up empty-handed. Lunchables, guacamole, pineapple chunks, but no grilled chicken-y goodness. I finished a few more unsuccessful laps before surrendering myself to the deli line. Maybe the salads were just so delicious that they hid them behind the counter, I reasoned, a treat for the persistent customers. Besides, I needed to get to work. There were lives to be guarded, flip flop tans to perfect.

“Number 96?”

I looked up. HOLY CRAP. I blinked. HOLY FREAKING HELLA CRAP. There, behind the deli counter, sporting a white apron and what appeared to be an ill-fitting hairnet, stood my Big Ex. The one I had not seen since our drawn-out, emotionally-draining, mentally-exhausting December break-up.  Read More »

Swimsuit shopping has been dreaded by women for a very long time, but it doesn’t have to be.  Sure, seeing all that cellulite harshly highlighted by the flourecent lights of a dressing room is U-G-L-Y, but there are so many cute suits this season that you may not even notice those ripples.

This summer there is no one-size (or style) fits all for bathing suits.  There truly is a bathing suit for everyone regardless of shape, size, style or skin tone.  No longer are you bounded by the basic two options: the one-piece or the bikini.  Stores are carrying the monokini, the bikini, the tankini — and many variations on each of these different basic cuts. With all the options out there, you are sure to find one (or one for everyday!) that fits your budget and looks H-O-T.

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It seems like just yesterday I was packing my gloves, hats, and facemask to come back to school and start 2nd semester. And now, all of a sudden, it’s spring break. Time is of the essence and even though most people only have a few days or a week to pull themselves together, here are my last-minute spring break tips.

Invest in Sunscreen- I know. I sound like your mom. That’s because I’m quoting my own mom. But seriously its been months since your skin has been exposed to the sun. The only thing more tragic than coming back with cornrows from the Caribbean is returning to school with a 3rd degree burn and 4 inch blister on your face (true story).

Begin Drinking Dangerous Amounts- (And this is part of the blog where I veer away from anything my mom has ever said.) In just a few days you will be drinking more alcohol than your liver could ever imagine and unless you want to die, it’s essential you start building up your tolerance ASAP. I know that a lot of people have midterms this week but that’s no excuse to be letting your guard down. There should be beers at every breakfast and shots with every snack. If there is any point during the day where you could legally drive, you are not preparing yourself responsibly for whats going to happen during break.

Start Sleeping- When you’re not drinking, you should be sleeping. Sleep so much that you will never want to sleep again. Because you won’t be sleeping. Not for an entire week. Chances are that if you’re not in the mood to get some, your roommate will be. There’s no hope for any 8-hour nights in any spring break destination. Read More »

My obsession with bathing suits started a very long time ago. I still remember begging my mom for something new and neon every time we went to Target. Pool parties were better than Christmas, and I used to don a bikini to help Mom and Daddy wash the dishes (true story.) And then I grew boobs. And butt. And self-consciousness. Suddenly, the joy of putting on a bathing suit and eagerly anticipating super soakers, sprinklers, sand castles and snorkeling fins turned into anxiety about love handles, saggy elastic, way too much rear exposure and the horrors of anything that jiggles.

Well that’s bulls**t.

Bathing suits are supposed to be fun, flirty and cute. We wear them when we’re supposed to be having fun, not stressing because we’re not as surgically enhanced as the girl next to us or investing in last minute sarongs. With Spring Break steadfastly approaching, it’s time to check out the best bathing suits out there and re-vamp our ideas about swimsuit shopping.

So grab a trusted and honest friend, remove the necessary body hair and spray tan yourself silly (it seriously helps in dressing room fluorescents) and let’s shop. Read More »

If you’re like me, no matter how much time you spend in the gym, there are some body parts you’d rather not flaunt. But with spring break coming up, there’s absolutely no reason for you to hit the beach or pools without feeling fabulous. Never to fear ladies; I’ve dug around for some hot ideas for you to look and feel your best, no matter what body type you have.

If you’re worried about: Read More »

After much thought, I’ve decided that my swimsuit of choice for 2007 is going to be a one-piece. I know, it’s a bold move. The bikini, in varying degrees of scandal, has been a staple for the college female since the advent of songs like “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” (for you trivial pursuit hounds, it came out August 8, 1960).

In a surprise move, the one-piece has become the rarer breed of swim apparel. The bikini gets all the attention. I mean, why shouldn’t it? It’s smaller, newer, and used to be a symbol of youthful rebellion. Not that I’m advocating some sort of return to traditional moral values (this is what my boyfriend thought when I told him I was writing about one-pieces). I just think the tank has a freshness about it. It invokes sultry women like Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, and timeless hottie, Sophia Loren. Read More »