Oy.

We ladies spend a lot of our time making ourselves beautiful. Between the haircuts, the tweezing, the manicures, the bronzers… it’s exhausting. And it could all be a waste of time, according to a poll over at Glamour Magazine. They asked some guys what they thought of our beauty tricks and the boys let it all out.

Turns out they’re not fans of super thin eyebrows, over-tanning, claw fingernails, and caked on makeup.  To most women, this seems fairly obvious, but since there were pictures accompanying this article (i.e. photo evidence that these beauty blunders actually happen), it might not be as obvious as I thought.

Being a lady who writes for ladies, I thought I’d do everyone a service and break down beauty’s seven deadliest sins and share why you might wanna put the breaks on that daily GTL.

OVER-TANNING is like nails on a chalkboard for my eyes, but yet, as I live and breathe, I see bronzer accidents all over the place.  Guys are not really that interested in your tan’s status, and for most, that’s a good thing.  I have friends who are gorgeous and fair but they still use the self-tanner, which inevitably either turns them orange or streaks something fierce, or (gasp) turn to tanning beds.  What could possibly be less attractive than a leathery oompa-loompa coming up to you in a bar?  I have never met a guy who turned down a girl because she was too pale.  I have, however, known guys who turn down these scary “bronzed” creatures.

CAKED ON MAKEUP.  If a guy can see where your makeup ends and your face begins, it not only looks bad, but it could make most men wonder what it is you’re hiding under that 3 inches of powder.

SUPER THIN EYEBROWS.  I don’t even know how looking like a surprised RuPaul can seem like a good idea to anyone.

CLAW FINGERNAILS.  People declaw cats for a reason – because they hurt. You think lady-nails are any different? I’m not surprised these things turn guys off; who wants to end a date rubbing Neosporin all over their bodies?

INSANE EYE MAKEUP.  The neon Cleopatra look may fly on Mardi Gras or the NYFW ruwnays, but on a regular Saturday, not so much.  A guy who looks at the Gaga-like sparkle-fest happening on your face will likely completely dismiss you as super high maintenance… or a drag queen.

REFLECTIVE LIPS.  People shouldn’t be able to check their makeup in yours.

BIG HAIR.  Guys like hair that looks like they can run their fingers through it, not hair that will swallow their hands whole. Just like most girls can’t stand a guy with Pauly D levels of gel and product in their hair, guys can’t deal with the whole extensions, hairspray, volumizer, pouf deal either.

If you want to wake up your skin without the use of streaky self tanners or harmful UV rays, bronzer is the best way to get a healthy sunshiny glow. But tread lightly (literally); overdoing it or choosing the wrong color can you take you from Twilight auditions to Willy Wonka really quick.

Here are some tips to make sure you look like the a glamorous, sun kissed movie star, and not a scary oompa-loompa.

Stay away from Coppers and Oranges

Why so many bronzers have copper and orange undertones is a mystery. It almost never looks natural. You’ve surely seen the girl with a mask of orange dust on her face. Don’t be that girl. Choose a bronzer with chocolate brown or beige undertones. Test the shade on the inside of your forearm. If it looks flat and orangey, stay away. Nars Bronzer in Laguna (or Casino for darker skin tones) has the perfect shade to give you some radiant color without looking orange or fake. Or like this.

Apply Like Sunshine

When applied poorly, bronzer can make your face look just plain dirty, and “sifting through the trash” is probably not the look you were going for. The important thing to remember is that bronzer should go where the sun would normally hit your face. Start with your cheek bones, then sweep above the brow bone and down the bridge of your nose. Dust a small amount along your jaw line to add dimension. Use what’s left on the brush to lightly sweep over the rest of your face, neck and chest to even out the color. Many bronzer brushes have tight dense bristles that can dispense too much product on your skin. Try a loose powder brush like Sephora Brand Professionnel Rounded Powder Brush #49 for a more natural look.

Your Body Needs Bronzing Too

Now that your face has a golden glow, treat your body to the same glamorous look. You don’t want to look like you are two different colors, but no one wants to painstakingly apply a powder to every inch of their arms and legs. The best products are bronzing body lotions. You can get golden while you moisturize! Try Duwop Revolotion. It’s bronzing and has a light shimmer with SPF 15. Perfect for looking bronze while getting a real tan!

Makeup is fun. With makeup I can make myself look like anything I want. I can glam myself up, or play out a more natural look. I can turn myself into a sex kitten, or an innocent girl next door.

But it has taken years and years of trial and error to know what looks good on my face and what makes me look like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. Looking back I’ve had some pretty disastrous makeup moments that I have comprised into my top 5 makeup regrets.

1. Sweat + black eyeliner = scary raccoon eyes. Now I love me some black eyeliner, especially when I’m putting on a cute little dress and going out to a club, but there are certain places where it’s probably not a good idea to pile on the black and, unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way.

One night my friends and I dressed ourselves up to go out dancing and I had put on a ton of dark eyeshadow and eyeliner. The dance floor was completely packed and after about half an hour we were all sweaty and gross. My friend and I went to the bathroom to cool down and when I looked in the mirror, I found that the makeup I had so meticulously applied was now all over my face! Seriously, it looked as if I had rubbed a huge piece of charcoal all around my eye and down my cheeks. My black eyeshadow had literally melted from me sweating and was now sitting in clumps on my eyelids. Needless to say I had to scrub it all off before anyone (besides all those people I saw pre-bathroom trip) saw my disaster of a face.

2. White eye shadow is for vampires, not people. When I was in middle school, the latest makeup trend was wearing white eyeshadow…and just white eyeshadow. For some reason my little awkward pre-teen mind thought that walking around looking like a corpse with all that white around my eyes was actually a good idea. And what made this look even worse is that I am naturally very pale, so I was basically applying white on white to create a sexy pastiness on my face. Luckily, I ditched this makeup trend when I entered high school, but I still can’t help but shudder when I see pictures of my middle school self looking like the freakin’ dead.

3. Always get the right bronzer for your skin tone or you will look like an Oompa-Loompa. We’ve all seen those girls; the ones whose faces look a bright orange color while their neck remains considerably paler. Or maybe their orange necks even match their orange faces, but you can tell the tan is fake because you can literally see all the bronzer particles on their face. As attractive as this sounds, I have been one of those girls.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a very pale gal who will try just about anything to get a little color on me. I’ve done the tanning beds, but I’m afraid of skin cancer. I’ve tried the gradual tanner lotions, but I don’t see that noticeable of results. Bronzer – with its instant tanning abilities – became my go-to product. And boy did I go to it. A lot.

4. Bright eyeliner with bright lips is a huge no-no.

I have always liked experimenting with different makeup looks. Some of these looks work (I look cute with brown eyeshadow on) and some don’t (I look bad with neon pink eyeliner and bright pink lip gloss). On the plus side, I have used the latter makeup look only once, which was definitely one time too many.

My roommate is the type of girl who can pull off crazy makeup. A few months back, she had just bought pink eyeliner from Sephora and had neatly lined the top lids of her eyes keeping the rest of her face fresh of makeup. I too tried this eyeliner and slathered on a coat of lip gloss before leaving with the rest of my friends. As it turns out, the pink eyeliner spread along my lids until it looked like thick neon eyeshadow blazing out from above my eyes and,what I thought had been clear lip gloss turned out to be an obnoxious colored pink. My friends would not stop making fun of me for the whole night and when we arrived at the restaurant I proceeded to rush to the bathroom to wipe off the eyeliner goo. Never again will I pair neon anything to bright lips (matching eyeshadow and lipstick is never a good idea either), unless I’m actually going for the clown look.

5. Blue glitter eyeshadow makes me look like a tranny. Blue glitter eyeshadow is pretty self explanatory on why it would be on my list of regrets. This makeup regret was something I did in my middle school and early high school years for god only knows what reason. My friends and I would pack on the blue eyeshadow and sprinkle our lids with glitter before heading out to the movie theater. As ridiculous as this sounds, we thought we looked hot. Now that I look back, I realized that we looked like a herd of trannies.

Do you ladies have any makeup regrets?