This week’s article warns men to get rid of emasculating trends in their relationship. I didn’t realize this was such a problem, but apparently men are being emasculated from coast to coast and someone at AskMen thinks it needs to stop.

And he means business.

The article puts men in their place right from the start: “When women emasculate us, it’s often because we let them do it. Our wives don’t want to think of us as anything less than men — they only think about us like that when we act like that. All those emasculating trends in our relationships, we’re complicit in them. If you no longer feel like the man of the house, it’s at least partly your fault.”

Of course, showing any signs of having an actual human soul will lead your girlfriend to see you as a girly child and treat you as such. If you’re not pounding your chest and tearing the flesh off a dead zebra, something is very, very wrong with you. And your lady hates it.

Let’s see what the “men” at AskMen advises the boys to do:

AskMen says: Stop asking for her opinion… It can get dangerously easy to defer to her when making a simple decision, like which restaurant to go to, either because you want her to be happy or because you honestly don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with asking for input periodically, but incessantly asking her what she wants to do tonight, or what she’s thinking about, will only irritate her.

I say: I would love a man to ask my opinion on something and actually care what the response is. It shows that you really care about someone when you consider their own wants and needs as well as your own. And, no, I don’t think a guy is super girly if he asks me what restaurant I’d prefer.

Askmen says: No good can come from baby talk. It’s one of the most common emasculating trends in a relationship. You may think it’s cute; she may think it’s cute, but we can guarantee she doesn’t think it’s sexy, and in a relationship sexy trumps cute 100% of the time.

I say: I baby-talk with my boyfriend and love it. We both recognize that it’s a bit ridiculous, but it’s fun to have a break from proper English now and then. And I may not find it sexy, but he does.

Askmen says: Stop whining… We understand she’s your significant other, and if you’re worried about losing your job or about your Dad’s health, she’s obviously your go-to person. Just try to keep minor annoyances to yourself.

I say: This is probably good advice for relationships and friendships. No one wants to be around someone who can only see negatives in life. But don’t be afraid to talk to your girlfriend if something is really bothering you, even if it is just a little thing like an mean comment from a coworker or a headache. It will probably make her feel good to know you want to go to her with that stuff. This is a relationship, after all – aren’t we supposed to put our guards down and be who we are?!

Askmen says: One way to remind her you’re a man, is to remind her she’s a woman. So get traditional. Take her out to dinner and choose the restaurant yourself. Buy her flowers and open the car door for her. Pay for the meal. Going a little old school is a great way to reverse emasculating trends. It will remind her that you’re a gentleman — emphasis on the man part. You’re a guy who can take care of her and make her feel like a lady.

I say: Ah, gender roles at their finest. Any women would appreciate a nice meal or flowers now and then, but remember that we don’t need men to take care of us and make us ladies.

All in all, this article is basically a bunch of gender stereotypes compiled into a neat little list. It’s about time men stop worrying so much about being “men” and start focusing on being humans. Because the most emasculating thing of all? Turning to a website to teach you how to be a “real man.”

Take that, AskMen.com!

Do you ever wonder what he really thinks about the stuff you wear? Like after you spend hours in front of your mirror trying to find the perfect outfit to impress him, do you wonder if he cares? I’ve found that a lot of the stuff I adore, attempt, or appraise as high fashion – most men just don’t notice.

Though my BF, bless his soul, tries dearly to understand why I’d want to bust my paycheck on the shoe equivalent of a medieval torture chamber, he, in all his Nike wearing glory, just doesn’t get it. [He humors me, but I'm pretty sure he can't tell a Louboutin from a Payless.] And really, when it comes down to it, don’t we put up with all that “Pain is Beauty” crap to attract guys? Are 5 inch stilettos necessary? Does he even notice?

So for every girl who’s ever wondered, I’ve comprised a panel of real guys willing to share their opinions:

The Guys:
The Boyfriend, Rutgers University - The average fashion-challenged college guy. Though he humors me with his attempts to understand the outfits I throw on, he can be extremely blunt.

Fashion Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston - Super metro. He works with models and clothes all the time so he’ll be more forgiving of some fashions, but he’s especially harsh when it comes to the styles he dislikes.

Premed, NYU - He’s funny and insightful, but he’s ultimately still a guy when it comes to women’s clothing.

Little brother, 12 - Okay so he’s not technically a college guy, but he has his fair share of opinions on what makes sense and what doesn’t. Plus, we all know how honest (read: mean!) kids can be.

The Look:
Everybody loves LuLu’s. College Candy loves LuLu’s. And now that they’re offering College Candy readers 15% off every purchase, we can’t help but love them more. It seems like nothing can dimish our love. Except, well…… this:

After finding this on LuLu’s usually fashion-forward website, I had to see what my guys thought.

The Boyfriend, Rutgers University - Are you kidding me? What’s that supposed to be? Where’s the crotch? That looks like a diaper, and it doesn’t help that it’s brown.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston - She looks like she’s hiding balls. Maybe she’s a he.

Premed, NYU - This is going to sound mean but… ever seen the back of a horse? Like, it’s rear end? LOL!

Little Brother, 12 - Those look like lederhosen, you know, the things with the straps that Scottish people wear.

** Correction: Lederhosen are worn by “Germanic men” and they look something like this:

Yeah, I guess I can see where he’s coming from.

While the Knickers seem pretty comfy (hey, no risk of a yeast infection), I don’t think I could ever do the whole MC Hammer thing. But if you have $53 to blow, you can purchase your own pair at LuLus.com. Don’t forget to use your discount!

What do you think of these Nifty Knickers? Would you wear them? Comment below, and while you’re at it – how do you like our new installment? Any honest guys out there willing to be a part of our panel?

A: Well, honestly, I do think you’re overreacting–but it comes down to personal preference and opinion, so if his sexuality is something you can’t deal with, then you’re not right for each other.

Before you start drafting your “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, hear me out. Let’s say he’s 100% straight as an arrow–you do realize that he would notice other women besides you, right? And as much as you may hate it, he would probably form some opinion on how hot your friends are, too (though if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll keep it to himself). So what’s the difference between him noticing other women or other men? He’s still choosing to be with you.

Is it possible that you’re a little worried about friends’ reactions? Since you’ve been with him for a couple of months I’m assuming it wasn’t a dealbreaker–you did continue to date him after all. I actually dated a bisexual guy a few years ago, and the experience was not much different than dating a straight guy–for me, hearing that he was bi was like hearing that he loves dogs or hates seafood. Some of my friends were a little bit shocked when they found out, so his sexuality was only an issue when I started feeling defensive about it.

Another possibility is that you might just be a jealous person. Have you had the same fears about your straight boyfriend checking out your friends or other women? Are you worried about your current boyfriend checking out women and your female friends, or only the guys? If this is a recurring theme in your relationships, it’s not something that will go away unless you confront it, regardless of the sexual preferences of your future partners.

Of course, you might be just genuinely icked out about it–but that’s something you have to figure out for yourself. Would I dump a guy over his sexual preferences? No–but you have the right to feel however you feel about it. Likewise, he has the right to be with a partner who accepts this part of him, and if that’s not you, then it’s only right to cut him loose. I may not agree with you, and I may feel like you’re overreacting, but that’s based on my opinion and my experiences. I wouldn’t sleep with a Republican, and I’m sure there are plenty of people that would tell me that I’m overreacting and being judgmental, but I have the right to feel that way.

Would I be disappointed if a guy broke up with me over my sexual past? Sure–until I realized that if he’s grossed out or bothered by my feelings and experiences with sex, then he’s probably not at all right for me. Figure out how you feel about it and then act accordingly, but do it soon; don’t drag the relationship out and lead him on if your gut is telling you to leave. You both deserve better than that.

Got a question for Pillow Talk? Email pillow.talk.cc@gmail.com and we’ll tackle it next time!

[Image Via Mediabistro]

You don’t truly realize the invisible lines that are drawn in society until college. You don’t have your own beliefs questioned so much as you do in college. You don’t have to push your own mental and physical limits so much as you do in college. And you (hopefully) never have to live in such close proximity with others your whole life, outside of college.

You will, invariably, encounter some things that are strange to you and you’re just gonna have to learn to deal…but here are some tips.

Open Sexuality

Maybe you’re not that sexual. Or maybe you’re just moderately sexual. Nonetheless, you’d better be OK with seeing naked bodies and hearing people do the humpty dance on the bunk above you, because sex is more than just a past time at college. From girls shaving their coochies in the ladies room to walking in on sex in the stairwell, my first year of college certainly reminded me that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore…and it’ll probably do the same for you.

Absurd Drinking Games

College, especially the first two years, is prison for your liver. Even if you enter college straight edge, like I did, you just may come out a little crooked (like I did). No, you don’t have to be down for every ridiculous and far-fetched drinking game that your new friends invite you to partake in, but at least be prepared to say NO or YES when your roomie dares you to finish a bottle of wine in the shower. (I said yes once and only once to that challenge.)

Fire Alarms From Hell

Fire alarms used to wake me up at every hour of the night. They were so invasive and annoying that my ex-boyfriend once hid in a closet instead of going outside for the drill at 4am. The downside to that? At the school where I went, I would have been fined $100 if he had been found. Fire alarms are simply part of the dorming experience. Make the best of them and take your pillow, or homework, with you.

Drugs

To put it plain and simple…college may very well be your first time encountering some drugs. I knew people in high school who did coke, but in college, it was simply everywhere. I’d walk into someone’s room to borrow notes for a class and they’d be doing a line on their desk. Of course the drugs aren’t always as common and they certainly aren’t limited to coke. You should, however, be prepared to be around drugs that you have never been around before. And if you want to make some quick enemies on campus, tell the R.A.!

Absense of Absolute Truth

No matter what you think, you’re going to meet people at school who think differently. You might think they’re going to hell, they might think you’re going to hell. You might believe in free love, they might believe in abstinence. WHATEVER. College is the breeding ground for free minds because it forces you into a situation where you have to be civil with people who believe things very different from you. So be open minded or…drop out.

College is a wonderful experience, but it can definitely be overwhelming at first…especially the 180 turn your surroundings are about to make. Be nice to everyone, always be honest, and have a good time.

(Photo from: collegepublisher.com)

If you’re one of those girls who isn’t phased by the idea of your significant other’s face in the crotch of another chick, a naked one at that, more frigin’ power to you. However, those of you that are, like me – a woman who, regardless of my confidence prefers if my boyfriend’s face stays out of a strippers cooch – let’s discuss.

I get that guys “need” to go to the bachelor party because they want to share in their buddy’s last night of being a single guy. I understand the need to watch him squirm while the guys embarrass him by having some stripper sweat all over him; however, any man of mine, will not be partaking in such close contact festivities.

I am not – in any way – trying to directly bash strippers; you take your clothes off, look good doing it and make lots of loot. More power to you. I just won’t accept someone I touch, getting touched by a chick who gets paid to give men – all shapes and sizes – attention. So, when my boyfriend informed me that he was going to a strip club (to forwarn me and gauge my reaction) I simply tried my best to bite my tongue.

Unfortunately, being the loud, opinionated person that I am, biting my tongue was more difficult than I could handle. I told him that, while I would never tell him not to go and share in the drunken, boob-filled bliss, if one stripper climbs on his lap – or his face – he was not to come back home to me. I’m not talking about just that night either, I meant, he is not to come home to me. Ever.

Why, you ask? Because I’m hot, in love with the boy and don’t take my clothes off for anyone else. What we do is between us and us only. Not between us and the random women getting paid to rub their bodies all over him.

I will not touch him after someone else puts her openly visible hoo-ha in his face. Period.

He went to the bachelor party. He watched his buddy get whipped by a naked chick. He looked at lots of boobs and asses, I’m sure. But he had no one on his lap and, thankfully, respected my wishes and my feelings. And, while some girls would think it completely fine to have your man’s hands rummaging all over someone else, I’m not one of them. Keep all that saved up for me please.

How do you feel about strippers? I would love to hear some different opinions on the situation, ladies.

Him: A good friend (we’ll call him Fred) I’ve had a thing for, for years. He just got back from studying abroad and the ocean air and warm weather treated him very well.

I kind of thought our first encounter in the bedroom was a one-time occurrence. A tipsy romp between the sheets that was very memorable, but a sexual outlier…that is until it happened again the next night.

And again two nights later.

To the untrained eye, nothing is different. No awkward conversations, no weirdness whatsoever and the sex is nothing short of mind blowing. So where’s the problem?

He is my best friend’s ex-boyfriend.

Hear me out. They dated for two years, mostly long distance, during college. The three of us would hang out together whenever he came to town. Their relationship was good but they weren’t exactly Jack and Rose. They didn’t have many common interests and they only got to see one another once or twice a month. The relationship finally ended last summer when they decided it just wasn’t working anymore. Because the break-up was relatively mutual, I got to stay friends with Fred and we got together frequently.

Fred and Ruby (yes, we’re calling my best friend Ruby) both found new significant others within a few weeks time.

He got back to America after studying abroad and looked smoking hot. We drank, we flirted, yada, yada, yada; I walked him to the door the next morning.

Later that day, I talked to Ruby about it (crazy maybe, but I didn’t want to lie about it) and she sounded a bit…shocked. Not mad, not overjoyed, just…dazed. She thanked me for being honest and telling her first. We exchanged a few pleasantries and hung up. I haven’t talked to her since, but I think she’s coming around.

I told a few other friends this story and they thought otherwise. Half thought I broke the first rule of best-friends: “Hands (and every other body part) away from the Ex.” The rest gave me the go-ahead, “They broke up. She moved on. No harm, no foul.”

But what do you think, CC faithful? She is my best friend and – broken up or not – many would argue that her exes are forever off limits. But is that fair? Shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on this kind of thing? Do I have to avert my gaze forever, or is there truly no wiggle room in the girl code?

[Photo: TraciNoel.Blogspot.Com]

Maybe it started with Paris Hilton or the talking chihuahua in Taco Bell commercials, but the dog trend never really sunk in on a personal level until I visited my former college roommate…and her new puppy.

It scared the hell out of me. Not the dog himself, he’s a teeny dust-mop-esque guy that legitimately bites your ankles, clothing, and anything else he can get to. What frightened me was the idea of what people are getting themselves into (please see single, childless friends referring to themselves as parents) and the fact that I really am that big a commitment-phobe.

Sure, many of us grew up with pets, but there was no actual “raising” going down on our end. It wasn’t our job to shop for pet carriers or plan out potty schedules, that’s what our parents were for. Now that we’re on our own (ish), so many people who want an animal are just looking to use it as an accessory. Puppies are like a new pair of Chanel shades, right? Only they love you back?

Right. Let’s just touch on one painfully obvious truth: A puppy is not a self-sufficient being. You can’t train one in two weeks. It’s not a great idea to let them hang out in your living room with your drunk friends who want to see what the puppy’s preferred brand of vodka is. It’s a huge life change. It’s like a small kid who can’t speak any language used by humans, and only responds to an angry “NO!” or a saccharin “Good boy! Who’s a good boy?”

This week, Hef’s Girls Next Door showed us exactly how intense the pet obsession has become. Kendra hires a pet psychic to figure out why her dog stares at lights, and Bridget, best known for being “the smart one” of the three blondes, gets her dog a talent agent, as well as a photo shoot.

What a great message to send to viewers everywhere. Pets are dolls for grown-ups! You can play house and dress them up and carry them around in designer bags and pretend they speak…. no really, as in giving them airtime on your radio show. They’re like the best toy ever!

Except they’re alive. And need to eat, sleep, and be taken outside to do their business. And maybe take effort to train? But, like, who cares? Call down to Hef’s second kitchen and ask one of the butlers to get on that so puppy can make our owner-animal nail appointment!

Shudder. And to think I respected that master’s degree Bridget was going for.