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[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

I’m not sure what crazy ass women were questioned for this, but a recent survey found that women prefer video games to sex.

Yeah, let that marinate for a second.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There was a 6-month period in there where I did nothing but play Guitar Hero. All the time. Every day. One time in a towel immediately upon stepping out of the shower. (Seriously.) I was addicted and loved the pleasure I felt when I finally mastered Heart’s Barracuda on medium.

But it didn’t make my toes curl. Or my neck tingle. Or my eyes to roll back in my head. Or…give me an orgasm.

I mean, really? How can a stupid video game even compare? (Or, better question, what kind of losers were the women surveyed sleeping with?!) Read More »

Cue two naked couples, both in sexual scenarios.

Couple 1 attacks each other like wild animals, both racing to the big O.

Couple 2 takes their time, pleasing each other in various kama sutra-like positions, aiming to prolong the act of sex by channeling sexual energy and increasing intimacy, letting go of all reservations and connecting to their sexual experience spiritually before engaging in the physical.

So, which couple are you? If you’re an ordinary lover like myself, then you can probably identify with couple 1. If couple 2′s experience sounds more appealing, then the increasingly popular “tantric sex” might be of some interest to you.

Read More »

“I don’t know if we should talk about this…”

“And why not? Everybody has sex!”

“Yeah, but everybody should be making love.”

“Come on, how many guys do you know making love?”

–Salt N Pepa, “Let’s Talk About Sex”

In the past six months, I’ve had sex. I’ve been laid. I f*cked. However, it’s been a long time since I’ve made love, and I kind of miss it. Some people might argue that there’s no difference – physically, they are the same. But emotionally, passionately, and mentally, the two deeds are very different.

1. The First Time.

The first time you make love with your partner, it’s usually a very special moment. It’s often planned out in advance, especially in new relationships. There’s often sensual foreplay, and your bodies fit together perfectly.

If it’s your first time with a new partner and you’re just having sex, it may be spontaneous. Your partner may not be your boyfriend, or even your crush, and the decision to go all the way is frequently a hormonal (thanks, booze!) impulse. First time sex can be sloppy and awkward as you try to find the right position, and after everything’s said and done, it feels like there was something missing. Read More »

In a utopian world, we’d never have to ask for anything, ever. The cosmos would see to it that all our needs were met without us having to put in any effort into it. Alas, in the real world, it doesn’t work that way. If you want something, be it a raise at work or an extension on an assignment, you have to assert yourself. But that becomes especially harrowing when sex is involved.

There are those rare circumstances where you and your partner connect on every level and every romp in the sack is transcendent and magical and effortless. But for most of us, we usually end up with a partner who intuitively understands only some of our needs. The only way to get the most mindblowing sex you can imagine? Talk that ish out.

I know, sometimes talking about sex with the person you’re having it with is downright terrifying. You don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings, or maybe you tell yourself you’re okay with having sex that’s only 70 percent awesome. Eventually, however, you could start to get resentful of the fact that you only orgasm 30 percent of the time (when you know that you’re capable of orgasming 98 percent of the time), or you’re going to develop a complex about your boobs (because, OMG, WHY WON’T MY BOO TOUCH/LICK/SUCK them? ARE THEY NOT GOOD ENOUGH?). Or you’ve suddenly realized you really want to try spanking, but you assume your partner isn’t into it because they’ve never brought it up.

But really? All of those problems, and a lot of other sexually related ones, can be solved by just talking about it in a mature, respectful way. Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month, roughly.  He takes me out on actual dates, always wants to hang out, and is fun to talk to. Basically, I’m pretty sure that he’s into me.  The problem is that the few times that we’ve had sex, he hasn’t finished.  We’ll go at it for over an hour and although I’ve enjoyed myself, he won’t orgasm at all!  He always initiates sex and says he enjoys spending time with me, but if he’s sexually attracted to me, then why can’t he finish?  Could it be that I’m really bad in bed?  That he isn’t sexually attracted to me?  It’s an awkward subject to bring up and I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I don’t know how to handle it.

Sincerely,
-Can’t Get Him Off

Hi Dude,

I’m just going to get to the meat of it. My boyfriend and I were having sex, and I like to be a little vocal when I get there, you know, let him know I appreciate his handy work. Well, this time I got to that place like I have never been there before, and I guess I was more vocal than usual. He stops everything that he is doing, grabs his clothes and leaves. I didn’t even know what to say, I was in shock I guess, so I just laid there, wondering what just happened.

He calls within five minutes of leaving my apartment and tells me how “offended he was by me faking my climax, that he was ten times more offended than if I didn’t even climax at all.”

I tried to tell him that I wasn’t faking, that whatever he did that night was great and not to stop doing that for future reference, but he was convinced.

What can I do to get it through to him? I am like a fish out of water in this situation, so I have no clue how I should react.

Utterly baffled,
Ashlee

Read More »

I have spent 8 years (not continuously) with my mouth between a dude’s legs, and while I finally know that I’m good at it (one fine young man – whose name I do not know – exclaimed, “Wow! That was good!”), I still don’t love all the work is involved. It kills my jaw, my neck, and I’d rather let the guy handle things on his own than risk lock jaw on a sweaty appendage.

And do I get paid back? Not often. Lots of guys I know and have “interacted” with really aren’t into making the trip downtown on a lady. “It’s so hard!” they say. “You don’t know what we’re dealing with down there!”

Um, excuse me? They think they have it hard (pun totes not intended)?

I decided to take this issue on myself with my favorite IMing male to see if we could work through our problems and come to some sort of truce for men and women everywhere. Will this entice more men to venture South? We can only hope. Read More »

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