Allow me to introduce you to Panty O’s, the panties that strengthen your pelvic floor muscles because “tighter is better.” (Yes, that is a direct quote from their low-budge website.)

How does this work, you ask? Well, see that little one-inch mini dildo looking thing up there on the right? Yeah, that’s sewn into the panties and then goes into your….you know…. when you’re wearing them, giving you a “focus point for you while performing your kegel exercises…”And tighter kegels “make you more orgasmic!”

And what does “more orgasmic” cost you? Only $125, of course.

That’s a lot of money to spend on what I can only imagine is way, way worse than a wedgie.

Like most people out there, I love and thoroughly enjoy a good orgasm. Honestly, who doesn’t?

Apparently, a lot of people. Cuz they’re not having ‘em.

I’ve had countless friends tell me that despite all the sex they’re having, they’ve yet to show their O face. And statistics show that around 43% of women have not experienced the pleasure of the big O.

How can this be?! There is an orgasm epidemic out there and I feel like I must do my part to put an end to this madness! I know I’m no doctor with a fancy PH.D, but I am a twenty-something woman who has (thankfully) gotten off enough to say a thing or two about the female orgasm. So here are a few steps that will lead you to pleasuretown (population: you!). Read More »

Childbirth is excruciatingly painful. Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. But ABC’s 20/20 is going to broadcast a segment on a new documentary called “Orgasmic Birth,” about women who said that giving birth was one of the most ecstatic (and orgasmic) moments of their lives.

In the segment, to be broadcast on Friday, January 2nd at 10 pm, Tamra Larter says that she spent part of her labor for her second child making out with her husband! “The physical touch and the nurturing was just really comforting to me,” she said, “[The birth] was happening, and I could hardly breathe, and it was like, ‘oh, that feels good.’”

Um. Ew?

Dr. Christiane Northrup, OB-GYN, was interviewed by 20/20 and reported that it is possible to experience orgasmic childbirth, according to “basic science.” She says, “When the baby’s coming down the birth canal, remember, it’s going through the exact same positions as something going in, the penis going into the vagina, to cause an orgasm.”

With all due respect to Dr. Northrup, I’m not buying it. And I think it’s great that Ms. Larter was able to get it on during labor (Sidenote: what’s her kid gonna think when he reads that ten years from now?), but either she has a really, really high threshold for pain, a really big va-jay-jay, or they must have slipped her the epidural without telling her. Also, if your baby gives you an orgasm, isn’t that moderately incestual? Just sayin’.

I have no children at the moment, and I have never given birth, so I guess you could say, “don’t knock it till you try it.” But I believe childbirth may be the one thing that you really don’t have to try to knock.  So, here are just a few reasons why I’m not expecting childbirth to be orgasmic:

1. An eight-pound baby is way bigger than a penis.

It’s true that the kid will be coming out the same way his daddy’s manhood went in, but even if that dad were Ron Jeremy (ew, btw), the biggest penis in the world couldn’t possibly compare to the size and weight of a healthy newborn. Read More »

There are a lot of ailments I would consider to be terribly tragic. Today, I have added anorgasmia to the list.The inability to have an orgasm sounds like one of the worst things ever.

Orgasms are tension and stress relievers, sleep and pain aides and appetite suppressants. Basically, they are the human body’s way of saying everything sucks and this is what I’m going to give you to fix it… pure ecstasy.

Uh, thanks Mother Nature!

Just like all other ailments, there are many types of anorgasmia:

• Primary: Never having achieved an orgasm

• Secondary: Had one before, now the magic is gone

• Absolute: Tried every trick in the book and nothing works

Like the good ole days where doctors would bring a woman to orgasm to treat hysteria, doctors are now prescribing the vibrator as treatment for anorgasmia. I’d like to see that on my doctor’s prescription pad.

Not that I want to be an-orgasmic, but hell, trying to get my shoddy insurance to cover my latest sex toy could be a fun time. Read More »