It has been about 2.5 months since I rendezvoused with a man in bed (or anywhere, for that matter).

At first I was okay with it; I kept busy with work and friends. Then, I was a little less than okay with it; I kept busy with cake and cigarettes. Then, I became beyond unhappy with the never ending sexual drought.

It got so bad that during a family dinner – where everyone in attendance was paired off besides me – my dad went around the table taking pictures of all the couples and said, “Lauren, hold up your right hand” when he got to me.

Seriously, people. I can’t make this shit up.

So, I did what any self respecting and sexual young woman would do; I turned to my good friend, The Pocket Rocket, to keep myself busy. And now I am blissfully happy.

And is there anything wrong with that? Read More »

• I’m going to live forever. Turns out one or two orgasms a week can increase your life span.

• VIDEO – Get the Lindsay Lohan Tan. The E channel’s frighteningly fantastic new series “Sunset Tan” shows that you are never to young to have orange skin.

• You want to stick a needle in my where? The G-shot promises he’ll never miss your G-spot again.

• Celebrities in the Clink. Yes Paris is in jail, but what about those other celebs that have posed so graciously for Johnny Law?

• Tourfilter.com – A website that notifies me when all my favorite bands are coming to town??? The hell you say.

• Increase your odds on the Booty Call. Introducing Booty Grazing.

• VIDEO – “I’m the little lad that loves Berries and Cream.” – Learn the dance.

• Toe Cleavage. Hot or not?

• Jones-ing for Spoon? The indie gods are releasing a new song

a day in anticipation of their forthcoming release GaGaGaGaGa. Check it out.

• Film Fashion. Red carpet looks from the 2007 MTV Movie Awards.

I’m never going to profess to having a complete (or even partial) understanding of the female anatomy.But I know that there will be times when an orgasm’s just not going to happen for a girl.

Sometimes we aren’t pushing your buttons right; other times, it wouldn’t matter what buttons we push or knobs we turn (metaphors girls… I sincerely hope that guys you’re with aren’t literally pushing buttons or turning knobs), it’s simply gonna be a lost cause.

And yet, apparently, girls still take the time to fake orgasms. Get out! And here this whole time I thought I was a sex Adonis, never failing to bring my girl to an earth-shattering orgasm. Who knew that at least some of those girls were giving Katie Holmes-esque performances! Read More »

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I am every man’s dream woman; it only takes two beers to get me drunk and, unlike most women, it doesn’t take much to get me going. A guy needs only to look in my direction if he wants to rile me up and finish me off. It’s amazing that I was single for so long. The problem with such perks comes with the reputation that spreads. I was once known as “Quickie McClimax” or “Anyone-Can-Get-Her-Off Girl” amongst some of my peers and one-night bedmates. Now, I don’t really care what people think of me or say about me, but it becomes a problem when a reputation like this precedes me.

What happens when a guy can’t get me off? Well, I’ll tell you.

I am forced to fake it.

And I am sure you all have been there too. We all know men hate it when a woman resorts to faking it, but there is a lot that goes into that decision that they just don’t understand. If you ever find yourself tongue tied when trying to explain your reasoning for faking it, print out this bad boy and hand it to your man.

1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate: My friend thinks this is the worst excuse ever. He claims that he would rather a girl tell him what to do than fake it. Read More »

Take the writer from “When Harry Met Sally,” and team him up a German film student who loves cycling. The algebraic lovechild of that union is this video. Enjoy!