This is for all you incoming freshman and those who’ve gone through the 4 year war/odyssey/party/blur that was their college experience. It’s a time for trying new experiences and, of course, meeting new people. Now, every school’s different, with varying numbers of students on campus, geographic locations and demographic make-ups. BUT, I’m a firm believer that there are types that we all have to put up/study/rub elbows/sleep/deal with. Here’s a list of 14 types of guys that you’ll quite possibly meet in class/pledging/around the dorms/out at the local dives.

initiating the gallery...

Sorry for the slight digression there at the end, ladies. So, excited? Seriously, they’re not going to all be bad. In fact, there are a ton of cool guys and every bad penny is only one cent out of the millions of dollars that goes into funding the institution of higher learning. I’ve had my fun here poking at the generalities but really, these are the kinds of guys who’ll be providing you with material to reminisce about for the rest of your lives. And that you just can’t put a price on. You can laugh about it, though.

Your Orientation Leader,

The Dude

Gossip and leaks from the Glee set!

This girl puts the “crazy” in “crazy super stalking Bieber fan.”

And the cutest couple at the Emmy’s was…..

The secrets to scoring tix to Fashion Week.

How to turn down a second date (without being rude).

The freshman advice you didn’t get at orientation.

Of course I would spend every high school moment from that morning bell—which seemed to ring earlier and earlier as my senior year wore on—to the final bell with my friends by my side. I was part of a bunch of different groups, all of which met after or before school and surrounded me with people. But at home, I had solitude.

With both my parents working and my brother off at college, I spent many nights doing homework, watching bad television and heating up leftovers all by myself. Some may think that would be lonely, but I really liked the peace and quiet.

It’s never quiet here. And sometimes I like it; with all the commotion, I haven’t had time to get homesick or have a culture shock freak out. There’s a feeling of community when I walk around campus and see someone I know or when I strike up a conversation with a stranger in the dining hall. Yet every once in awhile I realize… I never have a moment to myself.

I don’t sing anymore. No, I wasn’t a good singer, but I used to belt out lyrics while driving to school or doing some late-night studying with the radio on, my iPod providing a soundtrack for every occasion. Now, even when I’m sitting alone in my dorm room, I know anyone can walk by and hear me. When I’m walking alone around campus I know there is probably a person around the corner. And when I study in the library, I have to stop every three minutes to talk to a person who saw me and wanted to say hello.

In some ways I love that there are people always wanting to say hello. I’ve never been so friendly to so many people before, and I think some of them will actually become life-long friends, not just Orientation-buddies. But I also love the sound of silence, and there is precious little of that in college. Someone is always chatting loudly on her phone or blasting bad rap music from her car or playing the piano in the common room. Endless chatter, the bass of a car stereo and the notes of a musical instrument: this is my new soundtrack.

And soon I will learn to sing along with it, but for now I will start with just a tap of a foot, and maybe a hello in the library.

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During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people – but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends?

The problem for me is that I do not know how to put myself out there — really let people know how I act around my old friends — without being ridiculous. I don’t think I am stifling my whole personality, but I am definitely holding back my love of cheesy Disney movies and my obsessive grammar corrections.

And so I now question as to whether my new friends are doing the same.

Are they truly this nice and smart and driven and friendly all the time? Because although they’re easygoing, they seem too normal and perfect to get along with a quirky kid like me. I almost wish there were a day where everyone could just let it out there, where I could burst into singing High School Musical 2 when someone asks, “What time is it?” Back home, that was my type of normal. As were sarcastic jokes, skipping down hallways and dancing without a care of how crazy I looked.

I know I will become more comfortable in time, but for now I feel as if I am showing the simple side of Kristine to my dozens of generically nice buddies. I am looking for a little more than that. For now, I am trying to act as normal as possible. Maybe soon I will find that my type of normal fits in just fine here.

You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator.

2. Beware of PDA.

True story: I was once stumbling across campus with a guy I liked, and was pretty much all over him. I was stopped by a Public Safety brigade, who proceeded to quiz me: Did I know this guy? Where were we going? While I insisted that he was a friend, one of the officers interrupted with “You’re obviously intoxicated and we want to make sure you’re not going to make a bad decision tonight.” Ouch. (Editor’s Note: Where were those guys when I was making out with the guy with the tats?)

Luckily, they let us continue on our way, but the situation could have easily ended badly. This anecdote should be a lesson to guys, too. I’m sure my friend was mortified when the Public Safety peeps pegged him as a date rapist. But, just like the crazy, drunken antics mentioned above will red flag a drunk college student, a pair of horny kids who can’t make it back to the dorm room will also raise the suspicions of the University 5-0.

3. Be careful with your Fake.

If you have someone who is of age that can make a beer run for you, don’t even try to buy your own booze. At my school, all of the campus liquor stores had walls covered with confiscated fake ID’s. It’s a lot easier to get served at a bar or restaurant than it is to purchase booze from the store. FYI.

Still, you need to research the bars you attempt to get in to. Everyone at my school knew which bars would let in the worst fakes, which states made for the worst fakes, etc. I once had a fake ripped up by the manager of a new campus bar, because they were on the lookout for New York ID’s after being watched closely by the Po.

One more little tale: I knew a girl who got fined because she left her wallet at a gas station, and somehow, the cops found her fake ID in it. If a cop sees you with a fake for any reason, it can constitute fraud. Just food for thought.

4. Keep it inconspicous.

If you are walking to a party, don’t crack open a Natty Ice on the street. Don’t fill a Coca-Cola bottle with vodka. And don’t help a friend carry a case of beer if you are a minor. In many states, you can’t even handle alcohol if you are a minor. So if the cops are scouting out the liquor store, and card you and your of-age friend as you drag a shopping cart full of Patron to your car, you might get in trouble, even if you’re stone-cold sober and the bottles are unopened.

Even if you are trying to hide the libations you are hauling to the party, be careful. Ironically, backpacks scream “hidden alcohol,” especially when you are en route to a quad party on a warm Saturday evening. The cops may ask you open your bag, and having 30 beers fall out might put a damper on your weekend.

5. Stay current on campus news.

If there are four bars on campus, and three of them have been raided in the past month, you might want to lay low in order to avoid a sting operation on the fourth bar. Try to catch wind of any rumors that Tequila Tom’s might get raided.

Of course, if you are friendly with the bar staff, they might look out for you as well, because they want to save their own ass as much as you want to save yours. I’ve been flat out told by bouncers that they couldn’t let me in because they anticipated a raid; a year later, those same bouncers planned an “escape route” through the kitchen for the only girl in our group who had yet to hit the big 2-1.

6. Don’t advertise.

This goes along with watching your behavior and being mindful of your fake ID, but it’s the number one reason a minor will get busted. If you’re drinking in your room, don’t leave bottles and cans strewn about for your RA to see. Don’t display your shot glasses and your funnel. Many schools today even have rules that no alcohol-related decorations (posters, etc) may be displayed in “dry” dorms.

Just being alert to the fact that many people on campus are looking out for underage drinking can help you make smart decisions. It’s really not difficult to evade the disciplinarians at your school, and before you know it, you’ll be passing down your fake ID to your younger siblings and telling them to use it wisely. Take your time to get to know your campus and it’s policies. You have four years of partying awaiting you, so there’s plenty of time to tune up your beer pong skills.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable.

3. Just because you can drink an entire keg doesn’t mean you should. I have too many friends who ended up in a hospital after a night of binge drinking to take alcohol poisoning lightly. If you drink a lot and start throwing up, your body is rejecting what is in it. There’s no other way around it. If this happens to you, you need to start downing water like you wouldn’t believe. All that liquid you’re throwing up is dehydrating you and you need to re-hydrate your body, so drink lots of good H2O, and eat some bread to help absorb some of the alcohol.

If you continue to throw up and it feels like you’re expunging your stomach lining, you need to go to the hospital. Don’t worry about getting into trouble. A scolding from your RA isn’t nearly as bad as, let’s say, DYING. For next time, it’s okay to get drunk; it’s okay to drink a lot, but slooooowwww down. You’ve got to find that perfect place where you’re drunk but you’re not dead. It takes practice but it’s worth drinking only one or two an hour to get there.

4. Friends don’t let friends get date raped. This is an even more horrible experience I’ve seen friends go through. The statistics around this are astounding. Something like one in ten women will be date raped, mostly while in college. But this doesn’t mean you’ve got to become a recluse in order to stay safe. First, buddy up. Don’t go to a party alone and always go with a friend who will make sure you stay safe. She should never be out of your sight for more than a few moments. Preferably, one of you will be sober sister, or at least semi-sober sister. Second, never, NEVER go upstairs, outside, in a car, or home with a guy you don’t intend on sleeping with. And even if you do intend on sleeping with him, tell your friend where you’re going and with who. If you don’t know his name, he shouldn’t be in your bed.

5. Just because it’s consensual doesn’t mean it’s safe. Use a condom. Every time. Without fail. Don’t let him convince you not to use a condom. If he says they’re too tight, buy Magnums (it’s a compliment!), if he says sex just doesn’t feel good with one tell him no sex doesn’t feel good either. The only time you should have sex without a condom is when you’re in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone you trust, when you’ve both been tested, and when you’re on birth control. Find your local Planned Parenthood. They can give you STD screenings and birth control, often for free.

6. Stay safe on campus and off. Many colleges have nighttime car services free of charge to students. Find out about yours as soon as you get to school. They will often pick you up within a certain range of campus and escort you home. It’s like a free taxi ride, so utilize it. Also, having the phone numbers for a few regular taxi companies in your cell will definitely come in handy when it’s three AM and all you want is your bed and a huge glass of water.

7. Keep your RA’s phone number in your cell. You never know when you’re going to get lost in China Town or need bailing out of jail. It’s a good number to have in case of an emergency.

8. Ruthlessly use your college’s free services. Now that I don’t have the luxury of a school gym, career, or counseling center, I’m regretting not using them as much. Your tuition is paying for these services, so use them.

9. The most important four-letter word of all time: TUMS. My friend’s carry a roll of Tums with them at all times. Whether it’s to cure you of cafeteria-induced food poisoning or to help settle your stomach after you’ve mixed tequila with beer in an attempt to create an inventive cocktail, tuck this miracle worker in your pocket next to your Chapstick.

10. If you do drugs, do them safely. Drugs are a reality of college. I could just tell you to say no and stay away from them, but that wouldn’t be very honest or helpful of me. If you do choose to do drugs, there is a way to do them safely. Don’t take drugs from someone you don’t know or don’t trust, don’t take drugs alone, and don’t mix drugs. If your friend takes drugs and you don’t, don’t ditch her just because you don’t approve. Be a good friend, stay with her, and have a conversation about why her drug use bothers you after she’s come down.

And most importantly, enjoy yourself. You’ve worked your ass off for the last eighteen years to get here. Have fun!

[Photo courtesy of sobersensor.com]

Don’t worry: It’s perfectly normal to experience all of these mixed emotions before you even make that trip to campus. But no fear! I’m here to give dish out tips not included in the orientation guide or one of those “Tips to Surviving College” books you got as a graduation gift.

1. Orientation: The friendship goldmine! Orientation is a great way to make friends since everyone there is going through that same, “I’m excited about college, but scared sh*tless” phase too. Plus you never know if you’ll meet your next boyfriend or dining hall buddies, so get out there and network, girl! But be warned, everyone you meet there WILL NOT become your new bff. Everyone’s nice at orientation, but everyone begins to show their true colors after a couple of weeks (or drinks) into the semester. This brings me to my next point…

2. Get to know the upperclassmen. They have tons of useful information, plus they tend to be a bit more mature than your freshie counterparts.

3. Make some “me” time. After all the study sessions, girlfriend outings and dates with bf, you’ll learn to appreciate being alone for a little while

4. Don’t try to be best friends with your roommate. You know how they say it’s bad to live with best friends because eventually you’ll hate each other? Exactly. Having a lot of mutual friends is also a bad idea because you won’t have anyone to vent to when she forgets to take the trash out. Again.

5. Learn your alcohol limit and stick to it. Because after awhile everyone will get tired of watching after the “drunken baby” every time there’s a beer pong tourney. And if you’re a novice/new drinker, stay away from Diesel, Everclear, Cuervo and Bacardi 151 for a while.

6. Don’t forget about your home friends. They’ll always be there to laugh at your “remember that time during homeroom…” stories when you really need a break.

7. Wearing sweats/ pajamas to class everyday is NOT a good look. Seriously.

8. Frat parties are good in moderation. It’s okay stumble upon a Frat house when you’re in need of free drinks and a couple laughs with (or at) the bros. Just don’t turn into that girl that’s always at the Gamma Pi house.

9 . Road trip when possible. It helps to alleviate stress and create some good stories for that next time you decide to head home for a good visit with old friends.

10. On-campus jobs= easy money. The pay/hours aren’t great, but it’s excellent source of gas/weekend money. Plus mom and dad will get tired of transferring funds to your account every week.

11. .Plan ahead for a “Walk of Shame”. The best time to for a post-nookie walk back to the dorm on the weekends is around 7 or 8 when everyone is still in bed.

And my most important point?

Don’t lose focus on what you came to college for…Education! So many people get caught up in aspects of college life that they forget about the quest for the almighty degree. So many people are not able to obtain a college education…take advantage of yours.

Any tips you would like to share/dispute?

Days as a Freshman: 1

Current Mood: Exhausted.

So today was my first day. First day without my parents around, first official day on a college campus, and first time waking up in a bedroom that wasn’t the one my crib had been in 18 years earlier.

Moving in yesterday was like hell. It was hot, there were a lot of stairs, and everyone was trying to do the same thing at the same time. I’m in one of the dorms closest to the dining hall, on the second floor. Which, judging by this morning, means I’ll be smelling the day’s breakfast way before I officially wake up.

Saying goodbye to my parents yesterday was weird. I couldn’t say all the things I wanted to say because there were people everywhere. I promised I’d call a lot. I hugged them. And then they were gone. I felt like crying, got this weird ache in the back of my throat, and ran back up to my room before my emotions made me That Freshman Girl Who Bursts Into Tears in Front of Everyone.

Last night my two roommates and I went to dinner and then to a Welcome Session in the student center. Stacey is my first roommate, and she’s your typical polo shirt clad, bleach blond, heart charm necklace wearing California girl. She only ate a peach at dinner and kept saying how “Massachusetts is so cold in the summer!”

I’m not sure we’ll get along.

Rebecca is my second roommate. She seems kind of shy and has lots of crazy brown hair. Doesn’t look like she’s ever cut it. She was eating and talking and I kept wondering how she managed to keep her hair out of her mouth.

I wonder if she sheds.

The official Welcome Session was pretty boring. It was two hours long, and the only interesting thing that happened was that some cute guy came in an hour late and ended up sitting next to me.

“This seat isn’t taken?” he whispered as the Dean of the college was talking to us about ‘Opening our Horizons’. “No one’s sitting here, right?”

“No” I whispered back, trying not to sound stupid (I sound stupid really quickly). “I don’t think so”.

“Cool”. He smiled and sat down, pulling his blue shirt away from his chest because of the heat and pushing his brown hair out of his face. His adorable face.

I must have stared for a minute too long, because he looked back over at me and smiled again. I turned and looked away. Which was probably the dumbest thing I could have done, and meant I couldn’t look back until the speech had ended and he had left.

We’re supposed to have another ‘Welcome’ session today, this one all about the library. I’m sure it will be stellar. Tonight is a BBQ and a bonfire. I’m always reluctant to go to these organized things, because I always end up feeling awkward, but the other choice is to stay locked away in the room. Not a good way to make friends.

Oh well. Maybe that cute boy will be there tonight. And maybe I’ll actually talk to him this time.

Maybe.

They think to themselves, “How can I be sure she’ll be safe when she walks back to her dorm at 2 A.M?”

Well, girls, if you’ve got parents like these, tell them to relax. Because I’ve got just the thing that will keep you protected—and stylish at the same time.

Taser International has just unveiled it’s newest, 50,000 volt hand-held stun gun that not only renders a subject incapable of brain function for a few minutes, but comes in cute colors like “metallic pink”, “electric blue”, “titanium silver” and “black pearl”.

While some people are nervous about whole idea of pedestrian tasers, Taser International claims their new market campaign is designed to help women protect themselves—without inflicting undo harm.

The company explains the ideal way to use it’s new device is to “fire [it}, hit the intended target with its two electrical probes that stun a person for 30 seconds, drop the C2 at the scene and then run for help”.

Those who don’t feel like dropping their new pink designer weapon are most likely allowed to take it with them when they flee…but are probably advised against gluing rhinestones onto it.