If you were anywhere near a public place this last spring, you probably were caught up in the swine flu mania.  Maybe you washed your hands obsessively or carried hand-sanitizer around with you everywhere.  Perhaps you even bought a surgical mask and pulled a Speidi.  Regardless of your reaction to the swine flu, by this time you’ve most likely pulled back a bit on the safety measures.

Well, hold your horses and get an economy-sized bottle of Purell, because the worst is yet to come.

Even now we’re seeing summer camps hit hard by the H1N1 virus, purely from the amount of kids grouped together in one place.  Hmm, where else could massive amounts of people be stuck in small spaces together for extended periods of time? Oh right – every university in the country.  What does this mean for the fall semester?  Will incoming freshman be supplied with surgical masks as a part of their orientation kit? Read More »

According to every single headline I’ve seen this morning, it seems that there is an outbreak of something called the Swine Flu. I don’t really know what it is (or what pigs have against us…besides the fact that we only like them for their fatty and delicious goodness), but my finger started hurting last night and I can only assume I have caught it.

Schools and businesses are being closed because of this sitch, and people from NY to Chicago are walking around town with SARS masks on.

But while the rest of the world is freaking out, I couldn’t be happier.

Seriously, schools and businesses are closing? Holla back, y’all. This swine flu is the perfect excuse for just about anything this week and I plan to milk it for all it’s worth: Read More »

I am usually not one to hate an entire group of people for the mistakes of one (except OSU students…I really do strongly dislike them all), but this time it’s different.

This time it involves food. And not just any food, peanut butter.

Peanut butter has been the one constant in my life over the past 4 years. When boys upset me, I turned to peanut butter on a spoon. When friends upset me, I turned to peanut butter mixed with vanilla ice cream. When my jeans got too tight from all that PB on a spoon/in ice cream, I turned to peanut butter Power Bars to fuel my workouts. And when I got sick of working out and instead wanted to numb the pain, I smoked some pot and then turned to PB and Cheese crackers.

Peanut butter was my friend when I was feeling lonely, and my support base when I needed it most.

And now those f**kers in Blakely, Georgia have gone and ruined it for me. According to news reports, the people of Blakely are behind this whole peanut butter emergency; their factory was full of bacteria (not to mention roaches) and they knew their products were testing positive for Salmonella…but shipped them out anyway. Read More »