• Overheard: Things We Like to Do

    Overheard: Things We Like to Do

    (Girl, bringing a drink back to a table.)
    Guy: Whad’ya get?
    Girl: It’s a gimlet.
    Guy: Oh. We usually freeze those. Or put them in the gravy.

  • Overheard: Hand-to-Boob Combat

    Overheard: Hand-to-Boob Combat

    (Two girls, on a campus bus.)
    Girl 1: So did they have sex?
    Girl 2: No, they boarded Penetration Station but the train never left.

  • Overheard: What Am I Made Of

    Overheard: What Am I Made Of

    (Guy and girl in tour group, walking through campus.)
    Guy: Flying’s weird. Turbulence feels like you’re … hitting a ton of small animals, or something.
    Girl: Ohh-kay. Don’t know you well enough for that kind of humor yet.

  • Overheard: Maya on Faya

    Overheard: Maya on Faya

    (Guy, girl, in a restaurant.)
    Guy: I’ve heard from Davis and Florida State.
    Girl: Wait, Florida State? Where’s that?

  • Overheard: The Rumpus Room

    Overheard: The Rumpus Room

    (Girls, talking at dinner.)
    Girl: Today was horrible.
    Girl 2: Yeah?
    Girl 1: I had the worst headache. It was so bad, I couldn’t pee.

  • Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball

    Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball

    (Two girls, walking)
    Girl 1: OK, we take this to the grave.
    Girl 2: Yeah, no one can find out.
    Girl 1: Kinda like the time I cried in the Lizzie McGuire movie.
    Girl 2: Or when you peed on Stacie’s boots

  • Overheard, With Feeling

    Overheard, With Feeling

    (Girls, at breakfast.)
    Girl 1: How was the party?
    Girl 2: Weird. Some guy and his girlfriend trapped me in the bathroom all night.

  • Overheard: Go Watch the Super Bowl Instead

    Overheard: Go Watch the Super Bowl Instead

    (Girls, watching television in the lounge.)
    Girl 1: I just like Peyton and beer.
    Girl 2: I’d hit Peyton. I’d hit his chin, too, if he had. one.

  • Overheard: Dry Heaves

    Overheard: Dry Heaves

    (Two girls, walking.)
    Girl 1: So how was last night?
    Girl 2: It was great. Craziest sex I’ve ever had…. But I’m worried. I think he might like me.

  • Overheard: I Was One of Those Ships

    Overheard: I Was One of Those Ships

    (Girl, on the phone.)
    Girl: Uh, just so you know, that pee in the bed last night was yours, not mine…. Yeah I’m sure…. No as soon as I heard that coming out I grabbed my pants and ran out…. Yeah, I’ll need to come get my bra later.

  • Overheard: Slim Pickings

    Overheard: Slim Pickings

    (Girl, complaining in the student union lounge.) Girl: I used to like Gaga, you know, back when I thought she was a hermaphrodite. Like, I’d watch her, and I’d be like “yeah, this is good, I like this,” but I was always on my toes. Because you never know when something might just – pop out! It was exciting.

  • Overheard: Son of Sam Eagle

    Overheard: Son of Sam Eagle

    (Two guys, in the lunchroom.)
    Guy 1: I’ll give you a hint. His name rhymes with Awesome.
    Guy 2: Plawsome.
    Guy 1: No.

  • Better of Best of Overheard, 2009

    Better of Best of Overheard, 2009

    (Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game.)
    Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke.
    Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke?
    Girl 1: Okay, yeah.