There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.

2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.

3. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
Adorn the helmet with Bon Iver stickers. Do what you must, just stop bitching and moaning and sucking down Parliament Lights and PBR cans like it’s your job. You’ve got a trust fund, you unitard-wearing complainer.

4. Hypocritical much?
So, you spend your time hating on people for being judgmental a-holes? While you sit there and judge them based on the fact that they’re wearing mainstream clothing and maybe enjoy rap music? I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?

5. Sports are not the anti-christ.
I like basketball. It’s fun to cheer for things (I know. Enthusiasm. Scary.) and maybe you should try watching it. Just because a lot of people love it doesn’t mean it sucks.

6. People eat animals. They taste real good.
Don’t tell me how my burger came to be. Veganism is your choice, not mine. Do I tell you how your lungs are turning black when you smoke? No. Do I not-so-politely inform you that your skinny jeans are permanently damaging your nerves? Nopers. Don’t remind me that my sandwich was once a living thing.

7.  It’s okay to like things without being ironic.
I’d love to meet a hipster that can openly admit that they un-ironically enjoy Britney Spears or Fall Out Boy. Even just a couple songs. Come on! It’s catchy! I’m not judging you!

8. Starbucks is tasty. Organic coffee tastes funky.
Enough said. Maybe it’s overpriced, but oh my god, I have never had a decent frappucino at an indie coffee shop. Side note: your indie coffee shop is most likely a franchise, too!

9. PBR is gross.
Enough. Said.

10. Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of spandex and Ray-Bans, can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.

Usually when we post questions we find on Yahoo it’s because the questions are so dumb and ridiculous that they make us laugh. Like when people ask about their poo or how to make their genitalia bigger. I mean, really, who asks those sorts of things?

Not this week, though. This one is actually a good one and one we’d love to know the answer to. We’ve truly been wondering about this one since our first encounter with a dude in skinny jeans and Tom’s shoes. And it makes us feel better to know we’re not the only ones confused…

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/29/yahoo-question-of-the-week-whats-with-the-pbr/feed/ 1 ccandystaff yahoo-question-dynamic yahoo PBR http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/25/the-top-10-reasons-i-am-hating-hipsters/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/25/the-top-10-reasons-i-am-hating-hipsters/#comments Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:00:31 +0000 Melanie - Northeastern University http://collegecandy.com/?p=32475 ]]> There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.

2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.

3. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
Adorn the helmet with Bon Iver stickers. Do what you must, just stop bitching and moaning and sucking down Parliament Lights and PBR cans like it’s your job. You’ve got a trust fund, you unitard-wearing complainer.

4. Hypocritical much?
So, you spend your time hating on people for being judgmental a-holes? While you sit there and judge them based on the fact that they’re wearing mainstream clothing and maybe enjoy rap music? I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?

5. Sports are not the anti-christ.
I like basketball. It’s fun to cheer for things (I know. Enthusiasm. Scary.) and maybe you should try watching it. Just because a lot of people love it doesn’t mean it sucks.

6. People eat animals. They taste real good.
Don’t tell me how my burger came to be. Veganism is your choice, not mine. Do I tell you how your lungs are turning black when you smoke? No. Do I not-so-politely inform you that your skinny jeans are permanently damaging your nerves? Nopers. Don’t remind me that my sandwich was once a living thing.

7.  It’s okay to like things without being ironic.
I’d love to meet a hipster that can openly admit that they un-ironically enjoy Britney Spears or Fall Out Boy. Even just a couple songs. Come on! It’s catchy! I’m not judging you!

8. Starbucks is tasty. Organic coffee tastes funky.
Enough said. Maybe it’s overpriced, but oh my god, I have never had a decent frappucino at an indie coffee shop. Side note: your indie coffee shop is most likely a franchise, too!

9. PBR is gross.
Enough. Said.

10. Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of spandex and Ray-Bans, can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

In case you haven’t heard, tonight is the biggest, baddest and most important VP debate EVER.

And nothing goes better with big, bad and important events quite like drinking games. We at CC have created a drinking game worthy of the event, so grab your friends (bonus if they are on the other team…it just makes everything more fun), all the essentials, and get your political game on!

What you will need:

Beer: 2 kinds are necessary: a quality brew of your choice, and a blue-collar variety (we prefer PBR).

Vodka: Stoli, straight from Palin’s neighbor, Russia, is best

A stack of dollar bills: You know you’ve been storing your money under the mattress lately, anyway.

A cheap bottle of wine

A tube of lipstick

The Rules:

Every time Sarah Palin:

- Mentions Russia: take a shot of Vodka

- Dances around an answer/rambles on about nonsense: chug your beer

- Mentions her children: take a drink

- Mentions hockey moms/being a hockey mom: put on some lipstick and drink

- Makes reference to the inexperience of Barack Obama: chug your beer

- Mentions doing everything we have to do to protect Democracy in the Middle East: punch your neighbor and drink their beer

- Changes the subject from something politically relevant and important to something about the Middle East or Oil: drink while chanting, “AMERICA IS #1!”

- Mentions the Bridge to Nowhere: scream, “Thanks but no thanks,” and take a shot of vodka. Then tell everyone you didn’t take a shot of vodka.

Every time Joe Biden:

- Mentions Scranton, PA: chug your beer

- Mentions taking the train home every night: drink

- Offers reasons why he can identify with the middle class: chug a PBR

- Says something really dumb that could potentially ruin his career: drink

- Backs off out of fear of looking like a villain who hates women: call him a pussy and sip a glass of red wine (with your pinky up).

- Mentions Sarah Palin’s lack of experience: drink

- Looks visibly pained by the sound of Palin’s voice: take 2 shots of Vodka (and consider a few Advil, too)

Every time either candidate:

- Mentions the current economic crisis/bailout plan: make it rain and chug some beer

- Mentions “Wall Street and Main Street”: chug a beer (PBR preferred)

- Cuts the other one off: drink twice

- Bashes George W. Bush: put on some music and dance

The debate is on at 9pm tonight, so pack up the books and gather round the tele. This is gonna be good.

For more political/drinking fun, join CollegeCandy’s Facebook group!

And now Kid Rock will be brewing beer?!

WTF is up with celebrities trying to do it all? Just because you are good at rocking the stage (or mediocre at best, if you are Jessica Simpson) doesn’t mean that you know how to design bedding. Or a nice smelling perfume.

And just because you happen to drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that you should start brewing it. I drink a lot of beer; do you see me coming out with a Wolverine Brew? No! Because while I know how to consume beer quickly (beer pong), I don’t know the first thing about brewing mother f–king beer.

What’s next? Paris Hilton uses a ton of condoms (I imagine); is she gonna launch a line of Paris Couture Condoms? Is Britney Spears going to release her very own Spears-Anti-Psyhoctic meds? Will Snoop Dog create his own Super Snoop Weed?

Kid, I think you are pretty good on stage, but I don’t think you really have it in you to create a beer. I mean, you are Kid Rock for God’s sake; your lifestyle is more aligned with trailers and chewing tobacco than with a nice, smooth brew. We already have Keystone, Schlitz and PBR; do we really need another low quality keg?

Would you drink Kid Rock Beer?

Wanna see more celebrity stupidity? Join our Facebook group and we’ll update you on all the dumb sh*t celebrities are doin’!