We’ve got a serious case of the Issues this year. But what to care about? Where do you aim your burgeoning, passionate fury? Trick question! Everywhere, of course! We’re all such furious young people. But you’d be remiss if these weren’t on your political plate:

-The New Russia

Does Russia actually have the national cojones to start a second Cold War? Honestly, it seems unlikely; as a nation, we’re not as fresh around nukes as we used to be, and I’d hope there have been enough near misses since then that’d we’d be leery of another round of brinkmanship. But it’s clear that the Motherland is tired of playing second fiddle to emerging powerhouses like China, and with all the god-knows-what they’ve been getting into recently, we’ll definitely want a Prez who can play both hardball and group hugs with the Russians. Of course, this probably won’t affect the average college student much, though you might want to bug your facilities management about getting some sturdier desks. Read More »

If you are reading this it means that you are still alive. Congrats on surviving another (or your first!) Welcome Week! Don’t worry; those bruises will be long gone by Parent Weekend.

It’s been a great week and we at CC Headquarters have been quite busy while all of you lucky ladies are out enjoying your last week of freedom. After all, who else was going to guide the young, innocent incoming freshmen?

Without us, they never would have known how to deal with difficult roommates, how to tell if a prof was good, how to break the ice with strangers, how to cook when all they have is a mini fridge and hotpot, what to wear to the first day of class, how to handle all the weirdness of college, and the rest of the shiz that makes up college life.

And if we were out getting our drink on, who would have taught you all you need to know about condoms? Or why you maybe shouldn’t have drunk sex?

We are like guardian angels over here. Where are our wings, damnit?

It’s amazing we even had time to catch the Democratic National Convention, or find out who McCain chose as his VP.

And now it’s over, along with our sweet, sweet summer.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend!