What is it about that gets us off? There are websites 100% dedicated to it!

Does it make them seem more attractive when they’re photographed scarfing down hot dogs and slurping milk shakes? Not really.

Relatable? Likable? Personable? Nah.

Just because Jessica Biel eats a sandwich doesn’t mean I’m her new biggest fan and want her to come over and do my nails.

It’s probably because there’s something vulnerable about being caught in the act of eating. Most of the time, I feel kind of sorry for them, their mouths stretched all ugly and their and faces askew.

Just like watching celebrities fall down and/or trip, there’s simply something human about seeing a Cover Girls and Guys stuffing their perfect, rich faces.

Or how about it being just plain FUNNY? Read More »

Everyone knows MySpace Tom. You know, white tee clad Tom, that friend of yours, that you’ve never actually met, who greedily claimed a precious spot in your top eight?

I must admit I stopped using my MySpace about a year and a half ago when I realized I was denying more friends than I was approving. The whole cyber-friendship/relationship/courtship thing is not so much my thing.

I like to know that my “friends” aren’t actually forty-year-old men with bad hygiene and a snaggle tooth who buy Hot Pockets in bulk and spend Saturday nights with Jenna Jameson on high res.

Either way though, I was slightly amused to learn that Tom, currently a man with a reported 194,923,131 amigos, is apparently not very friendly! The 31-year-old Libra was spotted by TMZ paps outside of an X-Games pre-party, but was in no mood to play. Read More »

Oops, she did it again.

Honestly, I’m one of the few that think Britney’s crazy antics lately have been absolutely glorious. Obviously, she just got tired of all the paps and ruthless tabloids and decided to flip them the big fat bird. Good for you Brit, lose your mind all you want!

Personally, I always loved Spears the singer, always hated Brit the person. Especially in Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 where she stated, “I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that.”

Intelligent, Brit.

Anyways, as if filling her kids’ baby bottles with soda and then trying to get a dentist to whiten their little teeth wasn’t enough, she has now reportedly threatened to kill a photographer. Wacky bald Brit? I approve.

Commando without a care Brit? Sure, why not.

Psycho killer Brit? (She’ll cut you.) Not so much.

The same pap, Andrew Deetz, that swiftly got his arse beat by her bodyguard last week in Vegas after trying to photograph Brit is now coming forward, claiming that Britney threatened to kill him.

Deetz is asking (begging?) for a restraining order against Spears, accusing that she witlessly claimed that she, or ‘someone she hired’, would kill him. No doubt she’s sure she’s ‘stroooonger than yeeesterday’! Read More »

Victoria Beckham is coming to America! Well, technically, she’s already here.

Some may not be as excited as others, but I watched NBC’s one-hour special on Posh’s arrival, and let me tell you–you judged the woman a bit too soon.

Right off the bat, it’s so obvious that Victoria knows exactly what she’s doing. Surrounded by her hairdresser and other staff (but, unfortunately not David) Posh immediately hires a new assistant who “cannot be too pretty or too thin.” Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Probably that this woman could not be more vain, right?

Please.

Take a minute to recognize her sarcasm, and after you do, realize that she’s kind of right. If her assistant causes any kind of media stir it would only end up making Posh’s life more chaotic. Defeats the purpose, right?

And the hilarity! Victoria is one funny bitch. After talking her way out of cheating on her driver’s test, she gets invited to a socialite’s lunch where she proceeds to visit with rich old ladies who do dolphin calls. Read More »

Brittany Spears is weird.

I think we all know that now. Either she was stupid and misguided from the beginning and her agents / managers / parents / assistants / bodyguards kept her from really showing it, or something has recently gone very, very wrong in that hat-covered head of hers.

Case in point:

A few days ago, a message popped up on Spears’ website apologizing for attacking paparazzi in early February. If you saw the footage (which kind of reminds me of some scenes in 28 Days), a then-bald Spears jumped out of her car after being chased by photographers and went after them with a giant umbrella.

The situation itself was strange enough, but now this mother of two has gone and made is super strange. Read More »

Avril’s in trouble with the law. Surprisingly, this time it isn’t for hocking a loogey at the paparazzi.

Canada’s favorite punk princess has been charged with copyright infringement for the lyrics and music for “Girlfriend” which sound suspiciously like pop duo The Rubinoos song “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” from 1979.

After comparing the songs, I can see why The Rubinoos might charge her for copyright infringement. The only similarities seem to be the words and music during the chorus, so really is that enough to sue Avril?

Apparently, it is enough for Lavigne’s people to hire a musicologist (there’s a job for everyone and everything these days) to compare the two songs. According to Avril’s manager Terri McBride, the results came back so “solidly on their side” that it was “ridiculous.”

So take a listen, and decide for yourself.

What do you think, should Avril be sued?

Day after day, we see paparazzi shots of celebrities walking their dogs or heading into dance rehearsal. It’s been engrained in our minds, for some twisted reason, to care…whether it be what they’re wearing, who they’re with, or maybe they’re pregnant!?!?!

In these snapshots, the paparazzi is unintentionally creating free publicity for the brands these celebrities are wearing, the shopping bags they’re toting, or the food or drink they’re carrying. Starbucks has been basking in the glory of this free publicity for years now, so much so in fact, that I’m starting to think Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have actually super-glued Starbucks venti cups to their bony well-manicured hands.

It would only take someone with an amazing head of hair…cue my reference to Jennifer Aniston, to think of actually embracing and taking advantage of the paparazzi hordes that harass her on a daily basis. And she’s doing just that. Yup, our very own beloved Rachel Greene has teamed up with SmartWater and agreed to carry their water bottle around Hollywood, allowing the tabloids to print pictures of her with it. SmartWater, or smart girl? Read More »

I admit it, I log onto sites like PerezHilton almost daily. Why? Mostly because I’m avoiding work I should be doing—a writer who hates staring at a computer screen spends a lot of time procrastinating—but also because I like the idea of watching celebrities act stupid. It’s lame, and a little selfish, but watching someone who’s got more money and power and status than I do make horrible life or outfit decisions is entertaining to me.

Am I jealous? Maybe a little. But I think the biggest motivator to peruse gossip blogs is the desire to break though the façade of Hollywood. I just can’t believe everyone is that cool and calm and collected and beautiful all the time. The writer in me wants to see the reality behind the fake tan. Read More »

I always thought that the only celebrity that could incite any sort of stalker behavior out of me was Christian Bale. I have been madly in love (border line obsessed) with him since I was about 10 years old. When I was little I used to write him a letter every week in hopes that he would write me back. Which he never did. As I got older, and he started getting bigger and more spectacular muscles letters were out, and provocative fantasies were in. The first five minutes of American Psycho are like my dream come true. All I needed was for him to turn around in the shower.

But I made a sojourn to Los Angeles last week, and it’s really true—there are celebrities everywhere out there. And I didn’t react as non-chalantly as I thought I would. Sure, you see them in New York too, but for some reason they seem to blend in more to the everyday population. In LA, maybe it was just me, but they stand out.

I got off the plane, and standing next to me at the baggage claim was none other than Kyle MchLaughin of Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives fame. Him, I wasn’t knocked out over. But still, I had been in town for thirty seconds. Read More »

GQ magazine has named Lindsay Lohan 2007′s Obsession of the Year. This is a terribly sad statement about “WE” as a people. Certainly we are more obsessed with what part of Britney she will shave next. Here is a tasty little excerpt from Lindsay’s interview with GQ:

Tell me about an average day in the life of Lindsay Lohan.

It starts out with a 5 a.m. hike through Runyon Canyon to watch the sunrise. Then I go outside, and I try to find the paparazzi. I go down to Robertson Boulevard, try and search for them, find them, and bring them food.

And then what do you do at night?

Well, of course, I’m sitting at the computer all night.

Have you ever read anything interesting about yourself on the Internet?

No. I wish they’d be clever and make something up for me.

There’s some interesting stuff about you. Irocman39 in Skokie, Illinois, says you’re the “smokinest woman on the face of the earth”—

God bless him.

—and that he wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating saltines.

I don’t eat. Don’t you people know? It’s all about anorexia and bulimia nervosa.

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