Question?! Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I need help.  Two days ago my boyfriend and I split up.  We had a fight about him disappearing for a while without any explanation.  I was furious because that has happened to me before; in high school I had a long-term boyfriend who one day left school and disappeared without telling me.  I never heard from him again.

Well, this past weekend I was afraid that was happening again and I panicked.  When he finally did get back to me I was furious at him for making me panic like that.  I said things I didn’t mean and then we were over.

He had said he was busy (not strictly true because he had been on the phone and he could have found five seconds to let me know everything was fine). I later found out through talking to our mutual friend that he was upset with me and that was why he hadn’t gotten back to me.  So then I was even more upset with him for not being honest with me.

But here’s the thing: this whole thing is my fault.  The whole time we were together, practically, I didn’t trust anything he told me.  I’ve had relationships in the past, and they all turned out terribly.  I realize that everyone has terrible relationships sometimes, but it seems like everyone I care about lets me down.  I don’t trust anyone.

Understand, it’s not the little things I don’t trust him with.  When he says he’s with friends and stuff, I don’t care. Read More »

My jaw dropped within the first minute of me opening this “back to school” edition of Seventeen. Why are they suggesting $70 t-shirts and $100 shirts to their readers? I’m not sure who they think their demographic is, but I’m pretty sure it consists of girls who are more likely to shop at Forever 21 than French Connection. That said, I was totally loving their fashion spreads. I love how carefree, eclectic and vibrant it is, and I hope their readers are inspired by that.

When I got to the section on guys and relationships, I was pleasantly surprised by the article on what to say in tricky hookup situations. It was a great piece on openly communicating while still being sensitive and thoughtful. Very impressive. Naturally, it was followed by an article “decoding” guys. Always, always mockable.

Seventeen says: “What are you doing this weekend?”  = “I want to ask you out, but I’m too nervous to ask.”
Jasmine says: Or…he’s just curious about what you’re doing this weekend. While yes, it is possible that he is into you, this phrase is way too vague. Ridiculously uncool of Seventeen to encourage a new generation of girls to overanalyze a guy’s every. single. word. Read More »

So, when an attractive stranger asks me if I want to grab some coffee, all common sense totally flies out the window, and what do I say?

“Sure!” (Insert a little drooling)

And then the worrying begins.

I know, I know, grabbing coffee is totally innocent. Yada yada. But, years of motherly concern, “What time are you going to be back?”, “Be careful when you drink”, have been totally ingrained into my thinking. I mean, I’ve been on the streets at two at night. Alone. In some of the roughest parts of London (yes, I’m a Brit), but those worries don’t stop flying around my head. No matter what. Read More »

Okay, I’ll admit it: I’m paranoid. Seriously. I look over my shoulder when I walk home at night. I don’t accept phone calls from numbers I don’t know. It’s not a fear thing; it’s more irritation that I can be tracked down.

Which is why I am fascinated by all the little internet thingies that claim to be able to find personal information (location, phone number, etc.) if you only just plug in the name. I mean, are they accurate? Are some better than others?

I tried to use some of them to track down an old friend, but given that old friend’s name is Jen Jones, I had way too many results with no real way to tell if I was getting the right person.

So I decided to test some of them with my own name (I mean, I know my own information, right? I hope?) and here are the results:

Intelius People Search

There were a LOT of possible me’s, but, voila! There I was, nestled in between my name dopplegangers, there for the world to see. It even listed my correct age (and my middle initial!). However, they made a little mistake–I’m listed as living in my hometown, where I haven’t lived for over 6 years and definitely haven’t been registered at for almost 3. Still, pretty impressive. Read More »

Honda rolled out a brand-new feature in Japan on April 22nd—a built-in navigation add-on that points out questionable locales on maps. I have affectionately dubbed this feature the Sketchometer.

I don’t know how the system does it (does anyone? even Honda?), but its ability to pinpoint specific locations where car jackings and thefts have occurred in the past is more than a little freaky. I mean, what if you lived in one of those areas?

I wouldn’t want my fancy new car feature warning me not to go down the street where my favorite supermarket is or beeping whenever I drove within ten feet of anyplace nebulous.

From an objective standpoint, the feature really isn’t a bad idea. It’s great to know, for example, if you’re parked in a neighborhood where you should probably lock your doors. From a sane-person standpoint, though, it’s kind of absurd. Read More »

I spend a lot of time telling myself to relax.

Relax, I tell myself. It’s okay that you didn’t have time to straighten your bangs this morning–no one is looking at you. It’s okay that you just said something really stupid to a tourist on the subway–no one is noticing you. No one else really knows you exist. RELAX.

Unfortunately, my seemingly-insane paranoia was validated yesterday.

My boyfriend and I went into a diner that I haven’t been to for about three years. And this is Manhattan, right, so there have been millions of patrons since the last time I’ve been there. And I was never a regular customer or anything like that.

So yesterday I’m in this diner and the waiter brings me my cup of tea and he says, didn’t you used to wear glasses? i remember you–you came in here a few years ago.

And I almost peed myself. Read More »