Here at CollegeCandy we’ve been all about spreading the love, joy, and general merriment of the holiday season this week.  We gave you gift guides, survival lists, and countless Hollywood scandals to talk about.  But in case you missed anything while you were out hunting for a parking spot at the mall, here’s a run down of what you should be reading…

-Welcome winter!  Here’re 10 Things We Love about Y.O.U.

-Home for a week and already bored?  We’ve gotcha covered.

-And in case you’re one of those ambitious types, 6 TV shows you should definitely watch this break.  Break out Netflix and a giant bag of popcorn!  Dawson’s Creek, anybody?

-Is Mom asking you why you haven’t found a boyfriend yet…on your Facebook wall?  Avoid arguments while you’re home by laying down these social networking ground rules for parents.

-If you’re not celebrating Christmas with the fam (consider yourself lucky and) take a peek at this cheat sheet to throwing the ultimate holiday party.

-Reflecting on this past semester and wondering if you’re bordering on Make Out Slut territory?  Worry not, our dude’s got you covered.

-Or maybe you’re in that relationship gray area.  You know, where everything is perfect and lovely and wonderful…except you haven’t said those three little words yet.  Maybe that’s not so bad…

-Yikes!  Looking for a few last-minute presents to pick up?  We gotcha, girl!

-And don’t forget what’s coming up in a few more short days!  Have you got your New Year’s outfit yet?  Shop your closet and get a jump on that “Save More Money!!!!” resolution.

-A lot can change in the month that you’re home.  Be on top of the latest flirting trends when you’re back on campus.  Hint: it makes Twitter look tame and Facebook seem almost obsolete.

Hi Mom, it’s me.  Your first born.  So I saw you’ve gone ahead and made yourself a Facebook account.  Fabulous.  While I fully support the older generation hijacking their way onto what was once my favorite social networking site, I’d really like it if you adhered to a few guidelines before going buck wild with all those bumper stickers I know you’re dying to send people.

Really, it’s just a few things to be mindful of while uploading daily inspirational quotes.  Think of this as a handbook of helpful suggestions, not a list of strict rules and regulations.

1. Private messaging is a beautiful thing. I don’t want to know what’s going on between you and you high school sweetheart or why you don’t list that you’ve been married to dad for the past 35 years.  Your wall is for things you want the WORLD to see.  If it’s not on the up-and-up, make sure your conversations remain private.

2. I know who you are. Speaking of messaging, when you leave a note on my wall, you don’t need to include “Love, Mom.” I see your picture. I see your name. I know it’s you.

3. Don’t add anyone who you don’t actually know. I don’t want to worry when I see that you’re now friends with Ganjup Nepsal and Tikizi Hanazulu, two men who I’m sure told you how proficient they are in international banking.  Wanna know a secret?  They’re lying.

4. No baby photos. Spit-up is never cute.  Regardless of what you say, my head was amazingly too large for my tiny baby body.  Did I mention my head was covered in bright orange hair?  And that you took to dressing me in a variety of fancy plaid dresses?  There’s a reason why I hide the photo albums when my boyfriend comes over.  Some things are better left on a need-to-know basis.

5. Don’t click on the ads. You know, those great offers on the side of the screen.  They’re not real.  Or if they are, you’re going to have to spend a lot of money and fill out a lot of forms before they can apply to you.  I don’t want to hear you screaming my name from the upstairs computer wondering why you can’t just have free copies of Better Homes and Gardens for a year.

6. Gratuitous pictures of yourself are unwarranted. Don’t do the whole arm-out self-picture thing.  An entire album of you at your desk, you in your car, you on the porch, you with the dog, and you in the yard is really unnecessary.  Plus you’re clogging my Newsfeed.

7. Application invitations are annoying. I do not want flair, I do not want buttons, I do not want bumper stickers, I do not want your book recommendations, I do not want gems or jewelry or characters or sayings or balloons or games.  Enough!

8. If you’re going to do any of the above, please just don’t add me as a friend. Or if you’re going to comment negatively on my outfit/life choices in my pictures. Or about the guys who were in the vicinity when a photo was taken. Or friend my friends.

Stick by my guidelines and everything will go a-ok on Facebook. Despite the fact you’ll definitely embarrass yourself at first, I really think you’ll end up liking it. Maybe next week I’ll teach you how to text. Maybe. No promises.

1. Dating
After you make out with a guy, do you friend request him? If so, how long do you wait? What about that cute boy in your lecture? Will he think it’s weird that you know his last name? Do you write on his wall? If he doesn’t write back, is he not interested? OMG, he “likes” your status, what does that mean!?  With all this virtual interpretation, there’s hardly time for a real date (or more realistically, a real romp-in-the-hay).

2. Your GPA
I know I’m not the only one that spends more time Facebook creeping in the library than actually studying, and term papers take much longer when you’re logging in to check your News Feed after every paragraph. Especially when that News Feed says “(insert ex’s name here) is in a relationship.” Cue mental breakdown and tears. In the library. Do you see where I’m going with this?

3. Friendships
When we can keep in touch with our friends via wall-to-walls and see what’s going on in their lives from status updates, it’s easy to forget that weekly phone call. Then when you’re finally home for summer together, it seems like you haven’t actually talked in ages. Because you haven’t.

4. Family TMI
Somewhere along the way, adults mistakenly determined it was okay for them to have Facebook too. So that status you posted about your 58 second keg stand? Yeah, Grandma saw that. And that wildly inappropriate TFLN your BFF put on your wall because it totally applies to you? Auntie Deb saw that too. And if you “marry” your roomie on Facebook, get ready, because at Thanksgiving dinner you WILL be asked when you decided to become a lesbian.

5. Your Future
Some organizations have sneaky ways of getting around those privacy settings (if you remember to use them in the first place), and they will stalk you. Turns out those pictures of you funneling beers while getting a piggyback ride from a guy in a lacrosse pinny and the “I’m soo hungover” status updates don’t go over so well with the big boss man. Even if you’re the most responsible student ever, Facebook faux-pas can make you unemployable in an instant.

Yes, there are many up-sides to this little trip: we get a break from all the homework, we get to eat something other then cafeteria mystery meat for a change, and we get to curl up with Scruffy on the couch for a couple of days.

But with the comfort of being home comes a few downers as well. And I’m not talking about being woken up at 9am on a Saturday or having to empty the dishwasher. It’s those little comments from mom and dad that really get under your skin. And no matter how hard you try to be nice, you just can’t help but snap, say something mean and beeline to the car/airport (clean clothes and leftovers in hand, obvi) as soon as humanly possible.

Here are a few of the worst offenders:

“Honey, your pants look a little tight”
Yes mom, I realize that drinking 5 days out of the week and eating delivery pizza has done a number on my waistline. Am I happy about it? No. Do I know it is there? Yes. Is it helping that you pinch the muffin top and poke the underarm flab? Absolutely not!

“Have you found a nice boy yet?”
If by “nice” you mean “a tall pre-med student who considers hanging out in the library fun,” then no, dad, I have not found your ideal son-in-law quite yet. But I have hooked up with a couple of the guys on the football team who can barely form coherent sentences but have 8-pack stomachs you can bounce a quarter off of, if that counts for anything.

“Are you getting straight A’s?”
Don’t you think if I was acing every test I probably would’ve mentioned it to you in our weekly phone calls? It’s the fact that I am failing Bio miserably and barely ever making it to the 9 a.m. calculus lectures that has kept this topic out of our discussions. Maybe next semester. Keep praying, I know I am.

“We’re not just your ATM, you know.”
Ok, so they’re right about that, but between classes and everything else I’m doing on campus (napping?), I just don’t have the time to call and chat every day. Hell, they should be happy they hear from me at all.

“We saw your pictures on Facebook, you look like you are having…a lot of fun”
Get off Facebook! This is not a tool to stalk your children and befriend your old high school classmates and catch up. This is my website where I stalk my ex boyfriends and post sloppy pictures of myself, neither of which I would like you to monitor.

“Why can’t I see your Facebook pictures anymore?”
I have no idea, mom; Facebook must be crashing. It’s been having a lot of issues you know, giving people viruses and stuff. You should really terminate your account.

“We are still trying to plan that visit”
Oh goody. I can cancel all the party invitations for a 4-day weekend filled with quiet dinners, giving campus tours, and being yelled at for living in a pigsty. Wonderful. I’ll just pray you don’t find the handle of rum under my bed, or the textbooks still in their wrapping in the desk drawer.

What else do your parents pester you with over break that drives you crazy?

[Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like, we hate how Walmart treats its employees…but we love the low prices! Or, we love how that boy makes us laugh….but we hate that he has no motivation in life. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!

There are so many difficult choices in life (do we love or hate high heels??), so we thought we’d sort through ‘em right here. Every week we will discuss another issue we are torn up about. Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!]

Ohh FB. I really do hate how much I love you.

Love: Clearly, Facebook serves its purpose as a social networking site. It’s great for ‘friending’ (and poking!) that cute guy you see around campus but don’t actually know, checking up on your friends from high school and leaving them funny video posts on their walls, and helping you to remember your lab partner’s birthday. Facebook makes it extremely easy to communicate with people without actually talking to anyone or putting in any real effort.

I also love Facebook’s “Events” section. Where else can find out about and get directions to parties AND know the guest list beforehand so you can determine whether or not you want to go? It’s pretty amazing. Best of all, however, has to be the new Facebook phonebook. With one click, you can see the numbers of all of your friends (who have added them!) and, if you have Facebook Mobile, even add them to your address book or call them from your cell. It’s genius. And it makes the whole awkward “can I have your number?” conversation obsolete!

Loathe: No matter how hard I try, a five minute “study break” on Facebook always turns out to be more of a two hour stalk-fest. It’s horrible. I start looking at pictures, reading notes, and laughing at status updates and, before I know it, 45 minutes have elapsed and none of my biology lab report has been written.

As we all know, Facebook makes you a creeper. Do you really NEED to be looking at pictures of your boyfriend’s ex girlfriend and getting jealous? Or what about that skank in your calculus class? Apparently yes, because I can’t seem to stop. And it’s not healthy. I mean, how creepy is it that you know a the interests, activities, and favorite quotations of some hot guy that you’ve never talked to? …Awkward.

On top of that, good old FBook can get pretty annoying with their constant notifications for EVERYTHING. Application invite? Want to join my group? Be a part of my cause?! Probably not, but I know that I’m going to be emailed about it. A bajillion times.

The worst thing (yes, even worse than all those stupid applications) though, is that everyone has a Facebook profile now. No longer reserved specifically for college students, now your boss, dentist, middle school choir teacher, and, scariest of all, even your parents can view your profile and the pictures you took at last weekend’s parties. Time to up those privacy settings!

In the end, though, no matter how creepy or unproductive my excessive Facebook use makes me, I know that I’ll never be able to pull myself away from it. I’m that addicted. And let’s be honest, despite it’s major issues, Facebook rocks. And I’m a junkie.

Blink 182 is back together again!

Congratulations to new daddy, Tiger Woods.

Workout balls are dangergous.

Sure the music was great, but what about the Grammy hair?

2 UCLA students are on their way to the top thanks to Coca Cola.

The best lip balm ever?

An online support group for those of us with parents on Facebook.

Christian Bale takes kid to the dentist.

The Craigslist Free section is all you’ll ever need.