We all try to avoid them, but somehow, some way, 8 AM classes sneak their way into our college schedules.

Maybe it was the “this semester’s going to be different” syndrome that somehow possessed you to sign up for that early morning seminar. Or maybe it’s that pesky biology course that you’ve put off for the last 3 semesters — the one you have to take to declare your major. Either way, we all succumb now and then to the evilest of academia plaguing our university campuses – 8 AM classes.

After spending about five lectures cursing the school’s scheduling system, you realize that you actually have to suck up this class for the entire term. When you finally come to that place of acceptance, rely on these survival tips to get you through the long road ahead:

1. Prepare your sh*t ahead of time – It takes about 5 minutes to sleepily throw everything you need in your school bag before you hit the hay. Make sure to grab the essentials. Notebook? Check. Pens and pencils? Got ‘em. New York Times sudoku book? Hell yeah!

2. Set your alarm to your own sleeping habits – Personally, I like to set my alarm to about 20 to 30 minutes before the time I absolutely have to wake up, also known as the Oh Sh*t Hour. That way, I can have the satisfaction of slapping my snooze button without actually being late for class. Now, if you’re like my roommate, you may want to set your alarm at the actual O.S.H., or else you may automatically turn off your alarm in your sleep.

3. Drink coffee – And lots of it. Read More »

So, uh, I quit. I quit Master Cleansing.

I tried to talk myself in to sticking it out. I really did. I kept telling myself all the little motivators I mentioned in my last update. I told myself that if all sorts of other people could do it, I damn well could. I told myself that not only were all my friends and family aware I was doing it, but I was broadcasting it on the internet – to quit would mean failure, and everyone would know.

But then I went to the gym. And I’m totally one of those sick people who genuinely enjoys the gym. I love to sweat, use my muscles, feel all strong and healthy and accomplished. And when I found myself sprawled out on the workout mats, head all fuzzy and discombobulated, too tired and pissed off to do a crunch or run on the treadmill, I thought, this is totally moronic. I’m miserable. I don’t care if I’m so loaded with fucking toxins that I mutate in to the Incredible Hulk, this Master Cleanse sh*t has got to stop.

So, I gathered up my stuff, walked out of the gym, walked to the closest cafe, bought a parfait, and f*%king chowed down. And it was AWESOME. Immediately, everything turned around. I was cheerful, happy, energetic, ready to run on the treadmill and hang out with my boyfriend and paint my room and do all the things that seemed utterly insurmountable while I was living off of f*%king syrup and lemon juice. Read More »